


Provocation Expert

by paranthelion



Series: Quidditch!! [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Coming Out, Emotionally Repressed, Falling In Love, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Getting Together, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lack of Communication, M/M, Quidditch, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2017-01-18
Packaged: 2018-09-07 01:01:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 48,384
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8776891
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paranthelion/pseuds/paranthelion
Summary: “Maybe I’m not interested in playing Quidditch with you.” 


  “Are you suggesting you might be interested in playing something else with me?”

 
Kei doesn’t understand why everybody’s so worked up about Quidditch, or why the captain of the Ravenclaw team has taken an interest in him, but he's not going to let any of it get to him.





	1. Match One: Gryffindor versus Slytherin

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I have blatantly stolen from Tsukki's canon arc (and added broomsticks and "broomsticks" *suggestive eyebrows*), so some dialogues may seem familiar, especially in the first two chapters.
> 
> 2\. This fic follows Hogwarts naming conventions, so most characters call each other by their first names. I know. It's weird for me too.
> 
> 3\. Lastly, this takes place in the same 'verse (and time) as The Perfect Slytherin, but can be read alone.

When Kei received a prefect badge just before starting his fifth year at Hogwarts, he’d actually been stupid enough to be pleased. Gleeful, really. At long last, he could bend Shouyou Hinata and Tobio Kageyama to his will with the threat of detention. Just the thought of having the power to make Shouyou scrub toilets with a toothbrush the next time he bounced around the dormitory shouting was almost enough to make Kei look forward to going back to school.

He should have known better. If you let yourself get excited about anything, you just ended up suffering more later.

It was only the first week of school, and already seventh-year prefect Koushi Sugawara was trying to ruin Kei’s year.

“Sorry, but I refuse.”

“The professors are concerned that some of your classmates are going to struggle this year with the OWLs,” Suga said. “If they fail, it’s going to make Gryffindor look bad.”

“You mean Shouyou and Tobio,” Kei said flatly. “There’s no way I’m going to tutor them.”

 “You don’t really have a choice, Kei. It’s your duty as a prefect to help your housemates.”

It wasn’t as if he’d asked to be a prefect. The badge had just arrived over the summer holiday in the post. He was perfectly aware that he’d only been chosen because there wasn’t anybody better. Tadashi Yamaguchi was far too shy to get anybody to listen to him, and Tobio and Shouyou were too stupid. They could hardly have a prefect who was probably going to fail all his Ordinary Wizarding Level exams at the end of the year.

“I would, but …” Kei said politely, looking around for an excuse. His eye caught Tadashi watching from the the couch behind Suga. “I’m trying out for the Quidditch team. If I get in, I won’t have time for tutoring.”

He and Tadashi had talked about it over the summer when his best friend had come to visit. Or rather, Tadashi had talked, rather wistfully, about how cool it would be to be on the Quidditch team. It wasn’t a topic that Kei was particularly interested in.

“Hm. Okay,” Suga said, but he looked sceptical. “Well, if you don’t make the team, I’ll ask you again!”

Great. Now he’d really have to do it. At least only Tobio was on the team. Kei would rather play Quidditch with one of the idiot duo than try to beat an education into both their thick skulls.

Which was how Kei found himself standing in the drizzle on the edge of the Quidditch pitch the following Saturday morning with the rest of the sad hopefuls. Despite not having originally wanted to join the team, he was feeling slightly nervous. He didn’t want to be judged unworthy by the team, and be rejected in front of Tadashi and the other applicants. And he definitely didn’t want to admit failure to Koushi Sugawara and have to accept the tutoring assignment from Hell.

“The Quaffle’s going to be slippery,” Tadashi said, wiping off the rain droplets on the handle of his Cleansweep Eleven on his robes. His hands were shaking. “Will your glasses be okay?”

“They’re fine,” Kei said. He’d already cast a water-repelling charm on them. Besides, he had more important concerns at the moment. He turned accusingly to the little redhead standing on his other side. “You never said you were trying out for the team, Shouyou.”

“Yeah! I was going to before but they never had any spots open,” Shouyou Hinata said, bouncing up and down on his toes. His eyes were fixed on the sky, where another applicant was already doing her tryout.

“Didn’t you fly into a tree the last time you were on a broom?” Kei asked, thinking back to their flying lesson in first year. Tobio and Tadashi had had to climb up and disentangle him.

“Shut up! It was my first time on a broom! I’m going to score twice as many goals as you today. Just you wait.”

“So you’ll score none, then.”

Kei blocked the goals. He didn’t score any. Twice nothing was still nothing.

“Huh?”

“Kei’s a Keeper,” Tadashi explained.

Judging by Shouyou’s blank expression, he obviously still didn’t understand, but he just turned to ask, “Are you trying out for Chaser too, Tadashi?”

“Y-yeah.”

“How cool would it be if all three of us got in? Daichi’s looking for two Chasers and one Keeper, right? Then all four of the Gryffindor boys in our year would be on the team!”

As if sharing a room together, going to class together, and eating together wasn’t more than enough already.

“Maybe he’ll fly into a goalpost this time,” Kei said to Tadashi, when Shouyou had left for his turn.

But Shouyou was surprisingly not terrible. Granted, he missed a few passes and completely undershot the goalposts when he tried to score, but he dodged the Bludgers like a natural, rolling, swerving, looping and nailing a freak shot with an assist from Tobio.

“When did he learn to fly like that?” Tadashi asked.

“No idea.”

It was annoying to watch, actually. Kei would never admit it out loud, but he wouldn’t have been able to pull that off, and he’d been flying since he got his first toy broom at the age of two. Shouyou hadn’t even known that brooms could fly until he got to Hogwarts, and since he was Muggleborn, he probably couldn’t practice at all over the summer holidays.

“He’s really good,” Tadashi mumbled.

“There are two spots for Chasers open,” sixth-year Chikara Ennoshita reminded all the other applicants. It was obvious to all of them that Shouyou was a shoe-in. “Good luck, Tadashi.”

But Tadashi completely botched his tryout. He kept fumbling the Quaffle and threw it two metres wide of the left hoop when he tried to score. Kei knew that his best friend could fly better than this. They had spent half the summer on their brooms, with Tadashi practicing against Kei to prepare for this moment. But Tadashi was so nervous that he almost fell off his broom when Ryuu Tanaka, one of the team’s two Beaters, aimed a Bludger at him.

When he came back to join the others, it was with his broom trailing in the wet grass, and his eyes on his shoes.

Kei knew there was nothing he could say to help, so he said nothing at all.

In the end, the two new Chasers selected were Chikara Ennoshita and, to Kei’s irritation but nobody’s surprise, Shouyou Hinata.

Next were the Keeper tryouts. By the time it got to Kei’s turn, the only thing preventing him from twisting his fingers with nerves was the broom in his hand. At least the rain had stopped.

“What kind of broom is that?” Daichi Sawamura, captain of the Gryffindor team, asked when Kei walked onto the pitch.

“It’s a Moonbeam,” Kei said. He’d known this was coming.

“Woah!” Yuu Nishinoya, team Seeker, said enthusiastically, coming up beside Daichi for a look. “They had an article about it in the Quidditch Quarterly! I thought it was only coming out next year!”

“It is.”

“How did you get this?”

“My mother’s on the design team.”

It was a bit embarrassing, really. Kei hadn’t even wanted the broom. He’d found it hidden in his trunk while he was unpacking in the fifth-year dormitory, along with a note from his mother that read, ‘ _Happy early birthday!!_ ’ He should have expected it of her from the moment she overheard Tadashi talking about the open Keeper position over the summer. His parents were Quidditch mad. And look what had happened.

They were all going to expect Kei to be amazing, now that they knew he flew a world-class racing broom.

“What are they doing here?” Tobio asked abruptly.

They all followed his narrowed gaze to see the Ravenclaw team striding across the pitch. Daichi glanced at his watch and made an annoyed sound.

“Ravenclaw booked the pitch for the afternoon, Sawamura,” the Ravenclaw captain, Tetsurou Kuroo, said as he drew near. “We’ve got tryouts to get through too.”

“Sorry, Kuroo,” Daichi said. “We had a bit of a late start because of the rain this morning. We’re almost done. This is the last one.”

The Ravenclaw followed Daichi’s gesture to look at Kei. He was nearly as tall as Kei and quite handsome, in a just-rolled-out-of-bed sort of way, with a casual self-assurance that drew the eye. His hooded eyes made him look bored as he gave Kei a once over, eyes lingering for a second on the Moonbeam clutched in his hand, before lifting to meet Kei’s. One corner of his mouth curled up into a smirk.

“Mind if we stay?” Kuroo asked, turning back to Daichi.

Kei dropped his eyes, feeling suddenly self-conscious and aware of both teams standing around him. He tightened his grip on his broom, irritated with himself.

“Well …” Daichi said, frowning with reluctance. “You don’t mind, do you, Kei?”

“It’s fine.”

What was he supposed to do? Tell them to go stand in the locker room?

“Alright, then,” Daichi said. Glancing at a Ravenclaw boy with a mohawk standing behind Kuroo, he added, “But no heckling.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it,” said Kuroo. “Right, Taketora?”

Kei was too annoyed when he kicked off the ground to remember his discomfort about showing off his broom. Of course, he knew that if he got in that he’d be playing matches with the entire school watching, but at least then he’d be sharing any failures with the team. If he fumbled the Quaffle now, the only one embarrassed would be Kei.

Once he was up in the air, in front of the three goal hoops, Kei cleared his mind of the Ravenclaw captain’s smirk and focused on the Chasers as they made their penalty shots. Both of the new Chasers were easy to read, and Kei blocked their shots effortlessly, but Tobio Kageyama was an entirely different matter. He’d been lauded as a Quidditch genius greater than Tooru Oikawa since second year, so Kei didn’t really expect he’d be able to do much against him.

His first shot made the far edge of the left hoop so narrowly that Kei heard the Quaffle whisper against the frame. Kei managed to graze the second with his fingertips, despite Tobio pulling a feint, but it still went through the goals.

It wasn’t as if any of the other applicants had done better though.

Of course, his flying didn’t garner the _oohs_ and _aahs_ that Shouyou’s had, but it was adequate. When Kei landed, Daichi gave him a nod and said, “You’re on the team.”

Before he could think not to, Kei’s eyes went to Tetsurou Kuroo, even though he had no reason to care what some Ravenclaw he’d never spoken to thought of him. Kuroo caught his gaze and gave him the same sly little smile as before. Kei turned away immediately.

“Congratulations, Kei,” Tadashi said afterwards. He managed to barely sound envious at all. “You flew really well.”

Of course, Kei ended up wishing he were sitting in the stands with Tadashi as a spectator when the team was crushed by Slytherin in the first match of the season.

The entire thing was a disaster before it even began. First, Yuu Nishinoya got himself banned from the match by accidentally knocking over the Care of Magical Creatures professor while racing on his broom across the school grounds. Then Shouyou got so nervous before the game that he threw up on Ryuu Tanaka in the locker room.

Before the game, Daichi had warned them, “Slytherin’s been playing with the same team for a while now, and they’ve won the Cup the last two years in a row. Most of you have never played a match before, and we still lack experience, but I really believe we’ve got potential.”

Potential didn’t stand a chance against experience and skill. The Slytherin team tore straight through their formations, throwing the Gryffindors into an uncoordinated mess. As for Kei, he’d known long before the game that he was no match for Slytherin’s star Chaser, Tooru Oikawa, and he was proven right on every failed block.

The only good thing that could be said about the match was that at least it was short. After letting through thirteen goals in quick succession, Kei was actually relieved when the Slytherin Seeker caught the Snitch, ending the game in less than twenty minutes.

 

* * *

 

“You suck at passing the Quaffle,” Tobio growled over dinner that evening.

“I’m not used to playing with so many people in the air,” Shouyou argued, shovelling mashed potato into his mouth. “And at least I _tried_ to pass.”

“Why should I pass to you when you drop the Quaffle and let the other team get it every time?”

“It’s not like you did that much better, Mr King of Quidditch. You only scored two goals.”

“I was getting targeted by Bludgers the entire game.” Tobio tore into a drumstick with his teeth and said through a mouthful of chicken, “I need to practice dodging more.”

“Then let’s go! Maybe we can get Ryuu to hit the Bludgers for us. And Kei can Keep!” Shouyou said, bits of potato spraying across the table in his excitement.

“Not a chance,” Kei replied, cutting a roast carrot into bite-sized pieces. He couldn’t decide what was more off-putting, the duo’s unfounded enthusiasm, or their table manners.

“We can’t. I already asked Daichi. Hufflepuff has the pitch for the rest of the day,” Tobio said, glaring at the Hufflepuff table like their team had scheduled practice purposefully to get in his way.

Kei chose not to mention that he’d seen the Hufflepuff team come into the Great Hall for dinner fifteen minutes ago. He couldn’t stand uselessly hot-blooded people like Shouyou and Tobio. What was the point in trying so hard for a school club? Their next game wasn’t even until March. That was _four months_ from now. So why were they so desperate to get back on the same Quidditch pitch that they’d just been humiliated on today?

Abruptly, Kei put his knife and fork together and stood up from the table.

“Are you okay?” Tadashi asked, twisting in his seat to look up at Kei. He’d been tip-toeing around Kei all afternoon, like he thought Kei was actually upset about losing the game.

“I’m fine. I just remembered I left my gloves in the locker room.” He’d taken them off during Daichi’s consolation speech after the game. “Excuse me.”

“Do you want me to come with you?”

“No, thanks.”

The last thing Kei felt like doing was going back to the pitch, but he couldn’t just leave his gloves there for anybody to find. Hopefully nobody on the Hufflepuff team had already picked them up.

Once outside, he lit his wand with a muttered _lumos_ and pulled his robes tighter around him. The night air was sharp with cold, and the wetness of the grass soaked through the hems of his trousers. It was blessedly quiet. Living in a boarding school like Hogwarts, it was rare to get any time alone.

As the Quidditch stadium came into view, he could see that it was lit up. Somebody must be using it still. Entering the locker room through the outer door, he found his gloves under the bench, exactly where he’d left them. Then he went to the pitch-side exit, curious to see who was still playing. Whoever it was was missing dinner.

He’d intended to just take a glance, but what he saw surprised him enough to pause. Two streaks of Hufflepuff yellow were hurtling up and down the pitch tossing the Quaffle to each other at super speed, while another two students in Ravenclaw blue practiced scoring goals off at one end. They didn’t seem to be playing together, but even so, Kei had never heard of rival teams sharing the pitch. Practice times were usually jealously guarded to prevent other teams from stealing strategies and finding weaknesses.

Suddenly, one of the Hufflepuffs gave a shout, pointing at Kei, and they both slowed down, before swooping down towards him. Great. They probably thought Kei was spying on them. Briefly, he considered ducking back into the locker room, but then he really would look suspicious. So instead, he stepped forward onto the pitch.

As they descended, Kei recognised the two. The first to hit the ground, with a solid thump, was Hufflepuff’s captain and star Chaser, Koutarou Bokuto. Besides the muscular seventh year’s powerful presence on the Quidditch pitch, Kei knew him only for being obnoxiously noisy at mealtimes and in the corridors around the school. Landing next to him was Keiji Akaashi, a sixth-year Chaser who was good-looking enough to rival Tooru Oikawa, but without the Slytherin’s whiny, fake personality that all the girls in school seemed to fall over themselves for.

“Hey, hey! You’re Gryffindor’s Keeper, right? I saw you play today,” Bokuto said, then paused to search for his name. “You’re, uh …”

“Kei Tsukishima,” Tetsurou Kuroo said, before Kei could answer. He landed behind the Hufflepuffs surprisingly lightly for someone of his height and strolled forward like a panther eyeing its prey.

Kei hadn’t even noticed him fly over.

“Ooh, you know him, Kuroo?” Bokuto sounded impressed.

“It’s my duty as captain to know all the other teams’ players. Especially the cute ones.”

Kei blinked back at Kuroo’s smirk, unimpressed. He wouldn’t be teased so easily. He wasn’t an idiot. And what a stupid thing to say anyway. Kei was one hundred and ninety centimetres tall. He could hardly be called cute.

“Hey, I’m captain too, you know!” Bokuto said loudly.

“And that’s why we’re going to kick your arses this year!” Kuroo said, breaking his gaze with Kei to turn to the Hufflepuff.

“You wish!”

“Please excuse me,” Kei informed the air, turning away as the two captains continued to bicker.

“Hang on, Kei,” Bokuto called, before Kei could leave. Then the Hufflepuff frowned. “Wait, we can’t call you Kei. We already have a Keiji.”

“Koutarou …” Akaashi said, presumably warning his captain for being rude. It was the first time he’d said anything since they hit the ground.

“Tsukishima’s fine,” Kei said. As if he wanted to be called by his first name! He didn’t even know them, and they were all older students from rival Houses and Quidditch teams.

“Oh, hey!” Bokuto exclaimed, like he was suddenly remembering something. “Tsukishima! You’re the one with the broom! The Moonbeam!”

Here it comes, Kei thought, supressing a sigh. In the past two months, he’d discovered that there were typically only two responses when people found out that he flew a world-class racing broom. Either they sucked up to him in the hopes that he’d let them try it out, or they told him that it gave him an unfair advantage and that he didn’t deserve to be on the team.

The first thing that Bokuto did was point a triumphant finger at Kuroo and say, “See! I know about the other teams too!” Then he turned back to Kei and said, “Anyway, can you come defend the goals for us for a bit?”

As expected. So they were the type that wanted to try Kei’s broom. But it was one thing to say ‘no’ outright to Shouyou. Being rude to people he didn’t know, particularly ones older than him, was quite another.

“Shouldn’t you ask somebody in your own House?” Kei asked.

“The rest of the team ran away as soon as our official training ended,” Akaashi said. “Koutarou’s practice is endless.”

“I’d do it, but I’m busy training our new Chaser,” Kuroo added, pointing to the goalposts, where the other Ravenclaw was hovering on his broom watching them. “Koutarou’s probably going to play for the League next year, so it’d be useful to practice with him.”

“Sorry, but my broom’s in my dorm,” Kei said with his best fake-polite smile. If they were just interested in seeing his broom, that would make them lose interest.

But to Kei’s surprise, Bokuto said, “That’s fine! You can use one of the school brooms. I’ve got the key for the broomshed.”

Kei hesitated, trying to think of a better excuse than that he just didn’t want to. But before he could say that he had homework, Kuroo said casually, “Your team just lost, what, two hundred and eighty to twenty, right? As a Keeper, shouldn’t you practice a bit more?”

“Let me get a broom,” Kei said through gritted teeth, ignoring Kuroo’s smug face and Bokuto’s pleased smile as he handed over the broomshed key.

The irritation wore off, and the regret started to sink in, around the fifth time one of Bokuto’s famous power shots blew through Kei’s hand and into the hoop behind him. It didn’t help that the ancient school broom he was riding had an acceleration of nought to sixty in what felt like an hour, or that it juddered whenever he jerked it to a halt.

By the time Kuroo flew over, Kei’s arms felt like lead, and his palms were red and stinging. Of course, as soon as the Ravenclaw was watching, Kei completely fumbled a relatively easy shot, the Quaffle ricocheting off his fingertips into the hoop directly behind him. As Kei dived down to retrieve the falling ball, he willed the breeze to cool his hot cheeks.

“Y’know, you’re good at reading shots, but you’re really weak,” Bokuto said, when Kei flew back up to them with the Quaffle. “My shots just go straight through your hands, like bam! I thought I was going to break your fingers.”

“You need to get your body behind the Quaffle,” Kuroo advised, gesturing catching the ball in front of his chest. “Don’t just stretch for it.”

“I’m riding a Cleansweep Four,” Kei said, managing a cool smile. “I’m surprised this thing can still stay in the air.”

“If you just rely on your super broom, that little redhead who joined the team with you this year is going to outfly you,” Kuroo said. “I heard he’s never even played Quidditch before.”

Kei’s hands tightened involuntarily on his broom. _Why do you even care?_ he wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to give the Ravenclaw the satisfaction of thinking he’d managed to annoy Kei. So he just kept smiling and said, “That’s unavoidable, isn’t it? Shouyou’s innate abilities and mine are completely different, after all.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows twitched upwards.

“Now that you’re here, I guess you don’t need me anymore,” Kei said. “If you’ll excuse me.”

“Hey, wait,” Kuroo called, but Kei was already flying down towards the exit.

When he got back up to the Gryffindor common room, it was to find Shouyou and Tobio tossing a Quaffle back and forth across the room, arguing about what time to wake up to go flying on the pitch before the teams started practice. Kei confiscated the Quaffle - “People are trying to study” - and went up to the boys’ dormitory.

Why was everybody putting so much effort into a school club? Didn’t they know that if they worked hard now, they’d only end up more disappointed later?

 

* * *

 

The following weekend, when Kuroo approached the Gryffindor table at breakfast, Kei was already feeling irritable. Because it was a Saturday, the table was almost empty. Ordinarily, Kei would still be in bed too, but Shouyou and Tobio had decided that five a.m. was an ideal time to practice Quidditch and had woken him up by making a ruckus getting dressed long before dawn. After trying unsuccessfully to get back to sleep for a couple of hours, Kei had come down to the Great Hall to drown his misery in coffee.

“Morning,” Kuroo yawned, leaning on his broom. The Ravenclaw team had the pitch for the morning, so his entire team was at breakfast. The captain’s bedhead was worse than usual and his eyelids were drooping. It gave Kei a vindictive sort of pleasure to see that he obviously wasn’t a morning person either. “The Hufflepuffs have got the pitch this afternoon again. Want to come practice with me and Kou and Keiji again tonight when they’re done?”

“Isn’t your team playing Hufflepuff next week?” Kei asked.

“Mm, yeah. So?”

“So why are you practicing with your rivals?”

“Well, we don’t want Slytherin to win the Cup again, and since they thrashed your team, they’ve got a leg up. So, you in?”

“No, thank you,” Kei said, turning back to his coffee.

There was a moment of silence behind him, before he heard Kuroo walk away to yell at Taketora Yamamoto to wake up, and hustle his team out of their seats. Once Kei was sure they all had their backs to him, he turned slightly to watch out of the corner of his eye as they shuffled out the door. As they disappeared into the Entrance Hall, Shouyou came bouncing inside ahead of Tobio, both of them looking wind-swept and muddy, with their broomsticks over their shoulders.

“So, are you joining Kuroo’s little gay flying club now?”

Kei turned to look at a seventh-year Gryffindor whose name he didn’t know, sitting a few seats down on the other side of the table. Kei raised an eyebrow.

“Excuse me?”

 “Kuroo asked you to fly with him and Koutarou Bokuto, right?”

Before Kei could answer, Shouyou dropped into the seat beside him, leaning his broom against the bench. He had obviously caught the tail end of the conversation, because he exclaimed loudly, “Kei, are you friends with Tetsurou Kuroo and Koutarou Bokuto?”

“Not even close,” Kei said, shifting his coffee away from Shouyou as his idiot teammate leaned across the table for the sausages.

“Hey, Tobio, Kei got asked to practice with the captains from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw!” Shouyou said, as Tobio sat down on his other side.

“I’m not going to,” Kei said, eyes on his coffee so that he wouldn’t look up at the seventh year listening to their conversation.

“What? Why?”

“Shut up. I’m not an idiot who only thinks about Quidditch like you.”

“Ugh, what a waste! Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw have completely booked out the pitch for the whole week. Me and Tobio’ve been waking up at five in the morning every day so we can practice, and you just say no like that! What the hell?”

No wonder the idiots needed a tutor. They were probably both sleeping through all their classes. At this rate they really would fail all their OWL exams.

Kei sipped on his coffee, trying to tune out Shouyou’s irritating voice as he thought about what the seventh year had said. Was Kuroo really gay? Immediately, he shoved the thought away, along with his coffee, and got to his feet. He’d spend the day in the library. At least Shouyou would never follow him there.

Still, once he was sitting in the silence of the library, he couldn’t stop his mind from drifting back to breakfast. Kuroo had come over just to talk to him, just to invite Kei to play with him, even though his team was waiting. Why would he even want to practice with an average Quidditch player, and a Gryffindor, no less, like Kei? Was he really -?

It had nothing to do with him, Kei reminded himself firmly. And besides, he’d probably never talk to the Ravenclaw captain again anyway.


	2. Match Two: Ravenclaw versus Hufflepuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kuroo thinks he's starring as Aladdin in A Whole New World, and speaks only in innuendo.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some more from canon in the first half of this chapter. Fortunately this should be the last time.

 

Kei couldn’t look away from Tetsurou Kuroo during the Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff game. It was a purely professional interest. They were both Keepers, after all. But unlike Kei, Kuroo was managing to hold his own against the powerhouse that was Koutarou Bokuto. It was difficult to reconcile him with the Kuroo who joked and teased, and looked half asleep, when in front of the hoops he was as focused and serious as Kei had ever seen him. He looked as strong as Bokuto.

“Kei? Kei!”

“Hm?” Kei turned to Tadashi, who was sitting beside him in the crowded Quidditch stands. “What?”

“I asked if you think you can stop Koutarou Bokuto’s shots.”

“Of course not,” Kei said, turning his attention back to the match. This time, he didn’t look at Kuroo. Instead he watched as Bokuto flung the Quaffle to Akaashi with pinpoint accuracy, and rolled to avoid a Bludger aimed by one of the Ravenclaw Beaters. “Bokuto’s on the same level as professional Quidditch players. There’s no way an ordinary person like me could beat him.”

He knew that from experience, though he hadn’t told Tadashi about his impromptu practice with the two Hufflepuff Chasers two weeks ago.

“But … You’re still going to try, right?” Tadashi asked hesitantly.

“It won’t change the outcome, even if I do.”

He could feel Tadashi looking at him, but Kei kept his eyes fixed on the game. In the end, despite Kuroo’s skill as a Keeper, even he let through a total of seventeen goals. But Ravenclaw was only twenty points behind when they caught the Snitch and won the game.

Kei had no reason to care either way about the outcome. None at all. But when he passed Kuroo in the Great Hall after dinner that night, he actually considered saying congratulations when their eyes met. Instead, he pretended not to have noticed him, and kept walking.

 _Pathetic_.

He wasn’t even sure if he meant the part of himself that wanted an excuse to talk to Kuroo, or the part that made him look away.

 

* * *

 

December brought frost and icy rain, and bad news. Chikara Ennoshita quit the team. He claimed it was because he was struggling to balance his NEWT-level classes as a sixth year with Quidditch practice, but coming so close after their loss against Slytherin, Kei thought the real reason he was leaving was fairly obvious.

It wasn’t as if Kei hadn’t considered quitting the team himself. His teammates’ deluded zeal was annoying, and practice had been starting earlier and finishing later at night, despite the falling temperatures. But in the end, Quidditch practice was still better than tutoring, and exercise was important for maintaining one’s health.

“Do you think there’ll be another tryout?” Tadashi asked, feigning casualness as he chopped up rat spleens for their Strengthening Solution in Potions class one afternoon.

“We’re going to get Asahi to come back,” Shouyou, who was sitting in front of them, turned around to say.

“Didn’t he quit the team last year?” Kei asked, as he stirred their potion.

“Yeah, when we got flattened by Ravenclaw in the last match. But he’s really strong!”

“Seems a bit ironic to replace one flake with another.”

“Like you can talk!”

“You’re the one who shouldn’t be talking. Your potion’s boiling over.”

But regardless of Kei’s reservations, the rest of the team seemed happy when Asahi Azumane joined them. Even Kei had to concede that the timid seventh year was a good enough Chaser. His goals were certainly harder to block than Chikara’s.

Bringing in a new player, however, produced an aggravation Kei hadn’t foreseen. That Friday, two weeks before the Christmas holidays, Daichi sat the team down in the locker room after practice. He looked slightly apprehensive, like he wasn’t sure how they were all going to react to what he was about to say.

“I think everybody felt the difference with Asahi here today,” Daichi said, looking around at each of them. “And I think our team is going to be a lot stronger with you here, Asahi. But there were also a lot of mistakes today. We’re not used to the new dynamics. So, Asahi, Ryuu and Yuu and I have been talking, and we’ve decided to stay at Hogwarts for the Christmas holidays to train. We’ll have the pitch to ourselves for two weeks-”

“Wow, that’s awesome!” Shouyou burst out, too excited to let Daichi finish. “We can play Quidditch all day!”

Beside him, Tobio leaned forward, nodding fervently.

Daichi smiled, looking a little relieved. “The sign-up sheet for staying over Christmas is already on the notice board, so make sure you sign it before Professor Ukai takes it down on Sunday.”

Everybody broke into chatter. Shouyou, who had never had a Christmas in the wizarding world before, got very excited when Yuu Nishinoya told him about crackers - “They’re like _boom_ , and the smoke goes _bwah_!” On the other side of the room, Ryuu Tanaka was telling Daichi and Asahi that he could organise Firewhiskey for their adjoining birthdays over New Year’s.

“Ah, no, no, that’s not necessary,” Asahi protested weakly, at the same time as Daichi said, “We can’t drink at school, Ryuu.”

“It’ll be fine! My sister works at the Three Broomsticks. She’ll hook us up!”

“Sorry,” Kei said politely, to get Daichi’s attention. “This isn’t compulsory, is it?”

Immediately the atmosphere dimmed as the team quietened to hear Daichi’s response. Shouyou gaped at Kei, while Ryuu scowled. Kei ignored them both.

“Well. No,” Daichi said reluctantly. “I can’t make you stay if you don’t want to.”

“You’re really not going to stay?” Shouyou demanded. “Everyone else is!”

“That’s your decision,” Kei said. “May I be excused, Daichi? I have a prefect meeting.”

That night, Kei managed to avoid returning to the Gryffindor common room until Shouyou was asleep, and when Kei woke up on Saturday morning, he’d already left for his early flying session with Tobio. Kei actually started to believe that might be the end of it, until Shouyou sat down across from him at lunch and said, “How are we supposed to practice scoring if we don’t have a Keeper?”

“You’d miss the hoops even if there were nobody there to block you,” Kei said.

Later, at dinner, Shouyou tried a different, if no less futile, angle.

“Don’t you care about beating Hufflepuff?”

“Not really.”

“That fancy broomstick is wasted on you!”

“This is just a school club, you know,” Kei said as he pushed his half-eaten dinner away and got to his feet. “I’m not going to spend my holiday on it too.”

As he turned to leave, he heard Tadashi say to Shouyou, “He probably wants to spend Christmas with his family.”

“Yeah, so do the rest of us,” Shouyou said, as noisy as ever. “But, like, I don’t even know if Kei wants to be on the team. Argh! It’s such a waste! He’s got that cool broom and-”

Kei kept walking, and Shouyou’s voice disappeared into the babble behind him. He almost bumped into Bokuto and Akaashi as the two Hufflepuffs came up from a staircase in the Entrance Hall. They both had their broomsticks over their shoulders, and Bokuto was swinging what looked like a picnic basket in his hand.

“Hey, hey, hey! Tsukki!” Bokuto said loudly, attracting the looks of several students around them. A group of Hufflepuff girls clung closer together and whispered as they passed, glancing at the Gryffindor who had attracted their Quidditch captain’s attention.

“Excuse me,” Kei muttered, and brushed past before they could say anything else.

He was halfway to Gryffindor Tower when he heard Tadashi running up behind him, calling his name. Kei turned around to wait for him, surprised by his friend’s urgency.

“You know, I’ve always been jealous of you,” Tadashi said, breathing hard. “You were always so cool and smart, and then you even got onto the Quidditch team.”

He stopped, panting for breath.

“What’s your point?” Kei said. It was fairly obvious that Tadashi hadn’t chased him down out of nowhere to flatter him.

“The way you’ve been lately is really pathetic!” Tadashi burst out. “I would have done anything to get on the team, and play Quidditch with everybody over the holidays, and you’re just throwing the opportunity away like it doesn’t even matter!”

But it _didn’t_ matter. It wasn’t Kei’s fault that Tadashi hadn’t made the team. He’d never understood why joining was so important to him in the first place. And how Kei played had nothing to do with him anyway. But Tadashi wasn’t finished.

“You’ve got an amazing broom, and you’re tall and smart, and you have good intuiton, so why are you satisfied with just doing the bare minimum, and not putting in any real effort?”

“Even if I put in a huge amount of effort for a stupid school club and became the best player on the team, then what?” Kei asked, annoyance making his voice neat. “If by some chance we beat Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw, and won the Cup, then what? Am I supposed to join the League, and the national team? There’s always going to be something bigger and better. You’ll never be able to become the best. So what’s the point in trying so hard, when you already know you’re going to fail eventually?”

“What’s the point?” Tadashi grabbed him by the front of his robes, and for a moment Kei thought he was going to get punched. “What more do you need than pride?”

People used to tease Tadashi, back in first year. He was shy and nervous, and he cried easily. He’d get asked why he’d been put in Gryffindor, when he was such a weak little baby. Kei had never really given it much thought. He’d been asked often enough over the years why he wasn’t in Ravenclaw himself. He’d even wished he were occasionally, when Shouyou and Tobio were being particularly moronic. So he didn’t put much stock in the Sorting Hat’s choices.

But for the first time, he really understood it. Tadashi was far braver than Kei, and far cooler. When had that happened?

“I never thought I’d see the day. You’re really cool,” Kei said, and Tadashi let go of his robes in surprise. “But still. I can’t agree with that. I’m going to go ask.”

Kei’s brother had been proud. Too proud to admit that he’d been replaced on the Gryffindor team after only one year. And maybe that had partly been Kei’s fault. He’d been so excited for Akiteru, so envious. All his letters to his brother while he was away at Hogwarts were asking about how the team was doing. And maybe Akiteru didn’t want to disappoint his little brother, because he wrote back with fantastic lies about how many goals he’d scored in every game. Maybe he’d believed that if he worked hard enough, it would come true.

Kei had only learnt the truth after he’d been Sorted into Gryffindor himself, hoping to be just like his big brother. In the end, Akiteru’s pride had been worthless.

 _Pathetic_.

As Kei had expected, he found Kuroo, Bokuto and Akaashi on the Quidditch pitch. It seemed Saturday evening was their regular meet-up slot. Surprisingly, though, they were not flying, but sitting in the middle of the pitch on a blanket, eating a dinner of mince pies and pumpkin pasties.

“Sorry for interrupting,” Kei said, as all three got to their feet. Bokuto was still shoving a pie into his mouth, while Akaashi brushed pie crumbs from his own fingers. Kei avoided looking at Kuroo. “Would you mind if I asked a question?

He had acted impulsively, thrown off by Tadashi’s intervention. Now that Kei was here, he wondered whether it had been rash to come. But there was nobody else he could think to ask. No Gryffindor would understand.

“Sure!” Bokuto and Kuroo said together. They didn’t seem to mind the intrusion.

“Both your teams are moderately strong, right?” Kei asked.

“Moderately!” Kuroo said. He sounded a little irritated at Kei’s phrasing, but Kei was too distracted to be pleased about that.

“But even if one of you manages to win the Cup, the other will still lose. So I wanted to know, what’s the benefit in working so hard? It’s just a school club. Nobody’s going to care about which House won the Cup when you graduate.”

Kuroo turned to Bokuto, his expression serious as he said, “It’s going to be us. Definitely.”

“No way! The Cup is ours!” Bokuto said.

“You couldn’t even beat our team! How are you going to win the Cup?”

“Shut up! You got lucky!” Bokuto turned to Kei. “Say, Tsukki, do you even like Quidditch?”

It wasn’t something Kei had ever really given much thought to. Growing up, flying was just a given. It had always been something his family did together. He used to love hanging out with his brother, who’d let him play Keeper for him when he was home from Hogwarts. But that wasn’t really Quidditch. He’d never played with a full team, with Beaters and a Seeker, or played in a real match with fourteen players on the pitch, until this year. And so far, had that been fun?

“Not particularly.”

“Isn’t that because you suck at it?” Bokuto asked bluntly and Kei felt a stab of annoyance. “I’ve won a ton of games and we’ve even won the Cup before, and I’m absolutely, positively better than you at Quidditch.”

“I already knew that,” Kei said, trying to keep his voice measured.

“But it was only recently that I started thinking Quidditch was fun. Before that, even if I threw the Quaffle really hard, it kept getting stopped cold. It was really frustrating, so I practicing hitting it instead. And then, in the next match, the same Keeper who kept blocking me before couldn’t even touch my shots. It was the best feeling ever. Like nothing else mattered in that moment except being able to crush my opponent with all my strength.”

If he were honest, Kei had always thought that Bokuto was stupid. He was so loud and single-minded, and off the pitch he didn’t seem to give anything much thought. But listening to him speak, Kei heard the voice of a man - not a schoolboy - who was planning to do this professionally. In that moment, Bokuto seemed incredibly cool.

Kei didn’t think he’d ever found two people cool in one day before in his entire life.

“I mean, maybe that’s just me,” Bokuto said with a shrug. “I guess you’re right it’s ‘just a club’ or whatever, but that doesn’t really mean anything to me. I think if you have a moment like that, then you’ll really get hooked on Quidditch.”

Kuroo nodded. “Yeah, you’re thinking too far ahead, Tsukki. Who cares about graduation? Just think about the satisfaction you’ll get seeing this badger’s face when you block every one of his shots.”

“I’d like to see you try!” Bokuto said, his adult-like seriousness already discarded.

The satisfaction of beating one’s opponents … Kei thought of Shouyou’s frustration when Kei blocked all his shots in practice. He thought of Tobio’s scowl when Kei read his feints correctly. Satisfaction. Of course, Kei could never consistently win against somebody like Tobio, or Bokuto, or Tooru Oikawa. He was just an average player, and there were so many people even in this school who he didn’t stand a chance against. But …

It was a better answer than Tadashi’s ‘pride’, or Shouyou and Tobio’s simple-minded desire to be the best. Kei would have to think about this.

“So, since I answered your question, you’ll play Keeper for us, right?” Bokuto asked cheerfully, slapping Kei on the back and waking him from his thoughts.

This time, Kei’s attempts to block against the Hufflepuffs weren’t as embarrassing as before. Previously, Kuroo had been busy training a teammate, and hadn’t joined them until the last minute. But today he took turns Keeping with Kei, explaining his form and techniques when he was in front of the hoops, and giving advice when Kei took his place. He wasn’t nearly as irritating when he wasn’t smirking at Kei.

It was almost curfew by the time they headed back up to the castle together. But it was only when the Hufflepuffs bid them good night in the Entrance Hall to take the stairs down to their common room that Kei realised he was going to be alone with Kuroo, for the first time ever.

“Gryffindor’s on the seventh floor, right?” Kuroo asked, standing at the foot of the staircase to look up with a distinct lack of enthusiasm for the long climb ahead. “I’m on the fifth. Want to fly up?” he added with a grin.

“If you do that, I’ll give you detention,” Kei said calmly, starting to climb the stairs.

“Ooh, detention with Tsukki,” Kuroo purred as he caught up to him. “Now I’m really tempted.”

Kei flushed. There were only about ten minutes until curfew and everybody else was already in their common room. The castle was silent, for once, and it felt like they were the only ones there. Kei had always prided himself on his composure, but somehow, being alone like this, he couldn’t think of how to reply at all. Refusing to let Kuroo’s teasing get to him, he changed the subject: “Why did you help me so much today? We’re all still rivals.”

“I’m just a really kind person.”

Kei shot him a flat, unbelieving look.

“What’s that face for?” Kuroo said, mock-offended. But then his expression turned thoughtful. “If Ravenclaw wins the Cup, I want it to be because we were the best team, not because the other teams weren’t good.”

Kei frowned at the implication that he was holding his entire team back. It wasn’t as if he alone could have turned around the match against Slytherin, back in November. But before he could say anything, Kuroo added, “Anyway, we invited you, so don’t worry about it.”

 _Why_ did they invite him? Kei wanted to ask, but he didn’t want to belabour the point and look like he was trying to read too much into it. So when Kuroo asked him about his favourite Quidditch team, Kei let himself be drawn into a debate about the merits of the Tutshill Tornadoes versus the Montrose Magpies, and pushed all his overanalysing aside.

“Well. This is me,” Kuroo said, and Kei blinked. He hadn’t realised they were already at the fifth floor. “Sleep well, Tsukki.”

“Good night.”

Kei had barely made it halfway down the corridor when Kuroo yelled after him, “I’ll see you on the pitch next Saturday!”

Kei stiffened. He could hardly shout back a refusal and risk waking up half the castle. So instead he just raised a hand in acknowledgement and kept walking.

When he got to the Gryffindor common room, Tadashi was sitting in one of the armchairs by the fire with his homework in his lap. On seeing Kei climb though the portrait hole, he looked relieved. Kei supposed they had had something of an argument earlier, and he’d been away for hours. Tadashi must have been worried that he was angry.

“Kei! Where’ve you been?”

“The library,” Kei lied, even though he obviously wasn’t carrying the book bag he needed to do any schoolwork. “May I borrow your quill?”

Tadashi handed him the one he’d been using to draw a star chart for Astronomy, and Kei went to the notice board and wrote his name on the sign-up sheet for staying at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays. When he returned the quill, Tadashi was smiling wide-eyed.

“Thanks,” Kei said, and it might possibly have been for more than letting him use his quill. Maybe. He turned away before Tadashi could say anything that would embarrass them both. “I’m going to bed.”

That night, he lay awake in bed for over an hour, mulling over what Bokuto had told him. He definitely didn’t think about the way Kuroo had been so patient and sure when he gave advice, or how his voice had sounded smooth and low when he’d said, _Now I’m really tempted_. He didn’t think about that at all.

 

* * *

 

The following Saturday, Kei waited until he was alone in the dormitory to put an extension charm on his book bag so that he could fit his broomstick inside, along with gloves and a warm outdoor cloak. If he carried his Moonbeam openly on a night when there was no team practice, it would attract attention. Tadashi would definitely ask questions and while Kei wasn’t exactly embarrassed, he wanted to keep his meetings with the other three - not _secret_ , exactly, but private.

Partly, he didn’t want Shouyou to try joining them if he got wind of it - Kei had a feeling that he and Bokuto would get on annoyingly well. And maybe Kei didn’t want people to wonder what the Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff captains were doing with a commoner like Kei. Maybe he didn’t want anybody else asking him questions about _Kuroo’s gay flying club_.

But of course, Tadashi noticed the bag as soon as he came down the stairs to the boys’ dormitories.

“Are you going to the library after supper?”

Kei cursed internally. “Yes.”

“I’ll come with you!”

He had no choice then but to head toward the library after supper with Tadashi. He was still debating whether he should make up an excuse to leave early, or just give up and spend the evening studying, when he saw Kuroo leaning against a wall in the Entrance Hall with his broomstick beside him. When the Ravenclaw spotted him, he pushed off the wall and came strolling over.

“Tsukishima. I was waiting for you.”

“What for?” Kei asked, glancing at Tadashi. His best friend was staring at the captain of the Ravenclaw team with his mouth open.

Kuroo followed his glance. “I need advice from a prefect.”

“You go ahead,” Kei said to Tadashi.

“Um. Okay. Meet you in the library?” Tadashi asked.

“No. I just remembered I have prefect rounds tonight.” Once his friend was out of hearing range, Kei turned to Kuroo and said with his most annoying smile, “I thought Ravenclaws were supposed to be intelligent, but I see even a seventh year can have problems they need a fifth year to solve.”

Kuroo smirked, taking a step closer as he said, “They can when the fifth year’s the problem. See, there’s this Gryffindor who keeps running away from me, even though I know he really wants to play with me.”

“Maybe he’s not interested in playing Quidditch with you,” Kei said, purposefully ignoring Kuroo’s suggestive phrasing. Kuroo was playing with him. Kei didn’t know why, but he was. “You could get detention for harrassing a younger student, you know.”

“Are you suggesting he might be interested in playing something else with me?”

“Such as?”

Kei didn’t need to see Kuroo’s leer to realise he’d made a mistake. Whatever game the Ravenclaw was playing, he was winning.

Taking another step forward, Kuroo lowered his voice so that he couldn’t be overheard when he said, “Oh, I can think of a few things they’d both enjoy.”

Kei felt a spark of heat in his middle that rose through his heart with a jolt, to flare across his face. It was just a game. Kuroo was just trying to get a rise out of him.

“I wasn’t planning on running away,” Kei said, forcing himself not to take a step back. Even if he was blushing, he wasn’t going to back down so easily. He was looking Kuroo in the eye when he spoke, so he saw his eyes widen slightly in surprise. Feeling a wave of satisfaction, Kei brushed past him to head towards the doors to the grounds as he added, “I’ve got my broom in my bag.”

As soon as he stepped outside, however, he halted.

“Ah. It’s raining.”

“Don’t go back on your words now, Tsukki,” Kuroo said as he joined him, and tapped Kei’s glasses with his wand to cast a water-repelling charm.

“I’m not.”

Realising that any student passing through the Entrance Hall could see them together, he stepped away from Kuroo to get down the stairs and out of the light. As soon as he was safely in the dark, he slowed to pull his cloak and gloves out of his bag and put them on. The rain wasn’t at all heavy, but it was icy cold.

When they reached the Quidditch stadium, however, the pitch was dark. The Hufflepuffs weren’t there.

“Maybe Bokuto and Akaashi left because of the rain,” Kei suggested. He knew the Hufflepuff team had had practice in the afternoon, because he’d seen them head outside after lunch, so the two Chasers should have been there waiting.

“Bokuto would play even in a thunderstorm,” Kuroo said with a laugh, waving his wand to light up the stadium. “They probably just went to get food or something.”

Before Kei could point out that they hadn’t seen the two Hufflepuffs in the Great Hall, or passed them on the way to the stadium, Kuroo added, “Let’s test out that infamous broom of yours. Race around the pitch?”

“Alright,” Kei said, and mounted his broom.

“Ready?”

Kei kicked off the ground without answering, and heard Kuroo laugh behind him as he followed. The Moonbeam wasn’t quite as fast as the latest Firebolt or Nimbus series, but it had a faster acceleration, making it the ideal broom for a Keeper, who had to stop and start a lot to cover the goals. So naturally Kei took the lead.

The speed was exhilarating. He barely even felt the pinpricks of rain hitting his face. As a Keeper, he rarely had any excuse to race like this, and he’d almost forgotten how fast his broom could go.

But to his surprise, Kuroo overtook him rounding the hoops with an almost impossibly sharp turn. Kei leaned forward on his broom, and came close enough that he could touch the fluttering edge of Kuroo’s cloak if he stretched out his fingertips. But then Kuroo hurtled around the opposite set of hoops, shaking Kei completely.

“Why is a team captain so proud of beating somebody who’s only been on the team for three months?” Kei asked with a smile that concealed his irritation, when he reached their lap point, where Kuroo was waiting in the air with a smug grin.

He’d already known that Kuroo had a good broom. He came from a very old and wealthy pureblood family, after all. But it was still an older model of the Nimbus series, and it shouldn’t have been able to keep pace with Kei’s Moonbeam, let alone outstrip it.

“Don’t worry, Tsukki,” Kuroo replied, still grinning. “Maybe one day you’ll be able to catch up with me, if you train hard enough.”

“It’s true I’m still young and growing, but I suppose you’ve already hit your peak. After all, you’re on the verge of retiring, aren’t you?”

“Then how about a rematch before I succumb to old age?”

They ended up having half a dozen competitions, in racing diagonally across the pitch, and performing loops, and diving. Kuroo beat him almost every single time, except in a battle of straight acceleration.

When neither of them could think of anything to compete in, and they were both flushed with exertion, despite the rain rolling down their skin, Kuroo said, “You need to sharpen your turns. Don’t just steer wth your hands. Use your whole body.”

He swept left, then right, to demonstrate, coming back to his starting point to face Kei.

Kei raised an eyebrow.

“Try it,” Kuroo said.

But Kei didn’t move. He couldn’t see that he was doing anything differently from Kuroo, and if he turned as he always did, he’d just look like an idiot now.

Perhaps sensing the reason for Kei’s reluctance, Kuroo scratched the back of his head in frustration and asked, “Can I show you?”

“Okay,” Kei said, though he didn’t understand what Kuroo was asking. Hadn’t he just shown him?

But then Kuroo flew up beside him, so close that their knees knocked. Kei flinched as Kuroo put a hand on his shoulder. So he’d meant that he wanted to physically guide his movements, then. Kuroo paused, and the weight of his hand lightened but didn’t lift away completely.

“Is this okay?”

Kei nodded, but he felt horribly exposed all of a sudden. They were sixty feet in the air, in the middle of the pitch, and suddenly the ground, the walls and the safety of the darkness outside the stadium all felt too far away. Kuroo was so close and solid and - _fuck_. _Don’t do this to yourself_. Kei’s eyes dropped from Kuroo’s eyes to his mouth, then away.

“You just surprised me,” Kei said, staring at the stands ahead. He could still see the drop of water clinging to Kuroo’s upper lip in his mind’s eye. “It’s fine.”

Kuroo’s hand on Kei’s shoulder tightened and then bore down suddenly as he stood up on his broom, using his grip on Kei to balance himself.

“Wait, what are you doing?” Kei asked, startled.

Kuroo tilted toward him, like he was about to fall. Then, before Kei realised what he was doing, Kuroo swung his leg to Kei’s broom and sat down behind him. The broom dipped slightly under their combined weight and Kei jerked the handle on reflex, making them jolt upwards.

“Relax, Tsukki,” Kuroo laughed in his ear. “Your super broom can handle the weight.”

“ _That’s not the point_. What the hell are you doing?”

“I told you: I’m going to show you how to handle your broom.”

Then he snickered like he’d said something dirty. Kei flushed. He wanted to retort with something clever and snide, but he was too off-balanced to think clearly, so he just snapped, “Shut up. Get off!”

“Too late. My broom’s already gone,” Kuroo said. It was true: without its rider, Kuroo’s broom had begun to sink obediently back to the ground. “Why are you so flustered? Haven’t you ever shared a broom with somebody before?”

Of course he had. Kei’s brother used to take him flying on his broom all the time when he was little. And Kuroo wasn’t even that close to him. His knees were against Kei’s thighs, but there was some space between their bodies, and Kuroo’s hands were safely gripping the loose folds of Kei’s cloak.

Kuroo was right. He’d let himself become completely flustered and look like a child. How would a normal guy react? He tried to imagine Bokuto in this situation, or Shouyou, and realised he didn’t really know any normal guys. Tadashi would have been even more embarrassed than Kei, but he was so easily flustered he didn’t count. Akaashi probably wouldn’t bat an eyelid, but he was on the complete other end of the composure spectrum and counted even less.

“You’re just going to slow me down,” Kei muttered through gritted teeth.

“Then you’ll be flying at the same speed as the rest of us mere mortals.”

As if he hadn’t just outflown Kei multiple times on his Nimbus.

“You just wanted to fly on a Moonbeam, didn’t you?” Kei accused.

“Something like that,” Kuroo said. His hands tightened on Kei’s cloak, so that it pulled on Kei’s shoulders. “Let’s try it out.”

He leaned sideways, pulling Kei with him. For a moment, it felt as if they would both fall off, but Kei clutched onto the broom handle and they curved sideways through the sky. As a revenge for the sudden movement, Kei pulled upwards in a loop the loop. He felt Kuroo let go of his cloak and felt a lurch of fear, thinking his passenger was falling off the back of his broom. But instead Kuroo wrapped his arms around Kei’s waist to hold on more securely, and laughed in his ear.

Kei couldn’t help it then. He sped across the pitch to swerve around the hoops, then swooped into the air and fell into an almost vertical drop before pulling up to loop around the opposite goals. This time, Kuroo pulled him into the turn, so that their bodies were almost horizontal. Kei felt like they were going to fall, but they just hurtled around the hoops so fast that he couldn’t breathe.

“Try it again!” Kuroo said over the wind rushing in Kei’s ears.

By the time they finally landed, Kei’s entire body felt like jelly. He dropped to sit on the ground, not even caring about the mud and the wet. He’d never flown so fast or so recklessly before in his life. He felt shaky with adrenaline, like the impulsive Gryffindor he was supposed to be. If he could have stood up, he would have done something very stupid right now. But instead, he shut his eyes so that he wouldn’t have to see Kuroo standing over him, and tilted his face up to meet the rain.

“You okay?” Kuroo asked.

“Yeah. That was …” _Amazing. Terrifying. Overwhelming._

When he didn’t finish his sentence, Kuroo said, “Shit, the rain’s picking up.”

It was. Kei hadn’t even noticed until Kuroo mentioned it, but the rain had shifted suddenly to a steady downpour. His robes were supposed to be waterproofed, but that didn’t stop the rivulets snaking under his collar and down his spine and chest. He wasn’t sure if his shivering was from the adrenaline or from the cold anymore.

“C’mon-”

“Hey, hey, hey!”

“That fucking badger,” Kuroo growled, then pointed an accusational finger at Bokuto and Akaashi as they strolled onto the pitch. Bokuto was tossing a Quaffle one-handed into the air like he didn’t have a care in the world. “You’re late! Where the hell have you been?”

He sounded more energetic than actually angry, but Bokuto still stuttered, glancing inexplicably at Kei as he said, “We, uh …”

“We were having dinner,” Akaashi said calmly as he drew to a halt in front of them.

“Oh?” Kuroo leered. “How was it?”

Bokuto almost dropped the Quaffle, but Akaashi didn’t even blink. He’d cast an umbrella charm over himself as a shield from the rain and he looked unfairly composed between the rest of them. Even Bokuto was already dripping, though he didn’t seem to notice it or mind.

“It was delicious.”

Kei had the feeling that he was missing something, but he didn’t care at all. He was coming down from his high and was suddenly exhausted. Even dragging himself to his feet felt like a huge effort. They probably hadn’t even been flying for much more than half an hour.

“I’m going back to the castle before I get pneumonia,” Kei said, picking up his broom. By now, he had to raise his voice to be heard over the rain.

“Yeah, I’ll come with you,” Kuroo said.

“What? No way!” Bokuto complained. “We just got here!”

“That’s your own fault!” Kuroo shot back.

“But it’s not even that bad! This is our last weekend before the holiday.”

“The last time you flew in the rain, you got sick,” Akaashi said and that, rather than the downpour flattening his hair to his skull, made Bokuto slump in defeat.

In the end, they all flew up to the castle, even though flying outside of the stadium without supervision was forbidden. But Kei was wet and cranky and cared even less than usual about school rules or a prefect’s responsibilities to uphold them. When they arrived at the doors, Kuroo flicked his wand over himself and Kei, and the water fell from their robes like it had been squeezed from a sponge, to hit the floor with a splat. Beside them, Akaashi did the same for Bokuto, who was still sulking about their cancelled practice together. Akaashi himself was annoyingly bone dry.

“That was fun,” Kuroo said, after they’d parted with the Hufflepuffs and begun to climb the stairs up to their common rooms. “Pity about the rain.”

“Yes. That m-minor detail,” Kei said, his sarcasm lost in the chattering of his teeth. His robes were no longer dripping with water, but he was still damp and icy cold. He had to be insane, flying in the rain in mid-December.

“Here. Wait.”

Kuroo pulled him to a halt and tapped him with his wand, before doing the same for himself. Their robes started steaming and Kei could feel his skin grow warm.

“Thanks.”

For a few flights they walked in silence. This time, it wasn’t uncomfortable at all. The evening had been something of an emotional rollercoaster, and Kei was too tired to get worked up overthinking things.

“So, are you looking forward to Christmas?” Kuroo asked eventually.

“Not particularly. Our team is staying at Hogwarts to train for the entire holiday,” Kei said, pulling a sour face. He was already dreading it.

“Gryffindors really are crazy.” Kuroo shook his head, sounding a little envious. “There’s no way our team would agree to that. But I guess this means I’ll be seeing you!”

“You’re staying for the holidays?”

“Yeah. Keiji too.”

“We’ll probably be training about twelve hours a day,” Kei warned him. Maybe longer, knowing the Gryffindor team. “There’s no way I’m flying with you, too, after that.”

They both halted. They had reached the fifth-floor corridor that led off to the Ravenclaw common room.

“That’s okay. I’m sure we’ll think of something else to do,” Kuroo said, his usual sly smile in place. “Good night, Tsukki. I’ll see you soon.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: Christmas! New Year's! Firewhiskey!


	3. Break: Christmas Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which the youth are corrupted.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter contains underage drinking. The legal age in Potterland is 17. Kei is 16.

“You know it’s Christmas today, right? Don’t you ever take a break?”

Kei looked up from his book to see Kuroo approaching through the library shelves, dressed for the outdoors in cloak and blue and bronze striped scarf. Instead of taking his usual seat opposite Kei, he dropped into the chair next to him. Automatically, Kei glanced around them, but even if anybody else had used the library since the holiday had begun, their spot by the window was hidden from view.

“This is a break,” Kei said darkly, turning back to his book.

Since the Quidditch team had Gryffindor Tower to themselves, it had been twice as noisy as when the entire House was there. The library had become Kei’s refuge between practices. It didn’t hurt that Kuroo was there every night too. The Ravenclaw seemed to recognise Kei’s need for quiet, and though they always sat together, they studied mostly in silence.

In any case, Kei wasn’t actually studying today. He was rereading _Dragon Species of the World_ for the hundredth time, though at this point he was really just watching the moving pictures. He knew the text by heart.

Their shoulders bumped as Kuroo leaned into him and Kei’s heart jolted until he realised that Kuroo was just trying to get something out of his pocket. Up close, he smelled a little like mulled wine. His cheeks were slightly pink, from the alcohol or the cold - his robes were still damp, so he’d obviously just been outside.

He set a crumpled, slightly stained napkin on top of Kei’s open book and said, “Merry Christmas.”

Kei returned the greeting, automatically polite, even as he blinked at the supposed gift. He wondered if this was a joke. Feeling rather wary, he unwrapped the grimy napkin. Inside was a gingerbread man. One of its arms had broken off, most likely during the journey in Kuroo’s pocket.

“Did you make this?”

“I just decorated it.”

“I can tell,” Kei said. The icing was wobbly and uneven, and it took him a moment to realise that the gingerbread man was supposed to be wearing glasses and red robes, like the Gryffindor Quidditch kit. “Is this supposed to be me?”

“Hah! Keiji said you couldn’t even tell,” Kuroo said, grinning triumphantly. “So how was your Christmas?”

“It was alright. I didn’t see you at dinner.”

Kei felt embarrassed as soon as he’d said it. As if Kuroo might have been at dinner, and Kei just hadn’t noticed him. As if there hadn’t only been three other students besides the Gryffindor team and the school staff at the table. Worse, as if it had been only alright because Kuroo hadn’t been there.

Kei braced himself for the inevitable teasing, for the, ‘What? Did you miss me?’ But it didn’t come. Whether it was the wine or just Christmas cheer, he didn’t know, but Kuroo seemed different today. Less sly. More open and happy.

“Keiji and I went to Koutarou’s. They say hello, by the way.”

“You were allowed to leave the school?”

Kei felt a flash of envy, and then didn’t know why. The food at Hogwarts had been perfectly adequate, and he couldn’t imagine that Bokuto bellowing carols would be any less obnoxious than Ryuu and Yuu’s singing. He was just envious that Kuroo was allowed to leave the castle as he pleased, when Kei had been forced to spend Christmas away from his family for the first time ever. That was all.

“Yeah, well, Professor Yamiji’s friends with Koutarou’s mum, so she went with us. And he lives in the village, so it’s not like we had to Apparate or anything.”

“Hogsmeade village?”

It wasn’t really something to be surprised about. Hogsmeade was the only all-magical community in the whole of Britain, so of course there must be some wizarding children who came from there. But to Kei, Hogsmeade had always just been a place for Hogwarts students to visit on certain weekends. He couldn’t imagine actually living there.

“The one and only.” Kuroo yawned and pushed himself to his feet. “All that food has made me sleepy. I’m going to go take a nap. I’ll see you again for our study date tomorrow night, Tsukki.”

“Right,” Kei said, reminding himself that Kuroo’s choice of words didn’t mean anything. It wasn’t _actually_ a date. He was being stupid for even thinking about it. “Thanks for the biscuit.”

Once Kuroo had left, Kei picked up the gingerbread man, and allowed himself a small smile.

 

* * *

 

_Happy new year Tsuky!!_

_Your invited to the hufflepuff common room at 10PM tonight! See you then!_

Kei reread the letter he’d received that afternoon for the fifth time, as if expecting more information to appear. It wasn’t even signed, though it was probably safe to assume that it was from Bokuto. There was no way Akaashi wrote so atrociously, and no other Hufflepuff would have any reason to write a letter to Kei. But surely Bokuto wasn’t actually going to let a Gryffindor into Hufflepuff?

“Here, have a drink, Kei,” Ryuu Tanaka shouted, pulling Kei downwards as he threw an arm around his shoulders, and tried to push a bottle of Butterbeer into his hands. “Loosen up a bit for once.”

Kei shoved the letter from Bokuto into the pocket of his robes and shrugged out of Ryuu’s grasp, feeling annoyed. The Beater had had quite enough to drink for the both of them already, and it was only half past nine.

As promised, Ryuu had gone all out for Daichi and Asahi’s New Year birthdays. His sister had posted them Butterbeer and Firewhiskey, disguised as pumpkin juice, as well as two large cakes topped with Fizzing Whizzbees and sparklers. Somebody had found a wireless, which was currently playing wizarding pop music at full blast.

“Ryuu, stop trying to get the fifth years drunk,” Daichi scolded from the couch. Despite their initial protests about drinking at school, he and Asahi each had a bottle of Butterbeer and were starting to look a bit pink in the face. They didn’t even look self-conscious about the party hats Yuu Nishinoya had forced on them anymore. “You don’t have to drink if you don’t want to, Kei.”

“I just want him to have a bit of fun with us for a change,” Ryuu said, slapping Kei on the back hard enough to jolt him forward a step. “You’re always running off to the library as soon as we finish practice. We’re on holiday! You have to relax a bit, y’know?”

“Some of us have futures to think of,” Kei said with a fake smile.

“Ehhh?”

“C’mon, Ryuu. Let’s go have some more cake,” Daichi said loudly, getting up from the couch to steer the other Beater away. Over his shoulder, he said, “Sorry about that, Kei. He’s a bit drunk.”

“Hey, Ryuu! Let’s do shots!” Yuu yelled across the room, from where he was playing Exploding Snap with Shouyou and Tobio. “Where’d you put the Firewhiskey?”

“I bet I can drink more shots than you, Tobio!” Shouyou shouted.

“You’re on.”

“Guys, guys! Let’s play Truth or Dare!” Ryuu said, breaking away from Daichi to jump onto the couch.

Nobody noticed when Kei slipped out the portrait hole. If they did, they would probably assume he was going to the library again, even if it was almost curfew. It wasn’t as if Kei could study or sleep in Gryffindor Tower tonight, with all the noise they were making.

Although, at the rate they were going, they would be passed out drunk before midnight.

The walk down to the ground floor was refreshingly quiet, but it gave him time to worry about what to expect. He assumed that Bokuto, Akaashi and Kuroo would be there, but he had no idea what they were going to do. Although, if they were planning on sneaking out of the castle to go flying, Kei was heading straight back up to Gryffindor, annoying Housemates or not. It had started snowing towards the end of Quidditch practice that evening and Kei wasn’t going to go back outside to freeze to death on a broomstick.

He wasn’t entirely sure where the Hufflepuff common room was, but he’d seen the Hufflepuffs come up from the staircase in the Entrance Hall at breakfast time often enough to have any idea which way to head. Fortunately, when he arrived, Akaashi was sitting alone at the bottom of the Grand Staircase, waiting for him.

“Sorry,” Kei said. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”

“Not at all,” Akaashi replied as he stood. “Happy New Year’s Eve.”

He was dressed in Muggle fashion, with a navy jumper and slim-fit jeans. Kei wondered whether he was Muggleborn. Shouyou also frequently wore Muggle clothing outside of school hours, but personally, Kei always felt somewhat naked without wizarding robes.

Akaashi led him down the stairs to the basement, and along the corridor below, until they came to a nook on the right side filled with a stack of barrels. He rapped the barrel in the middle of the second row with his knuckles in a short rhythm and the lid swung open.

As secret entrances went, it was far less complicated than Gryffindor’s. Kei was forever being bothered as a prefect by first years - and Shouyou - who’d forgotten the Fat Lady’s passwords. And then she’d been drunk with her friend Violet on Christmas. Kei had had to shout to wake her up when he returned from the library that evening.

She’d probably never let a student from another House inside.

“Is it really okay to let a Gryffindor into your House?” Kei asked.

“It’s fine,” Akaashi said. “I’m the only Hufflepuff staying for Christmas, so no one will know. Tetsurou’s here too.”

Kei crawled through the barrel after Akaashi and followed him up an earthy passage to a low-ceilinged, round room, decorated in sunny yellow. Cactii danced and waved from curved wooden shelves around the room, while ferns and ivies dangled from copper pots hanging from the rafters.

“Tsukki! You came!” Bokuto cheered, from one of the couches by the fire and sitting opposite him, Kuroo turned around to grin.

“I didn’t really have a choice,” Kei said, trailing slowly behind Akaashi to the couches. The ferns just brushed the top of Akaashi’s head, but Kei had to raise his hand to push them out of his face. At his height, the room was more uncomfortable than cosy. “Your owl left before I had a chance to respond.”

“You didn’t already have plans with your team, did you?” Kuroo asked, frowning slightly as if he was concerned they had disturbed Kei’s evening.

“No. It’s fine,” Kei said, twisting his fingers in front of him. He’d been nervous before, but now he was starting to wonder what had possessed him to come at all. At least when they played Quidditch together, he had something to do with his hands, and he didn’t need to make conversation. Standing in front of them, he didn’t know where to look, or what to say.

“Come sit down,” Kuroo said, as if he didn’t even notice Kei’s awkwardness, and patted the seat beside him. Akaashi had already taken the other spot, next to Bokuto, so Kei had no choice but to obey. “So, we’ve got Butterbeer and Odgen’s finest, and half of Honeydukes, courtesy of Koutarou. And some pumpkin juice, in case you don’t want alcohol. Just help yourself.”

“Tetsurou paid for most of it,” Bokuto said, looking a little embarrassed.

“Yeah, but you did all the hard work smuggling it in, Kou.”

“That’s true!” Bokuto threw his arm over the back of the couch, his fingertips brushing against Akaashi’s far shoulder. “I was kind of nervous buying the alcohol, because Mr Shimada knows my mum. I forgot that I’m already of age.”

“You came of age more than a year ago,” Akaashi pointed out, pouring himself a glass of Odgen’s Old Firewhiskey.

“Yeah, but we never drink!”

“We drank on my birthday. That was three weeks ago.”

“Sh-shut up, Keiji!”

“Um. How did you even get into the castle, if you don’t mind me asking?” Kei asked. Kuroo and Bokuto were both drinking Butterbeer, so Kei took a bottle too and played with the label to keep his hands busy while he spoke.

“Huh? What do you mean?” Bokuto asked, looking confused. “I walked. I live just down the road, you know.”

“Yamiji lets him do pretty much whatever he likes,” Kuroo explained, and Kei remembered him saying that the Charms professor was friends with Bokuto’s mother. Yamiji was also the Head of Hufflepuff.

“Hey, we should play a drinking game!” Bokuto said suddenly, sitting up straight.

“No, thank you,” Akaashi said immediately, which made Kei feel better about not wanting to play either.

In the end, Bokuto and Kuroo set up a game of Butterbeer Pong, while Akaashi and Kei played chess. It was a Muggle set, with pieces that didn’t move by themselves, or grumble and curse the way Kei’s did, which made him think he was probably right in his guess that Akaashi was Muggleborn.

Kei had never actually spoken much to Akaashi, who always seemed perfectly content to allow Bokuto to dominate the conversation. But he was surprisingly easy to talk to. He asked about Kei’s holiday, and how he liked his classes, and whether he thought Charms was more useful than Transfigurations, and listened attentively to Kei’s answers even as he beat Kei twice in a row at chess.

It was the sort of conversation that Kei had been missing all holiday. Most of his teammates were too loud and obnoxious to tolerate, and too stupid to hold an intelligent conversation with anyway. He didn’t mind Daichi or Asahi, but he didn’t think they appreciated his sarcasm, and his relationship with them was mostly formal and polite. And of course, he could never fully relax with Kuroo in the library, although that was for entirely different reasons.

“Do you have practice in the morning?” Akaashi asked, glancing at the clock on the wall.

“I doubt it,” Kei said. He was on his second Butterbeer and though it wasn’t particularly strong, he was starting to feel warm and relaxed. “The whole team was already drunk when I left. I don’t think any of them will be fit to fly tomorrow.”

“I have a surprise planned at midnight, but we can drop you off at your dormitory on the way if you want to get to bed.”

“Ah, no, I …” Kei glanced over at the other two boys, where Bokuto was crowing over his victory while Kuroo downed a cup of Butterbeer. Kei was having a good time, and he didn’t want to go back to Gryffindor Tower yet. The night felt like it had barely even started. And he hadn’t even spoken to Kuroo yet. He’d had just enough to drink that he didn’t feel embarrassed admitting, “I’d like to stay.”

Akaashi followed his gaze. “Good. That’s good.”

Before Kei could think of a way to change the subject, Bokuto came bounding over. He dropped onto the couch beside Akaashi and wrapped his arms around him in a sideways hug, snuggling his head on Akaashi’s shoulder.

“Keeeeiiiji! I am the undefeated Butterbeer Pong champion!”

“You’re drunk,” Akaashi observed, patting Bokuto on the arm. He didn’t seem at all bothered by the affection.

“He’s faking,” Kuroo said, at he sat down next to Kei, closer than he had before. His teasing grin looked a little hazier than usual. “He just wants an excuse to touch you.”

“Am not. I don’t need to fake being drunk to get hugs,” Bokuto said, and stuck his tongue out at Kuroo like a child.

“Let me go, Koutarou,” Akaashi said. “It’s time to leave.”

“Nooooo. Why are we leaving? I don’t wanna.”

“I have a surprise for you.”

At that Bokuto pulled away far enough to look at Akaashi’s face. “For me?”

“Yeah,” Akaashi said and smiled softly at him. Kei picked up his Butterbeer and took a sip as an excuse to look away. Then Akaashi pushed Bokuto away and said, “For all of you. I’ll be right back.”

Akaashi left the room through a round side door, presumably towards the Hufflepuff dormitories and Bokuto slumped onto his back on the couch.

“Are you having a good time?” Kuroo asked, turning to face Kei. His knee was pressed against Kei’s thigh.

“It’s been alright,” Kei said blandly.

“Sorry we haven’t had a chance to talk much.”

“I hadn’t really noticed.”

Akaashi came back with a book bag in his hands and Bokuto pushed himself up onto his elbows to demand, “What’s the surprise?”

“You’ll see,” Akaashi said. He hesitated for a second, then slipped the bottle of Firewhiskey and four shot glasses inside the bag, closing it again before they could see what was inside. “Come on. You have to be quiet though. We’ll get into trouble if you make a noise.”

“Where are we going?” Kuroo asked, as they all got up to follow Akaashi to the exit of the Hufflepuff Basement.

“The Astronomy Tower.”

Kei froze in his tracks, halfway across the room. The Astronomy Tower was out of bounds outside of class time, and while Kei may not have been the most devoted of prefects, he didn’t want to be stripped of his badge either. Or lose about fifty House points for Gryffindor.

“It’s okay,” Akaashi said, looking at him. “I got permission from Professor Yamiji. We just have to be done by twelve thirty, and not make too much noise.”

“I know Yamiji’s laid-back, but somehow I doubt she’d let even you get wasted at the top of the Astronomy Tower in the middle of the night,” Kuroo said. “Even if she is in love with you.”

“The alcohol wasn’t exactly part of the agreement. Which is all the more reason to be quiet.”

The last was directed at Bokuto, who nodded wide-eyed, and managed not to talk at all until they reached the second floor. Even then, he clung to Akaashi’s arm so that he could whisper into his ear as they walked, instead of begging out loud to know what the surprise was.

To Kei’s relief, they got to the Astronomy Tower without seeing so much as a ghost. When they reached the top, it was icy and overcast, but it had at least stopped snowing. While Akaashi cast a ball of light in the middle of the stone floor and Vanished the fallen snow, Kei walked to the parapet and peered out into the night. Apart from a few lights here and there in the castle windows, he couldn’t make out a thing.

After a moment, Kuroo came to stand beside him, and Kei allowed himself to lean into his warmth. None of them were dressed to be outdoors. He was already starting to shiver.

“Here. To warm you up,” Kuroo said in a low voice and handed him a shot glass full of Firewhiskey. “Cheers.”

He clinked his own glass against Kei’s and they both tipped them back. Immediately, Kei felt the fire go down his throat and fill his body all the way to his fingertips. He tried to swallow a cough, half expecting smoke to come out of his mouth rather than mist, as his eyes watered.

“First time?” Kuroo asked, his mouth curving into a smile. He still hadn’t moved away.

 “Hey, you’re supposed to drink with us!” Bokuto cried, so shockingly loud that Kei and Kuroo jumped apart.

“Koutarou!”

“Oops. Sorry, Keiji,” Bokuto said guiltily, lowering his voice. To Kuroo, he hissed, “Come drink together, you rude tosser.”

“My bad, my bad,” Kuroo laughed, grabbing Kei by the wrist to pull him over to the two Hufflepuffs, who were sitting in the middle of the floor. It was warmer there. The orb of light that floated between them was radiating heat. “Pour us another one.”

“What should we drink to?” Bokuto asked, when he’d refilled their glasses.

“To Ravenclaw winning the Quidditch Cup in the new year,” Kuroo suggested.

“You mean to Hufflepuff!”

“How about to Slytherin not winning the Cup?” Kei said dryly.

It had only been a joke, but Bokuto raised his glass and said with gusto, “Cheers to that!”

“May they come dead last,” Kuroo said solemnly, as they all clinked their glasses together.

The second shot went down easier than the first, though this time the warmth was accompanied by a wave of light-headedness. All his awkwardness from the beginning of the night and his nervousness about being caught drinking by one of the professors didn’t seem to matter much anymore. Instead, he found himself sinking into the easy conversation, snickering behind his hand at Kuroo and Bokuto’s banter.

“It’s almost time,” Akaashi said and turned over his bag to empty its contents between them. Dozens of rather familiar-looking coloured carboard tubes rolled out onto the stone.

“Are these what I think they are?” Kuroo said slowly, as he picked one up to examine it in the light of Akaashi’s floating orb.

“Why don’t they have labels?” Kei asked.

“I made them myself,” Akaashi said simply, as if it was no big deal.

“You made fireworks?” Bokuto said, his voice rising in his excitement. “This is so cool! You’re so awesome, Keiji.”

“Must be nice to have such a laid-back Head of House,” Kuroo said wonderingly.

Kei agreed. Old Professor Ukai would probably get them expelled before he let them set off homemade fireworks on top of the Astronomy Tower, unsupervised, in the middle of the night. New Year’s Eve or not. Then again, Gryffindors were probably more likely beg for forgiveness later than ask permission before, as Akaashi had.

“Well, it was a kind of Charms project,” Akaashi said, checking his watch.

“And Hufflepuff’s the best!” Bokuto cheered happily.

When there were only a couple of minutes left to midnight, they each grabbed a handful of fireworks and went to stand at the parapet. Akaashi touched his wand to a clock-shaped box and it shot out of his hand to count down the seconds high above them in white sparkles. When it reached nought, the sparkles spelled out _HAPPY NEW YEAR!_ in enormous letters across the sky, and they each lit a firework.

Bokuto was whooping and laughing, completely forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet, as the sky lit up with multi-coloured shooting stars, and flower bursts, and a silver dragon that spun like a Catherine Wheel through the sky. Kei supposed it didn’t really matter, now that the fireworks were popping and banging above them. Most likely, everybody was already hanging out the windows of the castle to watch.

When he ran out of fireworks, Kei pushed away from the parapet to go sit against the opposite wall. Craning his neck to look up at the sky was making him feel unsteady on his feet.

He was soon joined by Kuroo, who leaned in close so that he wouldn’t have to shout over the noise to say, “There are still more fireworks, if you want.”

Kei shook his head. “I’m okay. You can go ahead. You don’t have to keep me company.”

“Nah, I want to. Keiji did all this for Koutarou anyway.”

Kuroo was looking fondly at his two Hufflepuff friends as he spoke and Kei followed his gaze. Bokuto was as ecstatic as a child, and Akaashi was smiling in response, as much at his companion as at the fireworks display.

Kei shivered and turned his face to stare up at the sky.

The last firework of the night was a fat yellow tube that Akaashi pulled from his back pocket, which he handed to Bokuto to light. When Bokuto pressed his wand to the base, a golden-yellow owl shot out of it, growing larger and larger the higher it got into the sky, until it exploded into a thousand tiny owls that swooped back down towards the castle and fluttered around them.

“It’s an-” _It’s an amazing bit of magic_ , Kei was about to say. But he cut off abruptly, because in front of him, at that moment, Bokuto reached out to put his hands on Akaashi’s face and pulled him into a kiss.

It wasn’t clumsy with inexperience, or sloppy with alcohol and excitement. It was confident and firm, and it said, _I love you more than anything_.

When Akaashi wrapped his arms around Bokuto and pressed his face into his neck, Kei had to look away. Kuroo was watching him. The tiny owl fireworks were starting to disperse over the castle and out onto the grounds, and with their light fading, it was hard to make out Kuroo’s expression. Kei was glad. It meant his own expression would be difficult to read too, and he didn’t know what kind of face he was making at that moment, or whether he wanted anybody to see it.

He wondered how far the little owls would get before they disappeared.

“Come on,” Kuroo said quietly, after a moment. “It’s almost time to go.”

Kei followed Kuroo down the spiral staircase to the bottom of the tower without saying a word. His legs felt unsteady and uncooperative, and he didn’t think it was because of the alcohol.

It was the first time Kei had ever seen two guys kissing.

When they got to the bottom, Kuroo dropped down onto the second last step.

“We should wait for them.”

Kei leant against the wall. They had both lit their wands to see their way down the stairs, and between the long shadows cast by the light, he could see Kuroo swinging the bottle of Firewhiskey between his fingers as he studied Kei. It was a different kind of look than the ones he’d given him before. Kei shut his eyes.

“Are you surprised?” Kuroo finally asked.

“No. Bokuto seems like exactly the type of person who’d kiss somebody in public.”

“Hmm. You think so?” He sounded sceptical.

It was a lie, and not a lie. Bokuto hadn’t exactly been subtle with his affections all night. And it had occurred to Kei long ago that when that seventh-year Gryffindor mentioned _Kuroo’s gay flying club_ , he hadn’t just been talking about Kuroo.

But it was a lie because, in truth, Kei _hadn’t_ expected them to kiss in front of other people. Maybe in front of Kuroo. They knew him, after all. Trusted him, most likely. But not in front of Kei, who was virtually a stranger.

Were they that trusting? Or just drunk and reckless? There was no way they couldn’t care. Bokuto wanted to be a professional athlete, a very public figure, and the wizarding world was far from tolerant. Anti-Muggleborn sentiment was becoming less popular, but dating a Muggleborn _man_? If something like that got out, it could ruin Bokuto’s fledgling career.

But …

They had looked so happy.

“Do you want to go back to Gryffindor?” Kuroo said after a while, when Kei didn’t respond.

“What’s the alternative?” Kei asked, because even though he’d been practicing his poker face since he was about twelve years old, he felt hot and restless inside. There was no way he’d be able to fall asleep if he went back to his dormitory now. He didn’t want to go.

“We go back to Hufflepuff. Hang out. Drink. Have fun.”

“Let’s do that,” Kei said, opening his eyes.

It was only when Kuroo relaxed with a grin that Kei realised how tense he’d been. He’d made the right choice then. Kuroo wasn’t trying to get rid of him. He wanted him to stay.

Kei pushed away from the wall and sat down next to him on the stairs. He nodded at the bottle in Kuroo’s hands and said, “Looks like you’re almost out.”

“Want to finish it off? We have another bottle.”

When Kei nodded, Kuroo took a long swig, his throat working as he swallowed. Then he handed the bottle over and looked Kei in the eye as he said, “To friends.”

Friends. Right. Was that what they were?

“To friends,” Kei echoed, and drained the bottle.

There was more left than he’d expected and it took several gulps of fire before he finished it off. Immediately he felt flushed with heat, and like he couldn’t contain the restlessness inside him anymore. When he brought the bottle down, Kuroo was _right there_ , and Merlin, Kei wanted to reach out and touch him so badly. He wanted to run his fingers down the smooth-looking skin of his throat that he’d exposed just a minute ago, and chase it with his tongue.

He wanted to say, _I don’t want to be your friend_.

“DID YOU GUYS JUST FINISH ALL THE WHISKEY?”

Bokuto’s voice was so loud coming down the stairs that Kuroo jolted away from Kei so hard he almost hit the back of his head on the railing. He scrambled to his feet, hissing up the stairs for Bokuto to keep his voice down.

“Tsukki’s only fifteen, Tetsu. Stop corrupting him!” Bokuto’s voice reached a slightly more acceptable level as he got to the bottom of the stairs, with Akaashi following behind, trying to shush him.

“I’m sixteen,” Kei said as he got clumsily to his feet. His vision spun, and Kuroo caught his elbow to steady him. “My birthday’s in September.”

“Hey, hey, mine too! High five!”

Kei ignored him, pulling his arm free from Kuroo’s grip. But the alcohol made him charitable enough to sort of understand why somebody as calm and reserved as Akaashi liked Bokuto. His personality dominated the room, but it also meant that he could instantly lighten the mood without making any effort.

Even Kuroo seemed to have got over his surprise enough to grin as he said, “Mate, shut up. You’re going to get us expelled.”

It was probably luck more than anything else that got them back down to the Hufflepuff Basement without incident. Bokuto was still on a high from the fireworks display and they kept having to tell him to be quiet, which Kuroo seemed to find very funny all of a sudden. Meanwhile, it was taking all of Kei’s focus to walk straight and he’d taken hold of Kuroo’s wrist so that he wouldn’t stumble and fall down the stairs.

Once they reached the Hufflepuff common room, Kuroo gave Kei a glass of pumpkin juice, which he drank instead of alcohol when they started playing drinking games. First was a counting game, then Kuroo taught them a card game called Bullshit, but Bokuto was so terrible at both that after a while Akaashi wouldn’t allow him to drink anymore.

So instead, they huddled around the table to pick out the grossest-looking Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans from their Honeydukes stash and got Bokuto to eat those as a forfeit for losing.

He managed the chalk-flavoured bean, as well as salt, but at rotten egg, he jumped up and ran out of the room, presumably either to go brush his teeth or to throw up.

“I’ll go check on him,” Akaashi murmured, while Kei and Kuroo cackled with laughter.

“Think they’re coming back?” Kei asked after several minutes, when neither Hufflepuff had returned. “I’m pretty sure I just found a vomit bean.”

“You’re evil,” Kuroo laughed. “Here. I found one for you.”

Kei tilted his head back slightly as Kuroo raised a red bean to his mouth. They were both sitting on the edge of the couch, leaning forward with their elbows on their knees to reach the table, pressed together from shoulder to thigh. Kei had got used to Kuroo’s casual proximity over the course of the night, had come to expect it, to reach for it even.

The alcohol just gave him the courage to admit it to himself: he wanted more.

“You’ll like it. I promise,” Kuroo said, still smiling.

Kei opened his mouth.

Kuroo pressed the bean onto his tongue, the tips of his thumb and forefinger brushing against Kei’s lips. It tasted like strawberry.

“Good?” Kuroo asked, his voice low and a little rough, his hooded eyes on Kei’s mouth. He wasn’t smiling anymore.

Kei couldn’t look away. He heart was pounding. He nodded and found himself saying without thinking, “Want to taste?”

Kuroo exhaled like he’d been holding his breath, and it smelled of whiskey. And then his hand was on Kei’s jaw and he was leaning forward to crush his lips against Kei’s. And Kei had no idea what he was doing, but his entire body felt like it was trembling apart on the inside as his heart thundered in his chest. His hands curled into Kuroo’s robes, pulling him closer, wanting more, deeper, harder. Kuroo bit his lip in response and Kei let out a noise that made him breathe, “ _Fuck_ , Tsukki,” and push him down onto the couch.

He tugged Kei’s hips further onto the seat with a rough jerk and climbed on top of him, kissing him wet and open-mouthed, both of them breathing harshly. Kei felt dizzy, but he slid his hands around Kuroo’s ribs to dig his blunt fingernails in the back of his robes, urging him closer, not wanting to stop.

But Kuroo did stop, too soon, breaking away to press his forehead on Kei’s shoulder as he panted for breath.

“Have you ever done this before?”

At any other time, Kei might have been offended, assuming that Kuroo was implying that Kei obviously didn’t know what he was doing. But his head was spinning and his hands were shaking, and it was almost impossible to think with Kuroo’s weight on top of him. He didn’t even know what Kuroo meant by ‘this.’ Kissing somebody? Making out with a guy? More? It didn’t matter. The answer was all the same.

“No.”

It was just one syllable, but it came out unsteady. Kei swallowed hard. He wasn’t just trembling on the inside anymore. He could feel it escaping through his arms, and his chest.

Maybe Kuroo could feel it too, because he lifted his head to look Kei in the eye.

“We should stop.”

“Why?” Kei asked, his voice barely more than a breath. It was so bright in here. It must have been past three in the morning, but the Hufflepuff common room was as sunny as a summer’s day and it was starting to hurt Kei’s eyes.

“’Cause you’re drunk.”

“So’re you.”

“Yeah,” Kuroo breathed. He leaned down to brush his lips against Kei’s, feather light, before he dropped to one side, wedging himself between Kei and the back of the couch. Then he clumsily pulled off Kei’s glasses and leaned over him to put them on the table. “Get some sleep.”

For a moment, Kei felt like he was going to fall off the couch, until Kuroo wrapped his arm around him, pulling him closer. He was still trembling.

“S’too yellow in here to sleep,” Kei grumbled. He felt suddenly exhausted, but he was definitely not sober enough to attempt using his wand to turn out the lights.

“Here,” Kuroo said drowsily, turning Kei’s face towards his shoulder and stroking his ear with his thumb before sliding his arm back down to wrap around Kei’s chest.

It wasn’t comfortable at all. The couch would have been bad enough for two normal-sized people, but Kei was a hundred and ninety centimetres tall, and Kuroo not much less. Kei’s legs stuck out over the arm of the couch, and Kuroo’s were tangled around his, and his arm was heavy, but if he let go, Kei probably really would fall onto the floor. One of them should just sleep on the other couch, Kei thought hazily, but he was asleep before he could tell Kuroo to move.

 

* * *

 

It was only a couple of hours later when Kei woke up, cramped and sore and still drunk, with the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team half on top of him. The Hufflepuff common room seemed even brighter than before. Kei extracted himself slowly, not wanting to wake him up, but Kuroo was dead to the world. He didn’t even stir when Kei knocked over an empty bottle of Butterbeer on the table while fumbling for his glasses.

The castle was still dark when Kei walked upstairs in a haze, his head too fuzzy to even think of lighting his wand. When he reached the seventh floor, without really remembering how he’d got there, the Fat Lady was in about the same state as he was - she’d been drinking with her friend Violet again - and she let Kei in without even a scolding for waking her up.

Kei didn't go back to the library, and he avoided Kuroo's eye for the rest of the holiday.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter: the lion gets some courage. eventually.


	4. Match Three: Ravenclaw versus Slytherin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kei is provoked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a line in this chapter that started the entire fic. It was inspired by a doujin by Micromacro. If you've read it, you'll probably know which one.

For the entire first week back at school, Kei was tasked with babysitting the first years spending their break time indoors due to the cold. He had a suspicion that seventh-year prefect Suga was punishing him for letting the team get away with drinking at school over New Year’s - he didn’t doubt for a second that Suga had found out about it. And Suga knew exactly how much Kei loathed first years.

“Tsukishima! Tsukishima!”

Kei grit his teeth. He marked his place in _Hexes for the Vexed_ and raised an eyebrow at the pint-sized Hufflepuff looking up at him.

“What?”

“Kameko Kyoutani hit me!”

Kei glanced at the offending Slytherin girl, then back at the tattling boy standing in front of him. There was no blood. He wasn’t even crying.

“So what?”

“Aren’t you going to give her detention?”

As much as Kei would enjoy making small children suffer, if he handed out detentions he’d have to supervise them too. He had better things to do. And prefects couldn’t take points from other Houses.

“No. Go away.”

It could have been worse, he supposed. None of the team seemed to have even noticed Kei’s absence over New Year’s. He’d had the forethought to draw the hangings around his bed before he left, so that nobody would be able to see that he wasn’t there if they came into the fifth-year dormitory.

Shouyou had actually asked him if Kei had slept through the surprise fireworks display. He’d been tempted to reveal that he’d been the one setting off fireworks, just to see the look on Shouyou’s face. But of course, that would have raised questions Kei had no interest in answering, so he said nothing at all.

It wasn’t ten minutes after the little boy had left him alone before another Hufflepuff shouted his name across the courtyard.

“Hey, hey! Tsukki!”

Kei stood up straighter, glaring at the first years. If any of them even _thought_ of repeating that nickname, he’d have them vomiting slugs. But the younger students were all staring in awe at the brawny Hufflepuff Quidditch captain as he passed them to get to Kei, smiling and waving at students from his House.

“How was the rest of your holiday?” Bokuto asked cheerfully.

“Fine, thank you,” Kei answered politely. He was acutely aware that half of the first years were listening intently to their conversation. Over Bokuto’s shoulder, he could see two other Hufflepuff seventh years waiting for their friend under the covered walkway that ran along the courtyard. What had Bokuto told them about Kei? Did they know that Kei had practiced together with their captain? “And yours?”

“It was great! Are you going to come play with us on Saturday?”

So Kuroo probably hadn’t said anything to him or Akaashi, then.

“I don’t think so,” Kei said. “It’s too cold to fly.”

He hadn’t so much as made eye contact with Kuroo since New Year’s. He had been paranoid at every meal after he started avoiding the library that Kuroo might approach him at the Gryffindor table, as he had once before. But why would he? There was nothing to say. It had just been a drunken mistake. It didn’t mean anything.

“It’s not that bad,” Bokuto said, as if he wasn’t pink-nosed with cold and bundled up in a scarf and hat.

“I’d really rather not.”

“Oh. Okay. I get it.” To Kei’s surprise, Bokuto’s shoulders slumped. He actually looked disappointed. “I guess you’re busy, so I’m gonna go. Bye, Tsukishima.”

Kei watched him leave with an odd, uncomfortable feeling in his chest, until he was distracted by the boy who had tattled asking loudly, “Tsukishima, are you friends with Koutarou Bokuto?”

“Go away before I give _you_ detention.”

 

* * *

 

Kei had thought that it would be easier once all the other students returned from home, and the castle filled with noise and distractions, but in a way it was worse.

When there was nobody else there, having Kuroo’s attention didn’t seem like such an impossible thing. But Kuroo had a lot of friends. He was always surrounded by his teammates, or other seventh-year classmates, laughing and joking and at ease in a crowd.

But Kei wasn’t like that at all. He could barely tolerate his own teammates, and besides Tadashi, he didn’t really have any friends at all. And he was _fine_ with that. He was unkind, and unsociable, and he didn’t need other people. He didn’t want them.

Seeing Kuroo surrounded by his friends just made Kei aware of how large the gap between them was. A gap he’d been an idiot to try to breach.

Kei had never reached out for another person that wasn’t family in his life. So he couldn’t stop thinking of the way he’d behaved when he was drunk. Leaning into Kuroo for warmth. Holding onto his wrist on the stairs so he wouldn’t fall. It was all just an excuse to be closer to him. And then, worse, asking Kuroo to kiss him. Arguing with him when Kuroo wanted to stop.

Kei prided himself on his self-control. To lose it so completely was humiliating.

Kuroo was friendly to Kei because he was a friendly guy. He’d flirted with Kei because he liked to tease. After all, he teased Bokuto all the time too, and there was obviously no deeper significance there. It didn’t mean anything. Kuroo had said it himself, the first time they were alone on New Year’s, when Kei had wanted to touch him so badly: _To friends_. He didn’t see Kei as anything more than a friend.

And yet … a small, pathetic voice inside him couldn’t forget that _yes_ , Kei had asked for it, and _yes_ , Kuroo had pulled away in the end, but still: _Kuroo_ had kissed _him_.

But they’d been drunk. Kei had done things he never would have sober, so of course Kuroo might too. If anything, he’d probably just gone along with it to humour Kei - this stupid, desperate kid who felt so out of place with his _own teammates_ that he’d rather hang out with a bunch of people he barely knew.

_Pathetic._

 

* * *

 

Saturday came and passed, marking the end of Kei’s strange affiliation with Kuroo’s weekend flying club. Or so Kei thought, until Akaashi found him in the library on Sunday.

“Hello, Kei,” the Hufflepuff said, his voice low enough to not attract any attention from the students at the other tables nearby. “Do you mind if I sit?”

“Please,” Kei said, and gestured at the chair across from him, trying not to let his wariness show. He couldn’t read Akaashi’s expression at all.

But Akaashi didn’t waste any time with small talk. As soon as he’d settled in his seat, with his hands folded on the table in front of him, he said, “Koutarou thinks you hate us.”

Kei blinked. He dropped his eyes to his parchment, where he’d been taking notes on poison antidotes for a Potions assignment.

“Why would he think that?”

“You tell me,” Akaashi replied evenly.

Kei thought of Bokuto and Akaashi kissing on top of the Astronomy Tower. He remembered the way Akaashi had looked at Bokuto, and how affectionate Bokuto had been all night. They were never like that in public. Even after having seen them that way himself, Kei found it hard to imagine that the reserved Akaashi allowed anybody that close to him, let alone his Quidditch captain.

But all that had nothing to do with Kei.

“Why do you guys even want me to practice with you?” Kei asked. Once the words were out of his mouth, they sounded needy to his ears. Like he was looking for personal validation, or something idiotic like that. Quickly, he added, “We’re playing against you in March. You’ve already played Ravenclaw, so it doesn’t matter with Kuroo, but aren’t you giving me an advantage by letting me get used to your attacks?”

“We’re getting used to your Keeping too,” Akaashi pointed out.

“Please. We both know that I’m not a challenge for Bokuto.”

“You weren’t in November. But you’re improving.”

Even though he’d said it first himself, Kei still felt a twinge of irritation at Akaashi’s bluntness. After all, Bokuto was the one who wanted to play against Kei’s average Keeping. Kei had never asked to join them.

“You still don’t need two Keepers.”

“We don’t always just practice drills, you know,” Akaashi said. “Sometimes we just play for fun. We need at least four people for a game.”

“Why don’t you ask somebody in your own Houses?”

“Probably for a similar reason that you spent New Year’s with us instead of with your team.”

Kei’s first thought was of Kuroo on top of him on the couch as they kissed. He still wasn’t even sure if Kuroo had told the Hufflepuffs what had happened. But he knew Akaashi had seen the way Kei looked at Kuroo, and he’d have had to be blind drunk to not notice how Kei had been all over Kuroo the entire night.

But he hadn’t accepted the invitation on New Year’s Eve for that, Kei told himself. He’d gone because he’d been sick of being surrounded by his team all the time. That was all.

Still, he wasn’t sure which reason Akaashi was implying. Thinking back on how good he’d been at chess, the answer was probably ‘both.’

Five of the seven Hufflepuff Quidditch team members were seventh years. Bokuto probably spent as much time with them as Kei was forced to with Shouyou and Tobio. If Bokuto didn’t get sick of living, eating, studying and training with the same people, they must surely get tired of dealing with his exuberance sometimes.

But also … if Bokuto and Akaashi were together, in the way they had seemed to be on New Year’s Eve, then maybe they wanted a space where they didn’t have to hide. It was obvious that Kuroo had already known. He hadn’t been surprised at all. But Kei still didn’t understand why they had been so open in front of him, unless … Unless they already knew that he was … in no position to judge them.

The thought alone made Kei feel paranoid. He wasn’t trying to hide, exactly. Unlike Bokuto, he had no aspirations of a public career. It didn’t matter what people thought of him and he wasn’t ashamed of himself.

And yet -

He hated the idea of people being able to read him so easily. He told himself that it didn’t matter, but the truth was that Kei didn’t want people talking about him and forming baseless opinions. He resented the idea of people knowing something about him that had nothing to do with them.

But if Akaashi already knew the truth about Kei, then he’d never treated him any differently for it. Kei doubted that Akaashi cared one way or the other about him. He was only here because of Bokuto. Because Bokuto thought Kei hated them. Because Kei had seen them kiss.

Because Bokuto thought Kei had formed baseless opinions about them.

“I told Bokuto. It’s too cold to fly in January,” Kei said stubbornly. If he backtracked on his previous excuse now, it would just look even more like he’d been lying.

“If you decide to join us next Saturday, I’ll teach you a good warming charm,” Akaashi said calmly, and got up from his seat. “I’ll let you get back to your studies.”

 

* * *

 

After that, it would have seemed childish not to go.

Remembering the last time he’d come for a Saturday night practice, only to find himself alone with Kuroo, Kei made sure to leave the castle as late as possible to avoid any chance of a similar situation. To his relief, all three of the others were already in the air, tossing the Quaffle back and forth, when Kei arrived at the Quidditch pitch some time after dinner.

“You came!” Bokuto shouted, and did a loop the loop on his broom as Kei flew up to join them.

Akaashi nodded a greeting, looking entirely unsurprised to see him. Kei didn’t allow himself to look at Kuroo long enough to catch his expression.

“Let’s play a game!” Bokuto said. “Chasers versus Keepers.”

“That seems a bit unfair,” Kei started, but at the same time Kuroo said, “You’re on, Hufflepuff!”

Just as Kei had expected, it felt much like playing a game of Piggy in the Middle. The two Hufflepuffs were so used to working as a team that it was like they could read each other’s minds. Their passes were super fast and super slick. On the other hand, Kei and Kuroo had never played as a team, and it showed. They chased futilely after the Hufflepuffs and were so uncoordinated that even when they managed to intercept the Quaffle, their lack of communication had them immediately losing it again.

“Time out,” Kuroo called, after the Chasers had scored for the sixth time in a row. “Tsukki and I need a team meeting.”

He flew up beside Kei so that they wouldn’t be overheard, close enough that their knees knocked, and grabbed the handle of Kei’s broom to keep them together.

“You’ve been working on your speed,” Kuroo said lowly. “I’m impressed.”

Kei said nothing, distracted by the couple of centimetres of wood between their fingers on the handle of his broomstick.

“I think you’ll be able to keep up with Koutarou on that Moonbeam,” Kuroo continued, as if he couldn’t feel Kei’s awkwardness at all. “So you focus on marking him. Just keep cutting him off, and he’ll start to get frustrated.”

Kei lifted his eyes, allowing himself to study the Ravenclaw captain as he kept on outlining their strategy. With his hooded gaze and Cheshire cat smile, at first glance he appeared as detached as Kei, but he was surprisingly earnest. Kei would never admit it, but it was sort of charming.

Of course, they still lost. But at least with their improved teamwork, the defeat was only a little annoying, instead of completely humiliating.

Akaashi did end up teaching Kei the warming spell he’d promised, and it worked so well that by the end of the game they were all red-faced and sweating, despite the icy bite of the January air. When they were all exhausted, Bokuto dropped onto his back on the frozen Quidditch pitch, and the rest of them sat down with him to cool down.

“I wish I could fly forever,” Bokuto said, staring up at the stars. “I want to stay in the sky, and never come down.”

Akaashi stroked Bokuto’s hair, not seeming to mind the gel and the sweat under his fingers. It was only the second time that Kei had seen them being affectionate, and somehow it seemed just as intimate as their kiss on the Astronomy Tower. It made Kei feel suddenly self-conscious of Kuroo, sitting between him and the Hufflepuffs, in a way that he’d forgotten to be since they had started working as a team.

For a short while there was quiet as they caught their breaths and let their sore muscles rest, while the winter air cooled their skins. But soon Bokuto grew restless, jumping to his feet and eager to play another game.

“It’s almost curfew,” Akaashi said, leaning tiredly on his broomstick.

“There’s still time,” Bokuto argued. “Just a short match.”

Kei found himself torn between amusement and exasperation at his stamina. He doubted he’d be able to hold onto his broom if he flew anymore himself, and the Hufflepuffs had been in the air for far longer. They’d had their team practice that afternoon, and hadn’t left the pitch since lunch time. Surely by now they were flying on fumes. But when he glanced at Kuroo, he found him watching the Hufflepuff shrewdly, with no trace of his usual humour.

Eventually, Akaashi managed to convince Bokuto to head back with them, and they all walked up to the castle together. But even after they left the two Hufflepuffs in the Entrance Hall, Kuroo remained quiet and thoughtful as he and Kei continued up the stairs.

“I don’t envy Bokuto’s teammates,” Kei said eventually, just to fill the odd silence. He wasn’t sure why Kuroo seemed concerned. The Gryffindor team seemed equally as enthusiastic about Quidditch as Bokuto, though at least they mostly left Kei to his own devices. Bokuto always expected everybody around him to join in too.

The words broke Kuroo out of his daze.

“Hm? Yeah, I guess. He can get a bit intense sometimes. He’s going to end up in the hospital wing again at this rate.” He seemed to realise he’d said too much, because he quickly brushed it off with: “But I think he’s just stressed out. NEWTs are the worst. Just you wait.”

“I’m doing my OWLs this year,” Kei reminded him, perfectly willing to change the subject. He wasn’t interested in other people’s affairs.

Kuroo laughed, shaking his head. “If you think that’s bad …”

They chatted about the fifth-year OWL exams, which would determine which subjects Kei could continue with in his sixth year, and the increased difficulty of the aptly named Nastily Exhausting Wizarding Tests he’d have to face in seventh year, until they reached at the fifth floor.

“I’m glad you came tonight,” Kuroo said, when they stopped to bid each other good night before going their separate ways. “I wasn’t sure I’d see you again.”

“I see you in the Great Hall three times a day,” Kei pointed out, realising too late that he’d as good as admitted that he looked for Kuroo at meal times.

Kuroo smirked, like he knew exactly what Kei was thinking, but all he said was, “It’s not really the same.”

“I suppose,” Kei said. “At least the Great Hall is warm.”

He still had trouble believing that he’d actually been talked into going outside to fly when the temperature was below zero.

“I had fun, though.”

Kei had grown so used to Kuroo’s near-constant teasing that he was thrown off by the simple sincerity of these words. So instead of his usual offhand, snide remark, all he could think of to say was an awkward, “It was alright.”

Kuroo just looked at him for a moment, his eyes hooded, before he said, “Good night, Kei.”

Usually, this was the part where Kuroo turned and walked away, and Kei continued climbing up the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower. But this time, Kuroo didn’t move. He just stood there, watching Kei like he was waiting for him to say something, or do something.

Something about it made Kei’s gut twist, not unpleasantly. Maybe it was because Kuroo had just called him by his first name. It shouldn’t have been strange, really. Most of the people who knew him called him Kei. But he wasn’t used to hearing it from Kuroo.

Or maybe it was because he didn’t know what Kuroo was waiting for, and his mind was jumping to impossible conclusions.

He wanted Kuroo to kiss him again.

Kei had been embarrassed of the way he’d acted when he was drunk, but this was different. He was sober now. Rational. He didn’t have to be afraid of being out of control. He actually found himself wishing for a little bit of the recklessness Firewhiskey had given him. He wished he had the experience to know what do in this kind of situation, instead of blushing like the complete virgin that he was. He wished he had the courage to overcome his fear of reading Kuroo entirely wrongly and embarrassing himself.

He wished he had the confidence to kiss Kuroo himself.

But instead he just said, “Good night,” and turned away.

 

* * *

 

If he had known how long it would be before he’d see Kuroo again, he might have actually kissed him when he had the chance, consequences be damned. But as it turned out, none of them had the time to meet again. Ravenclaw upped their practices in preparation for the match against Slytherin in February, and on top of that, all the older students were overloaded with homework. Even Shouyou and Tobio had been forced to stop sneaking off to the pitch at odd hours, after Suga threatened them with detention if they didn’t study more.

But the real clincher came one afternoon when Akaashi found Kei and told him, “Sorry, Kei. It turns out Koutarou hasn’t been handing in _any_ of his homework since the Christmas holiday. Now he’s got detention for the next month and he’s so far behind that we barely have time for regular practice with the team.”

It was the first time Kei had seen Akaashi look so frustrated.

So January bled into February in a blur of school work and Quidditch practice, with only the brief irritation of Valentine’s Day to mark the change.

The thing about not being very talkative or demonstrative was that people often made their own assumptions about what sort of person you were, without actually knowing anything about you. They filled in the blanks with what they wanted to see. And when you were tall, polite and intelligent, people tended to assume good things.

Ordinarily, this worked out in Kei’s favour. But around Valentine’s Day, when everybody suddenly became obsessed with love and dating, it always started to get annoying.

“Hey, Kei. What kind of girls do you like?” Tadashi asked one evening, as they practiced Vanishing Spells on a box of rats in the common room.

“Why are you asking me that now?” Kei asked, scowling at the rat he’d been trying to Vanish. Tadashi had broken his concentration and instead of disappearing, the rat had just turned curiously pale, like a ghost.

“I don’t know. Just …” Tadashi shrugged, playing with his wand. “You never talk about stuff like that, and girls have been asking me about you and I don’t know what to say.”

“Why are they asking you?”

“Because they say you’re intimidating, and we’re best friends, so I should know stuff like this about you. It’s embarrassing when I don’t know what to say.”

“I like people who are shorter than me,” Kei said, turning his attention back to the rats. He hated conversations like this the most.

“That’s … everybody.”

“I’m pretty sure Lev Haiba is taller than me, actually.”

“C’mon. Seriously.”

“I like people who aren’t intimidated by me,” Kei said shortly, and accidentally-on-purpose Vanished the box instead of the rats. Immediately, they escaped across the floor in all directions, sending half the supposedly courageous Gryffindors shrieking, and distracting Tadashi from asking any questions Kei couldn’t answer.

 

* * *

 

It wasn’t until the week after Valentine’s, the day of the Ravenclaw-Slytherin game, that Kei spoke to Kuroo again - five weeks since their last meeting (and seven and a half since they had kissed, but who was counting?). Outside of mealtimes, Kei barely even caught a glimpse of him. Their classes never seemed to be in the same parts of the castle, and for a supposedly studious Ravenclaw, Kuroo was never in the library.

On the rare occasion that they did see each other, across the Great Hall at dinner, or passing by in a corridor, Kuroo would shoot him a smile. But of course, with other people around, Kei could hardly be expected to stop and talk, and he was quite sure that this time it truly was the end of their acquaintanceship.

So Kei was thrown completely off guard when he heard his name being called down the fifth-floor corridor not long after the Quidditch match.

“Tsukishima,” Kuroo said again, grinning widely as he drew near the stairway. He was unsurprisingly in a good mood, as his team had just won their second match, placing them as the strongest contender for the Quidditch Cup. “Fancy meeting you here.”

“It’s almost like we both live here,” Kei said dryly. “I’d have thought you’d be celebrating with your team.”

“We are, we are, but I sent Sou and Lev down to the kitchen to get us some party food and they haven’t come back. Where are you heading?”

He’d been on his way up to Gryffindor Tower, after delivering a first year to the hospital wing. But at that question, he realised that he’d turned automatically to walk downstairs with Kuroo as they spoke. He would look like an idiot if he turned back now, so he lied, “The library.”

“Hmm, really?” Kuroo said, giving Kei a contemplative look. He couldn’t have missed the fact that Kei had been heading in the opposite direction when he stopped him. Kei wasn’t even carrying a bag for studying. But instead of teasing him, Kuroo asked, “Did you watch the game?

“I think the entire school goes to watch when Tooru Oikawa is playing,” Kei said, just to be annoying.

Ryuu and Yuu had been gnashing their teeth at all the attention the Slytherin captain got from the girls in the stands. Even girls from Gryffindor, who were supposed to consider Slytherin their mortal enemies, had been shrieking over Oikawa’s supposed charm and good looks.

“Oh? I didn’t think he’d be your type,” Kuroo teased.

“Annoying Quidditch captains? No, not really.”

Kuroo just grinned. “Did you see all my brilliant saves?”

Kei was tempted to point out that Slytherin had actually been thirty points ahead, and that if Ravenclaw hadn’t caught the Snitch, earning them an additional hundred and fifty points and ending the game, they wouldn’t have won. But remembering his own team’s joke of a match against Slytherin, and Kei’s abysmal Keeping against Oikawa, he decided to refrain.

Instead he just said, “You were alright.”

He expected to get a rise with that, or at least some kind of argument, but Kuroo’s expression turned unexpectedly predatory as he said, “So you _were_ watching me.”

“Why would I be doing that?”

Kuroo stopped abruptly and for a moment Kei thought he’d finally managed to annoy the Ravenclaw. But Kuroo was still smirking when he took a step closer.

“What?” Kei asked, feeling defensive.

“The library’s that way,” Kuroo said, gesturing back towards a corridor they had just passed. “Weren’t you going to study?”

“I thought I’d get a snack before I start,” Kei said smoothly, though he never ate between meals. He’d never actually been to the kitchen before. He wasn’t even sure where the entrance was.

He knew he was being obvious, but between his upcoming game against Hufflepuff, the Easter holiday, and then the major exams for both the fifth and seventh years, he didn’t know if their Saturday practices would ever be happening again. And if the last month was anything to go by, then the chances of running into each other like this again were highly unlikely.

Besides, he didn’t think that Kuroo actually wanted him to leave. He was pretty sure Kuroo was flirting with him.

“You don’t mind, do you?” Kei added with a polite smile. If he was wrong, then Kuroo’s response would let him know.

But it seemed that Kuroo had reached his limit on subtlety. He took a step forward, and then another as Kei stepped back on reflex.

“You know,” Kuroo said, his voice low, “Whenever I see that cool expression on your face, it makes me want to provoke you.”

“What - ?” Kei cut off as his back hit the wall between two suits of armour.

“I like how red and flustered you get when I embarrass you, or make you angry.”

“So the captain of the Ravenclaw team and a seventh year is admitting that he’s a bully. Aren’t _you_ embarrassed?” Kei returned, trying to keep his voice cool. He was determined not to let Kuroo get a rise out of him, not when he’d just _said_ that that was what he wanted, but Kei couldn’t stop his heart pounding in his chest.

“But most of all,” Kuroo continued, putting his hands on the wall on either side of Kei’s head, “I like how flustered you get when you’re turned on. I want to see you make that face again when you’re sober.”

It was the first time that he’d clearly alluded to New Year’s, and it sent a wave of fire under Kei’s skin that had nothing to do with shame. He felt everything that Kuroo had said he wanted. Embarrassed for being called out on his emotions. Angry at being played so easily. And most of all, turned on by having Kuroo crowd him against the wall, with an expression on his face like he was inviting Kei to react.

Except, Kei was wound so tightly that he couldn’t move. He couldn’t think. He could barely breathe.

Whatever he did now, he couldn’t blame it on alcohol.

Kuroo leaned in, and for a moment Kei thought he was going to be kissed, but then Kuroo’s mouth was at his ear, and he said, “I thought Gryffindors were supposed to be brave.”

Kei felt as if he’d been snapped out of a spell. He shoved Kuroo away, with more force than necessary, and saw a flash of something like frustration on his face as he was pushed away.

“Not here,” Kei said, and had to pause to clear his throat. “Anybody could walk past.”

Kuroo’s eyebrows twitched in surprise, but all he said was, “What do you want to do?”

Pushing himself away from the wall, Kei walked past Kuroo to look down the corridor. They were on the third floor. The Trophy Room wasn’t far, but it was too big, too open. There was a storage closet nearby too, but the thought of standing between mops and buckets and the smell of cleaning products wasn’t exactly appealing. Instead, he led the way to a disused Charms classroom, and hoped that Kuroo didn’t notice that his wand was shaking a little when he took it out to cast an unlocking spell.

Once they were inside, Kuroo closed the door behind him and leaned against it, apparently determined to stick to his game of provoking Kei into action. And that was fine. Kei wasn’t going to back down now. Even if he didn’t know what he was doing. He’d been drunk the last time, and he hadn’t been particularly concerned with the technical aspects of how to do this.

Trying to hide his nerves, Kei moved closer, until his robes were brushing against Kuroo’s Quidditch uniform. He kept his hands at his sides, afraid that if he touched Kuroo, he’d be able to feel his fingers trembling.

They were only centimetres apart, and still Kuroo didn’t move, just watched with his eyes half-lidded. At least he wasn’t smirking anymore. But if he didn’t do something soon, Kei was going to make a complete idiot of himself.

But when Kei tilted his head and pressed his lips tentatively against Kuroo’s, Kuroo lifted his hand to the back of Kei’s neck and kissed him back.

It was nothing like kissing drunk. New Year’s had been clumsy and hazy with alcohol. This felt more like a first kiss than that had. Kei was overly aware of himself now, stiff and conscious of his inexperience as he tried to mirror the movements of Kuroo’s mouth.

But it was also so much better than he’d expected. Kuroo’s lips were soft and warm and slow against his, and Kei found himself relaxing into his touch. Kuroo’s fingers curled into the short hair at the nape of Kei’s neck, while his other hand found Kei’s hip and pulled him closer. Every touch sent a shiver of energy to his core, like Kei’s entire body was electrified and he raised his hands to touch Kuroo for more, forgetting to be nervous. It was hard to think much at all.

When Kuroo swept his tongue across Kei’s bottom lip and coaxed his mouth open, Kei almost shuddered. The kiss deepened and grew more heated, Kuroo’s fingers tightening in Kei’s hair, his other arm wrapping around Kei’s middle to pull their hips together.

They were both breathing fast when Kuroo broke the kiss and lowered his mouth to Kei’s neck and, _fuck_ , that sent a bolt of heat straight to Kei’s groin. An involuntary noise escaped from his parted lips as Kuroo bit down, and then licked over the same spot, but it felt so good that it didn’t even occur to him to feel embarrassed about it. He wondered vaguely if Kuroo could feel his racing pulse under his tongue.

When Kuroo repeated the action, Kei’s hands flew up to his chest and pushed to create some space between them. Kuroo’s grip loosened, but didn’t fall away, and he said breathlessly, “Sorry. I won’t leave a mark.”

For a moment, Kei didn’t even know what he was talking about. His head was spinning too much to think clearly, and it had felt too good to worry about Kuroo leaving a trace of their encounter for anyone to see. He’d been more concerned with Kuroo feeling him getting hard against him.

“You should get back to your team,” Kei said, and he was pleased with how steady his voice came out. “They’ll be waiting for you.”

“Ah - yeah. Right,” Kuroo said, like he’d completely forgotten that the Ravenclaws were in the middle of celebrating their victory.

A rush of something like pride ran through Kei. _He did that_. For all Kuroo’s talk of provoking Kei, he was breathless, flushed and distracted, like he’d been just as much affected himself.

Kuroo dropped his arms and Kei stepped away before he kissed Kuroo again.

“You want to head down to the kitchens?” Kuroo asked.

“No, thanks,” Kei said, reigning in all his cool as he smoothed down the front of his robes like he could brush away the feel of Kuroo’s body against him. His skin still felt hot and sensitive, and his heart was beating too fast, but outwardly, at least, he could feign calm. “I’ll go ahead and leave first.”

“I thought you wanted a snack?” Kuroo said, his smirk back in place, not moving from in front of the door.

This time, Kei returned a smile of his own. Kuroo wasn’t the only one who knew how to tease. Kei knew that he would be graduating in four months. This was all just a game to amuse himself in the meantime. A game of provocation. The goal? Don’t let yourself be more affected than your opponent. Kei might not know much about kissing, but this was the sort of game that he was very good at.

“I already got what I wanted. Do you mind? You’re blocking the door.”

Kuroo’s hand went to the doorknob, but he didn’t turn it yet. Instead he said, “You’re not going to run away again, are you?”

Kei raised his eyebrows. “We live in the same castle. I’m sure you can find me if you need something.”

Kuroo’s smirk widened. He stepped forward to cup Kei’s jaw with both hands and pulled him into another kiss, firm and hot and lingering. Only once they were both breathless again did he pull away, just far enough to say against his lips, “In that case, I’ll see you again soon.”

Then he let go and swung the door open, standing aside to let Kei through. Kei left feeling pretty sure that he had just lost this round, but he didn’t even know if he cared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: (for if you’ve read The Perfect Slytherin. If not, spoiler) The Ravenclaw and Slytherin captains end up making out at the same time. So … everybody wins?
> 
> Next chapter: Tsukki shows off what he's learnt when Gryffindor faces Hufflepuff, and this fic starts earning its M rating.


	5. Match Four: Gryffindor versus Hufflepuff

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Yamaguchi Tadashi is the voice of reason. Again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: this chapter contains a sports injury, sex and a little bit of ignorance about bisexuality (which is immediately addressed). And I stole from canon again, because Haikyuu canon is the greatest.
> 
> Also, it's not super important, but in case you're confused, I followed the HP books, not the movies, so the robes are more like a cassock with underwear underneath. The students aren’t wearing a full Muggle uniform like in the movies.

The first time, Kei could blame it on alcohol. The second time, on the high of Ravenclaw’s victory against Slytherin. But the third time? Or the fourth? The fifth? Kei couldn’t figure out why Tetsurou Kuroo would want to kiss him.

But when Kei got up from dinner, he saw Kuroo excuse himself quickly from the Ravenclaw table and follow him. So Kei detoured down an abandoned corridor, and allowed Kuroo to pull him into an empty classroom without a word.

Because in the end it didn’t really matter. Kuroo was going to graduate in four months, and then they’d have no cause to ever cross paths again. Whatever they did now was meaningless.

 _Except,_ he thought, as Kuroo shoved him against the closed door and pressed their mouths together, _just two months ago, I couldn’t have done this_.

He’d felt too inexperienced and awkward to try to kiss Kuroo back when they said good night after playing Quidditch together for the last time. In retrospect, he thought that Kuroo would have let him, if he’d had the courage to make the first move. He thought that maybe Kuroo had been waiting for him to.

He felt his inexperience when Kuroo’s kisses made him hard, and he didn’t know whether he should pull away and calm down before Kuroo noticed. He felt it when he wanted to reach out and touch Kuroo, to shove his hand beneath his robes, and he didn’t know if it would make him look overeager. He felt it when Kuroo ground against him and he had to swallow a groan, because he didn’t want to sound stupid. He didn’t want to look desperate. He didn’t want to feel uncool.

There were no books in the school library about this.

But when Kuroo unbuttoned his robes and slid his hand into his pants, Kei thought, _okay, that’s how you do this_. And when Kei didn’t quite manage to stifle a moan as Kuroo’s fingers wrapped around him, and Kuroo breathed onto his neck in response, “ _Fuck_ , yeah. Lemme hear you,” Kei thought, _okay. This is okay. I’m okay._

He didn’t want to feel like such an idiot again. And who knew when he’d get another chance like this? He didn’t even know if there were any other boys like him in the school, much less how to find them.

He tried not to think too carefuly about _why_ , but when Kei came, he couldn’t imagine doing this with anyone but Kuroo anyway. With his forehead pressed against Kuroo’s shoulder, Kei watched his own hand work on him, felt his hot breath stutter against Kei’s ear, and his hips jerk as he followed Kei over the edge.

And when Kuroo tugged on his hair to pull Kei’s face back to draw him into a kiss that was more panting into each other’s mouths than anything else, Kei figured that he might as well enjoy this while he could.

Just for a little while.

“Our robes are going to get dirty,” Kei finally said, pushing Kuroo away with the hand not sticky with come.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said, with a grin that wasn’t sorry at all.

As they spelled themselves clean, and did up their robes, Kei began to feel the awkwardness set in. He wondered whether he should just leave, now that they were finished. But Kuroo hopped up to sit on a desk, so Kei stayed where he was, in front of the door. He hooked his fingers together for something to do with his hands, and tried not to fidget. It was difficult, knowing where his hands had just been.

“You ready for the match against Hufflepuff tomorrow?” Kuroo asked, as lazy as a cat, like he had nothing to worry about, and nowhere else to be.

Kei envied his self-confidence.

“I suppose.”

“Koutarou’s really stressed about it,” Kuroo continued conversationally. “He’s got this idea in his head that if he doesn’t win the Quidditch Cup, he won’t get picked for a team in the League next year. And he’s got everything riding on this. He’s pretty much blown his academics.”

Kei raised an eyebrow. “Are you asking me to go easy on him?”

“No, no. He’d hate that.” Kuroo laughed. “I’m just saying. Don’t expect him to go easy on you either.”

“I don’t think Bokuto would even know how to do that.”

“You scared?”

“Hardly.”

For a moment, Kei thought of asking Kuroo who he would be supporting in the match. As Gryffindor’s Keeper, Kei would be facing off against the Hufflepuff captain directly. But the answer was obvious. Kuroo and Bokuto were friends, real friends, and had been for much longer than he and Kei had been … whatever they were.

Friends with benefits. Without even the friendship, really.

“I should go,” Kei said.

Tadashi would be wondering where he was. It was getting troublesome, having to think of excuses for his absences.

“Oh. Already?” An expression passed over Kuroo’s face that Kei didn’t understand, but then it was gone, and Kuroo was on his feet. “Good luck for the game tomorrow.”

“Thanks,” Kei said over his shoulder as he left, and shut the door behind him.

 

* * *

 

Above them, the crowd was roaring. The Gryffindor team all looked unusually stony-faced as they lined up to face the Hufflepuffs, except for Ryuu, who pulled faces as the two captains shook hands. Bokuto had shouted “Let the best man win!” across the Great Hall that morning over breakfast, and Ryuu seemed to have taken it as some sort of taunt.

“Mount your brooms,” said Madam Naoi, the referee. “On the whistle. Three. Two. One.”

The whistle blew and they all kicked off into the air.

“ _Today’s match is an important one for both teams, folks. Both Hufflepuff and Gryffindor lost their first matches, so whoever loses here today is out of the running for the Quidditch Cup_.”

Kei tried not to listen to the commentator too carefully as he got into position in front of the goalposts. Sixth-year Yuuji Terushima always liked to get a rise out of the stands, and the players on the pitch, by poking fun at the teams. Since he was a Hufflepuff, Gryffindor would be his main target today.

“ _And Kageyama takes the Quaffle. After their humiliating defeat against Slytherin in November, he’s eager to prove himself again. Kageyama has been called the next Tooru Oikawa, but his selfish playing has made him a liability to the team in the past._ ”

With the Quaffle heading toward the other end of the pitch, Kei took the time to analyse their opponents as Gryffindor made their first attack. He already knew without seeing it that Tobio was going to do the freakishly quick assisted strike with Shouyou that they’d figured out over the Christmas holiday.

“ _Merlin’s pants, what was that? What an amazing quick pass! Nobody could have seen that coming!_ ”

But the Hufflepuff team didn’t pause to be surprised. Almost immediately, the three Hufflepuff Chasers zoomed across the field for a counterattack. Kei tightened his grip on his broom.

“ _Tsukishima’s riding the newly released Moonbeam, which is already being called the best broom for Keepers in the international leagues. But it was completely wasted on Tsukishima during their last match_.”

Kei wasn’t listening. All his attention was focused on the Quaffle as Bokuto and Akaashi passed it back and forth, too fast for the Gryffindor Chasers to intercept. Kei tensed, waiting until the last possible second to throw himself to block either the left or the right hoop. But he knew Akaashi seldom scored himself, so -

“ _Aaaaaaand looks like nothing’s changed!_ ”

Kei had read the shot correctly, but he was too slow. He missed the Quaffle by centimetres as Bokuto nailed it through the left hoop with enough force to tear out a chunk of grass as it hit the ground.

“Don’t mind ‘em, Kei!” Daichi called, knocking a Bludger at Bokuto as Kei threw the Quaffle back into play.

But Kei could see the Gryffindor team grow more and more tense as the match continued. Despite their best efforts, Hufflepuff was dominating possession of the Quaffle. It didn’t matter how hard the Gryffindors had been training, because the Hufflepuff team had worked just as hard. They wanted to win just as badly. Even with Daichi and Ryuu trying to slow him down with Bludgers, Bokuto powered through and it was left to Kei to stop him.

But Kei was ready for him.

“ _Tsukishima’s a whole new Keeper today. What a block!_ ”

“Ugh! So annoying!” Shirofuku said.

“Why thank you,” Kei answered smugly, and tossed the Quaffle out to Tobio.

He’d managed to block the last three of Bokuto’s shots in a row, and it was clearly starting to get to the Hufflepuff captain. His next shot hit the post so hard that the metal rang, the Quaffle bouncing off and almost hitting Hufflepuff Beater Akinori Konoha on the back of his head. The following overshot the hoops by a half a metre.

“Don’t throw to me anymore, Keiji!” Bokuto shouted, as they both flew back to chase after the Gryffindors, who were zooming to the Hufflepuff goals to make their own attack.

“ _Will we get to see Kageyama and Hinata’s freak quick attack again? No! It’s a goal from Azumane, bringing the score to fifty-forty to Gryffindor! Rumour has it Azumane is twenty years old and part of a broomstick gang. They say he once got into a fight with a werewolf in Hogsmeade._ ”

It seemed that Akaashi was obeying Bokuto’s request, because from then on, he and Shirofuku led the attacks, leaving Bokuto to trail despondently after them. He seemed to have given up completely. But if the Gryffindors expected that to give them a break, they were proven dead wrong.

“ _Unlike the Slytherin team, Hufflepuff doesn’t need to rely on the strength of their star player to win_.”

In the stands, the Slytherins booed and hissed, but Terushima was undeterred.

“ _My money’s on Hufflepuff to win the Cup this year. Speaking of which, if you haven’t placed your bets yet, I’ll be taking wagers until the final match. Uh - just kidding, Professor! I’d never gamble!_ ”

Kei gritted his teeth as Akaashi slipped the Quaffle through the hoops and sent him a smirk. It was fine, Kei told himself. There was no reason to lose his composure. Even if Akaashi and Shirofuku were more than capable with just the two of them, they were nowhere near as fearsome as Bokuto.

But then something happened that Kei couldn’t have foreseen.

First, Bokuto made a comeback when Akaashi threw him the Quaffle again, and he slammed it through Kei’s fingers with the force of a cannon.

 _You need to get your body behind the Quaffle_. _Don’t just reach for it_.

Kei recalled Kuroo’s words as he geared himself for Bokuto’s next attack. But at the last second, Bokuto suddenly changed direction, hitting the Quaffle at a tight angle across the hoops. With a burst of acceleration, Kei leaned forward over his Moonbeam, stretching his long arm to block the shot.

Pain exploded through his hand.

Distantly, Kei was aware of the Quaffle tumbling from his fingers to hit the rim of the hoop, and fall through. It was a goal.

Kei followed the ball to the ground. He was supposed to pick it up and throw it back into play. But instead he landed, and dropped his broom to cradle his hand. Something was wrong. He’d known it the moment the Quaffle hit his fingers. It wasn’t supposed to hurt this much.

“Shit.”

“Are you okay? I called a time out.”

It was Daichi. He landed in front of Kei, along with half the team and the referee, looking concerned.

Kei bit his lip as he pulled off his right glove with some difficulty, both his hands trembling hard as pain lanced through his palm at the movement. The skin between his last two fingers had split and was bleeding. But more concerning was the odd angle of his pinky. It was already starting to swell.

“I think I dislocated my finger,” Kei said tightly.

How could this happen now? He’d been perfectly in sync with the Quaffle until now, reading Bokuto’s shots better than he ever had before. The team needed Kei. They needed him to be the best he could be.

“Do you want to go to the hospital wing?” Madam Naoi asked.

There was no way he could go. There were no substitutions in Quidditch. If Kei left, the hoops would be undefended. Gryffindor would be decimated. It wouldn’t matter if they caught the Snitch if they fell more than a hundred and fifty points behind.

“Tsukki, are you okay?” Bokuto asked, dropping to the ground beside Daichi.

“‘Tsukki’?” Daichi repeated, sounding surprised.

“It’s fine,” Kei said, as he took out his wand to splint and bind his pinky to his ring finger. He clenched his teeth against the pain, wishing he knew a numbing spell. But even if he had, he couldn’t afford to risk his entire hand going lame.

“I’m sorry, Tsukki,” Bokuto said mournfully.

“I’ll be fine,” Kei said, shoving his glove into his pocket. He wouldn’t be able to wear it over the splint. “I can play.”

He picked up the Quaffle with his bandaged right hand, trying to familiarise himself with the pain. There was no way he could play without using it. He needed his other hand just to hold onto his broom as he kicked off into the air.

“Look at you, you bastard,” Ryuu called with a grin. “Flying on up here like you’re some kind of hero.”

“Um … About the Hufflepuff Beaters,” Kei said. He just needed to focus on the match. Thinking about his hand now was useless. “I noticed that Konoha has been keeping an eye on the Seekers, so watch out for him.”

Kei wasn’t sure how he made it through the rest of the match. Every time he blocked the Quaffle, it felt like he was dislocating his finger anew. Doing something like this, was he an idiot? He wasn’t Shouyou or anything.

He just wanted to try fighting until the end.

He’d always shrugged things off when they started to get serious. It was better than trying and failing. It was better than getting emotionally invested. But lately … ever since Tadashi had called him pathetic, ever since Bokuto had said, _nothing else mattered in that moment except being able to crush my opponent with all my strength_ , Kei had stopped running away. He’d put in his all, for the first time since he’d learned how his brother had lied to him.

_Just think about the satisfaction you’ll get seeing this badger’s face when you block every one of his shots._

So when Kei accelerated to get in front of the Quaffle as Bokuto slammed it mercilessly for the hoops, and caught it the way Kuroo had taught him, he felt strong and in control, in a way he couldn’t remember ever feeling before. Even as white-hot pain shot through his hand, he looked Bokuto in the eye and felt equal to him.

But in the end, a game of Quidditch came down to the Seekers. So when Kaori Suzumeda streaked towards a glint of gold at the base of the Gryffindor goalposts, Kei could do nothing but watch. Ryuu and Daichi deflected the Bludgers aimed at Yuu as he gave chase, but the Gryffindor Seeker was on the other side of the pitch, too far away to catch up.

“ _Suzumeda’s caught the Snitch! Hufflepuff wins the match, two hundred and sixty to a hundred!_ ”

Kei’s boots hit the ground before he even realised that he was flying down to land. He felt numb. His head was empty, except for the roar of the crowd, and the whooping and cheering of Bokuto and his team behind him. The only thing he could feel was the stabbing pain in his hand.

“Do you want me to take you to the hospital wing?”

It was Daichi again. He looked exhausted, as if all the spirit had been drained out of him.

“No, thank you,” Kei said. “I can go myself.”

“You played really well today, Kei.”

Kei nodded woodenly and kept walking.

It was just a game. Just a school club. It didn’t matter.

He felt sick.

As he approached the locker rooms, he saw Kuroo hovering in the stands nearby. He was watching Kei with sharp eyes, and for a moment Kei thought the Ravenclaw was going to come down to meet him. But then Tadashi rushed across the pitch and Kei broke his gaze away.

“Are you alright?” Tadashi asked anxiously.

“I’m fine,” Kei said, for what felt like the hundredth time. “It’s just a finger.”

He didn’t look up at Kuroo again.

Of course, once Kei reached the hospital wing, his finger was mended in under two minutes. It took the matron more time to tut over the violence of Quidditch than to tend to his injury. The fact that Kei had suffered almost an hour of pain for such a quick fix seemed ridiculous now, especially considering the outcome of the match.

He’d been fooling himself, thinking that his efforts mattered at all. Even if he’d left, and the Hufflepuffs had scored twenty more goals, it wouldn’t have made a difference. Gryffindor would still have lost.

If you let yourself get worked up about anything, you just ended up suffering more later. Didn’t he already know that?

“Pathetic,” Kei muttered, sitting on one of the hospital beds and staring at his hand as he flexed his fingers. The matron had already finished healing him, but the hospital wing was quiet and empty, and he didn’t want to go back to Gryffindor Tower yet. “You must be glad you’re not on the Quidditch team now, Tadashi.”

“No way. You were really cool today, Kei,” Tadashi insisted. “I’d’ve been proud to be on the same team as you. I - I thought you were really brave.”

“I couldn’t even stop Bokuto. All that pointless effort.” Kei sneered down at his lap. “I actually tried my best.”

He still remembered when he’d first arrived at Hogwarts. He’d wanted to be brave and cool like Akiteru. He’d even asked the Sorting Hat to put him in the same House as his brother, though Akiteru had already graduated the year before. He’d wanted to join the Quidditch team and overcome all his opponents.

In the first week of school, over dinner, he’d asked Tadashi if he wanted to go to the Trophy Room with him.

“Gryffindor won the Quidditch Cup last year, and my brother was on the team. I want to go see his name on the plaque.”

“Wow, really? That’s so cool!” Tadashi had said.

But an older boy overheard them and said, “There was nobody on the team last year called Tsukishima.”

Kei hadn’t believed him until he’d gone to the Trophy Room with Tadashi and seen the list of the winners’ names for himself. And he’d realised that Akiteru had been too much of a coward to be honest with his eleven-year-old brother. Maybe his bravery had been in never giving up, in his determination to keep training every holiday, and trying out for the team every season, and never being afraid of failure. Even when he faced it every year.

But Kei wasn’t like that. He’d realised then that he should never have been in Gryffindor. He wasn’t strong in the face of difficulty. He didn’t want to face his fears. And why should he, when it was all pointless, in the end? He’d let himself get caught up in everybody’s little fantasies of pride and strength, and for what?

“It wasn’t pointless!” Tadashi said heatedly. “You said yourself that Koutarou Bokuto’s on the same level as professional players. And you actually stood up to him today. Even when you got hurt, you never gave up. It wasn’t your fault that you lost. The fact that the Snitch just happened to be closer to the Hufflepuff Seeker was pure luck.”

“So what?” Kei snapped. “It doesn’t make a difference. We’re dead last. We’re out of the running for the Cup. We might as well forfeit the game against Ravenclaw now.”

“It does make a difference! Forget how the match ended. Think of how you felt, facing Hufflepuff today, compared to how you felt against Slytherin. You should feel proud of yourself today. _That’s_ the difference.”

Kei turned his face away, remembering the feeling of control he’d had during the match. He’d thought he could face Bokuto as an equal. And for a moment, it had actually been fun. He couldn’t decide whether that was something to be proud of or embarrassed about, now that they had lost.

“So … you’re not going to give up now, are you?” Tadashi asked, anxiety creeping back into his voice.

If Kei quit now, then he wouldn’t have the chance to feel that sense of control and strength against Ravenclaw. He’d be giving up his control from the very beginning.

“Do you really think idiots like Shouyou and Tobio would let us forfeit a match?” Kei asked coolly, taking off his glasses to clean them on his robes. “They’ll probably be up before dawn to train again tomorrow.”

 

* * *

 

The problem was that Tadashi knew Kei better than anyone. Apart from Quidditch practice and prefect meetings, they spent all their free time together, either studying in the library, or relaxing in the common room. Which meant that when Kei started meeting Kuroo, Tadashi noticed his absences. And as their meetings became more frequent, Tadashi grew more and more suspicious.

“Where’ve you been all night?” Tadashi asked, one Saturday evening, when Kei came back from playing two-a-side with Kuroo and the Hufflepuffs. Bokuto had insisted on being on a team with Kei - he’d been convinced that Kei must hate him for dislocating his finger, despite Kei showing him that his hand was perfectly fine. But seeing Kuroo and Akaashi’s disgruntled faces when they crushed them had been unusually satisfying.

“The library.”

“Didn’t it close a while ago? It’s past curfew.”

Kei shrugged non-committally. He didn’t particularly like lying to his best friend, but he wasn’t about to admit that he’d lost track of time because the captain of the Ravenclaw team had pulled him into a hidden alcove, after he’d played Quidditch together with three of their rivals. Even if Kuroo had been a girl, he wouldn’t want to deal with the reaction _that_ would cause.

“I’m going to bed.”

And because Tadashi was not a confrontational person, he let it go. For weeks, he endured evasive answers, and Kei thought that eventually he’d just stop asking. But instead, the opposite happened.

Of course, it was all Kuroo’s fault.

It was the second last week of term before the Easter holiday, and once again, Kei found himself pressed against the wall of a dark classroom, after an evening prefect meeting. They were both hot and impatient, fumbling between kisses with the buttons of each others’ robes by the light of the moon streaming in through the tall windows.

“I’m sick of doing this in empty classrooms,” Kuroo growled into Kei’s ear. “I want to fuck you in a bed.”

The words sent a bolt of heat through Kei. _Yes. Fuck yes_ , he thought, but his voice was only a little rough when he said, “Then stop dragging me into classrooms.”

Kuroo let go of Kei’s waist and pulled away far enough that he could look him in the eye as he said with a smirk, “You don’t have to stay.”

“Well, I’m already here, so …” Kei trailed off indifferently.

“Oh? So you won’t mind if I do this?” Kuroo asked, and lowered his head to suck at the spot just below Kei’s jaw that he knew always made him shudder.

“Ah - no marks,” Kei said, pushing at Kuroo’s chest without much force.

But Kuroo broke away willingly. He lifted his head to lick the shell of Kei’s ear and breathe into it, “What about this?”

He held Kei back against the wall and rolled his hips slowly against him, just barely hard enough to tease. Kei’s whole body went taut and he tightened his fists at his sides to stop himself from grabbing Kuroo’s hair and pulling him in for a bruising kiss.

“That’s - fine,” Kei said tightly.

Kuroo seemed to know what he wanted though. He ghosted his lips over Kei’s, but when Kei tilted forward to kiss him, he pulled away and returned his attention to Kei’s neck. This time, he was careful not to leave any marks.

Every touch was feather light and designed to tease. He parted Kei’s robes and slid his fingers under his shirt, skimming the naked skin just above the edge of his underwear and making his stomach muscles clench. Somehow, just that light touch was like electricity, shooting straight to his groin.

“Can I touch you here?” Kuroo asked, lowering his hand to brush his fingers against him through the thin fabric of his underwear.

Kei’s hips twitched forward and he pressed his mouth shut to prevent a sound from escaping. He was starting to feel feverish and out of breath, his whole body tense with anticipation. Even though he could feel Kuroo’s eyes on his face, he was finding it hard to care much about looking cool anymore, when Kuroo’s thumb was stroking him over the damp spot of precome on his underwear.

When Kei didn’t answer, Kuroo lifted his hand away and asked innocently, “Or not?”

The problem was, there was no winning this game. Either Kei was left frustrated - and he knew Kuroo would leave him hanging just to prove a point - or he admitted defeat. And either way, Kuroo would get the satisfaction of denying him, or making him give in.

“Fuck. Yes. Don’t-” Kei bit out.

“Hmm? Don’t touch you?”

“Don’t stop, you arsehole.”

“Hmm. So rude. What’s the magic word?” Kuroo teased, pressing his smile into Kei’s neck.

“I don’t know. I haven’t learnt the Unforgivables yet,” Kei snapped, though if he knew the three spells to torture, kill or control, he wasn’t sure which one he’d use on Kuroo in that moment.

Kuroo laughed against Kei’s throat and scraped his teeth lightly against him, at the same time brushing his fingers briefly across Kei through his underwear.

“ _Fine_ ,” Kei gritted out. “Please. Touch me. Kiss me.”

Kuroo surged forward to press into him, kissing Kei with a desperation like he’d been the one being teased. Kei let himself unclench his fists, bringing a hand up to tug at Kuroo’s messy hair. And maybe he pulled a little hard, in revenge for the teasing, but Kuroo just moaned into his mouth and ground their hips together.

When Kuroo responded like that, it didn’t really feel like losing.

But to Kei’s frustration, Kuroo broke away again all too soon, to pant, “Hey, Kei.”

“What _now_?”

“Can I suck you off?”

It took a moment for the words to sink in. Kei blinked at Kuroo’s face. The older boy was a little flushed, a little out of breath, and all the teasing had dropped out of his expression to be replaced with a seriousness that was focused entirely on Kei as he stared back at him.

“You think I’d say no to that?” Kei said at last, when he could formulate a smart reply.

“I want to hear you say yes.”

“ _Yes_ ,” Kei said and swore when Kuroo dropped to his knees in front of him.

They had never done this before. The furthest they’d got was hasty handjobs between parted robes. And he was used to that enough to not feel so self-conscious about touching and being touched anymore. But for a moment, when his robes were pushed wide open, and his underwear fell to his ankles, Kei felt suddenly very exposed. He was aware of how thin and pale his legs were in the moonlight, of how he hadn’t showered since before bed last night, of how Kuroo was bigger than he was.

But then Kuroo’s mouth was on him, and Kei forgot everything but heat and wetness, and trying not to come in about ten seconds.

Even with his face cast in shadow, just the sight of Kuroo’s lips stretching around to meet the fingers around his base was almost enough to send Kei over the edge. This was the captain of the Ravenclaw Quidditch team. Tetsurou Kuroo. He was on his knees for Kei, and yet he was in complete control.

He looked so unbelievably sexy.

Kei let the back of his head hit the wall and shut his eyes. He covered his mouth with one hand and pressed the other in a fist against the wall to stop himself from grabbing onto Kuroo’s hair. The muscles of his stomach and his thighs were taut, but he felt like he’d melt into the floor if he weren’t leaning against the wall, with Kuroo’s free hand digging into his hip.

“F - uck, I can’t-” Kei choked out, dropping his hand from his mouth. “I’m going to come.”

But Kuroo didn’t pull away. Kei’s fingertips touched Kuroo’s cheek, brushed over his ear and through his hair, jerky and indecisive. Kuroo looked up to meet his eyes at the touch and Kei came into his mouth, his hand flying up again to stifle a groan.

When Kuroo pulled away and released Kei to wipe his mouth with the back of his hand, Kei slid to the ground. His legs were like jelly. His entire body felt loose and sleepy as he slung an arm around Kuroo’s shoulders and pulled him into a lazy, open-mouthed kiss. He could taste his own come on Kuroo’s tongue, and maybe that should have been disgusting, but he kind of liked how dirty it made him feel.

“You’re so fucking hot, Tsukki,” Kuroo said breathlessly, touching himself through his robes.

Kei’s head felt too hazy and blank to think of anything to say in response to Kuroo’s comment. He wasn’t sure that he was the one who had done anything to deserve it. So he just batted Kuroo’s hand aside and mumbled, “Here. Let me.”

Afterwards, when Kei’s heart had slowed and his skin had cooled, he grew uncomfortably aware of how sweaty and sticky he was.

“We could use the prefect’s bathroom,” he said. “Next time, I mean.”

“You bad prefect, Tsukki,” Kuroo teased. He had moved to sit against the wall beside Kei, under the moonlight. “I tried it with my girlfriend once, though. The mermaid in the painting ratted us out. Nekomata had us in detention for a month.”

Kei felt like he’d been doused with a bucket of ice water. “You have a girlfriend?”

“Had,” Kuroo said quickly. “We broke up a year and a half ago.”

That only made Kei feel slightly better. He pushed himself to his feet and put his underwear on with his back to Kuroo, before he began to fumble with the buttons of his robes.

“So you’re not … You like girls.”

He’d already known that this wasn’t anything serious, but was it all just some kind of experiment to the Ravenclaw? An opportunity to try out something different before he found himself another girlfriend?

When he turned around, Kuroo was on his feet, watching him with his half-lidded eyes impassive. “I like both.”

“Then why don’t you just hook up with girls like a normal guy?”

“I am normal. This is normal, Kei.”

He spoke so calmly, and surely, that it didn’t even sound like he was defending himself. It sounded like he was trying to reassure Kei. Was this the difference between a fifth year and a seventh year? Kei felt like a child, and he hated it.

“But you’re a pureblood, aren’t you?” Kei asked, trying to sound just as reasonable as the Ravenclaw.

“Yeah, so?”

“So, isn’t it your responsibility to get married and carry on the family line?”

Kuroo quirked a smile as he buttoned his own robes. “Not really? My parents disowned me last year.”

“Because you’re-” Kei cut himself off. It was none of his business.

But Kuroo knew what he was asking anyway.

“Being bisexual was just one more thing on a very long list of things we didn’t agree on.”

“Sorry,” Kei muttered, twisting his fingers together. It had never occurred to him to wonder why popular, social Tetsurou Kuroo spent his Christmas holiday at school, instead of with his family.

He’d thought a lot about how his own parents might react if they found out about him. He’d once overheard his mother telling his brother that he’d better hurry up and bring a girlfriend home so that she could have another woman in the house. But besides that, he didn’t really have anything to go on.

He hadn’t even been there to see his parents’ reaction when Kei outed Akiteru over his fake Hogwarts Quidditch career in a letter after he found out the truth in his first year. They’d all been on normal terms by the time Kei had gone home for Christmas that year. Akiteru had joked, rather awkwardly, that his baby brother was harsher on him than his parents.

Had they been angry at Akiteru for lying? Disappointed? Sympathetic? Kei had never asked. But that was the closest thing to his own situation that he could imagine. And of all the reactions he’d pictured, being disowned had never been one of them.

“It’s fine.” Kuroo shrugged, but he looked a little awkward as he scrubbed a hand through his hair. “We weren’t exactly close.”

“No, I mean …” Kei trailed off, frowning at the floor. _Sorry for saying you’re not normal. Sorry for killing the mood._

“We should go before we break curfew.” Kuroo smiled as he went on, clearly trying to lighten the mood. “Wouldn’t want a prefect getting into trouble for sneaking around at night seducing boys.”

As soon as they stepped out of the dark classroom, and into the bright corridor, a trio of second-year Ravenclaws rounded the corner. They rushed past without looking at the two older boys, obviously hurrying to get to their common room before curfew, but Kei still jumped to put some space between himself and Kuroo.

“Tsukki,” Kuroo said slowly, watching the second years go. “This holiday. I hope we don’t have to sneak around in such a hurry all the time.”

Kei couldn’t get those words out of his head as he made his way up to Gryffindor Tower. They were both staying at Hogwarts for the holiday again, and with the castle almost empty, they wouldn’t have to worry so much about getting caught. And Kuroo wanted to spend more time with him. He didn’t want to hurry. Kei couldn’t stop thinking about the way he’d said, _I want to fuck you in a bed_.

He was going to be jerking off to the thought of Kuroo taking his time, in an actual bed, of Kuroo’s _mouth_ , for the rest of the term.

He was broken out of his reverie when he reached the fifth-year boys’ dormitory. The lights were already off and the hangings drawn around Shouyou and Tobio’s beds, but Tadashi was sitting up reading _When Muggles Notice_ by the light of his bedside lamp. He’d obviously been waiting for Kei, because as soon as he came in, Tadashi straightened and put his book away.

“Hey. Where’ve you been?” Tadashi asked, keeping his voice low to not disturb their sleeping roommates.

“Prefect meeting,” Kei said, as he gathered his toiletries and left for the bathroom.

But Tadashi followed him.

“Hitoka and Suga came back to the common room hours ago.”

“I stayed to talk to Professor Ukai.”

“That’s what Hitoka said, when I asked where you were. But Shouyou said he had detention with Ukai after the meeting and he never saw you.”

Kei debated whether he should respond to that, as he hung up his towel in a shower cubicle and laid out his pyjamas on the shelf. If Tadashi already knew all that, then there was no point in denying it. And Kei wasn’t in the mood for this. He was tired and he could smell Kuroo on his skin. All he wanted was to wash up and go to bed. He already had enough to think about for one night.

“Are you going to let me shower, or-?”

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Tadashi burst out, his loud voice echoing off the bathroom tiles.

“What?” Kei blinked, surprised. “No.”

“Then why are you lying to me?”

“You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”

Kei kept his expression unimpressed, but Tadashi’s persistence was starting to piss him off. Anywhere else, he could just walk away or ignore his friend, but there was nothing to do in the bathroom except strip off his clothes and get in the shower, and Kei certainly wasn’t going to have this conversation naked.

“It’s not like this is the first time,” Tadashi argued. “You’ve been disappearing and lying about it for months now. Did you really think I wouldn’t notice?”

“I don’t need to tell you everything I do.”

“That’s not the point! I’m not asking you to. But why are you lying to me? Do you not trust me? Or are you hiding what you’re doing because you’re ashamed of it?”

“What would I have to be ashamed of?” Kei asked, feeling suddenly cold with fury.

“I - I don’t know. That’s why I’m asking. I’m worried about you, Kei.”

“It’s got nothing to do with you,” Kei spat.

Tadashi reeled back, looking hurt. “I’m just trying to be a good friend.”

“Well, don’t,” Kei snapped. It wasn’t as if he wanted to lie, or to hide. He hadn’t asked to be different, and he didn’t want anybody’s attention. “You want me to be honest with you? I’m sick of you nagging me all the time. What I do is none of your business. Just leave me alone.”

“Fine,” Tadashi said. His voice was shaking. “You know, Kei, you always seem to think you don’t need other people. For your sake, I hope you’re right.”

He slammed the bathroom door behind him, but Kei had already turned away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was really hard to write, and I'm really nervous about it, so please let me know what you think in the comments!
> 
> Next chapter: Kei visits Ravenclaw Tower, and Shouyou notices something is up.


	6. Break: Easter Holiday

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kei gets in over his head.

If asked, Kei would have said that he’d agreed to spend his holiday at school for the second time to use the library. It had nothing to do with wanting to train more with the team before their final Quidditch match. And of course it had nothing to do with Tetsurou Kuroo. OWL exams were fast approaching, and Kei needed to study. That was all.

Still, he didn’t exactly _mind_ seeing Kuroo when he entered the library on Monday evening. Kuroo had proven himself a decent study partner over Christmas, and Kei wouldn’t be averse if the Ravenclaw joined him again.

There was just one problem.

“Maybe I should have made the others come with us,” Daichi said worriedly, as he walked ahead of Kei with Asahi. “You think they’ll really get any studying done in the common room?”

Kei very much doubted it. He considered it a small miracle when Shouyou and Tobio passed every year. Hitoka Yachi, the female Gryffindor prefect for their year, had taken on the responsibility of tutoring them, but of course she’d gone home for the holiday, and it was unlikely that they’d get anything done without her. But he wasn’t going to say that to Daichi, in case he really did drag them along next time.

“They’d probably get us all kicked out of the library,” Asahi said with an embarrassed laugh, rubbing the back of his head.

“Oh, are you sitting there, Kei?” Daichi said, glancing over his shoulder to see Kei taking a table behind them.

He’d intended to sit alone, but to his annoyance, Daichi and Asahi turned around and took the seats opposite him. Over their shoulders, Kuroo gave a small wave. Kei scowled at his Arithmancy textbook as he took it out, and didn’t look up again.

But it wasn’t ten minutes before Kuroo came slouching over with his bag slung over his shoulder and said casually, “Hey, mind if I join you guys?”

“Hey, Tetsurou,” Daichi said. “Go ahead.”

Kei kept his eyes firmly on his book, feeling tense, and pretended not to listen as the seventh years exchanged pleasantries. So Daichi called Kuroo by his first name. That shouldn’t be surprising, really. They probably had classes together. They wouldn’t find it strange for Kuroo to sit with them. They wouldn’t think it had anything to do with Kei.

“So I see your team is living on the pitch again this holiday,” Kuroo said.

“We’ll be taking Sundays off, if you want to use it,” Daichi said.

“Sundays,” Kuroo repeated thoughtfully. “Aren’t you worried about your exams? You two have both got your NEWTs, and you’ve got, what, three on your team doing their OWLs? I wouldn’t want you to throw away your academics when you’re just going to lose to us again.”

“I’m making sure everybody studies after dinner every day,” Daichi said lightly, ignoring Kuroo’s dig.

“Doesn’t sound like you’ll have any free time at all. I’m sure there are other things you’d like to be doing with your holiday too. Right, Tsukishima?”

Kei could feel all three of the seventh years turn their eyes on him, but he didn’t look up from his textbook. If he saw Kuroo’s sly smirk right now, he might be forced to hex him.

“Not really,” Kei said.

“Such enthusiasm,” Kuroo chuckled and, fortunately, changed the subject. “Have you started Washijou’s essay on regenerative potions, Daichi?”

Of course, Kei knew exactly why Kuroo was asking all these questions, and it had nothing to do with concern about the Gryffindor team’s grades.

He and Kuroo had only met once since the night Kei had fought with Tadashi, and he’d excused himself after ten minutes, claiming he heard somebody coming. He blamed it on Quidditch: the Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw match was the first weekend after the holiday, so both teams had been even busier than usual with practice.

But if he were honest with himself, Kei had been avoiding Kuroo a bit. It wasn’t even because he was worried about Tadashi noticing his absence - they had been ignoring each other since the argument. Rather, Kei couldn’t stop thinking about what Kuroo had said. _I want to fuck you in a bed_. He’d jerked off to the thought of it almost every night since then. He’d even locked himself in the prefect’s bathroom a few times to explore previously uncharted territory, beneath the bath foam.

But fantasy was one thing. Having actual sex with Kuroo seemed like a lot more than just furtive handjobs in empty classrooms. What if it hurt a lot? What if he didn’t know what to do and he was terrible at it?

A touch against his thigh startled him out of his thoughts. Beside him, Kuroo looked bored, taking notes as he read a textbook. There was no sign on his face that he was trying to pass Kei a scrap of parchment under the table with his left hand. Kei’s eyes darted to the other side of the table, but Daichi and Asahi were both focused on their homework, so he dropped his hand down to take the note and slid it on top of his textbook.

_Can you get away before Sunday?_

So this was it. It was going to happen. All Kei had to do was set a date. He considered writing _no_ , partly because it would be a hassle to get away without raising questions before their day off, and partly just to be contrary. But Sunday seemed a long way off, and he might as well just get it over with. He was going to lose his virginity sooner or later anyway.

 _Thursday_ , he wrote, because it seemed sufficiently far away enough to not seem too eager, but close enough that he wouldn’t have too much time to overthink it.

Before he could pass the note back, a line of writing began to appear below his own. He glanced at Kuroo, who was writing on another piece of parchment. It seemed he had enchanted them so that the writing would show up on both pieces, to prevent them from getting caught passing it back and forth.

 _Ravenclaw Tower?_ Kuroo wrote, his handwriting slanted and loose. _After dinner?_

Kei took a moment before he answered. Already he was starting to feel nervous.

_Okay._

 

* * *

 

On Thursday afternoon, Kei feigned a headache and excused himself half an hour early from practice to head up to the castle before the rest. The team usually finished by supper anyway, but Kei wanted the extra time for a thorough bath before he met Kuroo. Also, nobody would disturb him later, or wonder where he was, if they though he was sleeping off a headache. With his hangings drawn shut, his roommates wouldn’t even know he wasn’t in bed.

Despite being on his broom all day, he found that he wasn’t hungry at all after his bath. So he skipped supper entirely and headed directly for their meeting spot, where he found Kuroo already waiting.

“Hey, Tsukki.”

Kei took a step back as Kuroo drew close, looking behind him down the corridor to make sure nobody was there. Kuroo took the hint, shoving his hands in his pockets and turning to lead the way.

The entrance to Ravenclaw Tower was a door with no handle at the top of a spiral staircase on the fifth floor. Kuroo rapped a bronze eagle knocker and its beak opened to say in a soft, musical voice, “This sentence is false. Is it true?”

Kuroo looked at Kei expectantly.

Kei raised an eyebrow in return. “You don’t have a password?”

“You have to answer a question.”

Kei couldn’t decide whether this was better or worse than Hufflepuff’s secret knock. That may have been idiotically simple, but at least it wasn’t as tedious as answering philosophical riddles every day.

“That doesn’t seem very secure,” Kei said.

“If you can answer the question, you deserve to come inside,” Kuroo said with a challenging smirk.

Kei turned to the door and said coolly, “The sentence is both true and false, and therefore neither. It’s meaningless.”

“Well put,” the eagle said, and the door swung open.

Inside, the Ravenclaw common room was about as different from Hufflepuff’s as their password. The Hufflepuff common room had been low-ceilinged and, in Kei’s opinion, claustrophobic, with the smell of earth drifting from the hanging pot plants. The Ravenclaw common room, on the hand, was airy, with a high, domed ceiling and arched windows that overlooked the castle grounds and the mountains.

“Welcome to my humble abode,” Kuroo said with a flourish. “We’ve even got our own library. It doesn’t look that big, but it’s got almost as many books as the main library.”

“Then why do you even come to the school library every day?” Kei asked, though now that he thought about it, he’d never once seen Kuroo there during the term. He only came during the holidays.

Kuroo raised his eyebrows suggestively. “Why do you think?”

This time, when Kuroo stepped towards him, Kei didn’t move away. Kuroo reached out his hand, his eyes on Kei’s mouth as he ran his thumb over Kei’s lips, then slid his palm to cup his jaw. He leaned forward slowly, until Kei could feel his hot breath, until their lips just brushed together and then, _finally_ , he kissed him, softly and deliberately.

Kei pulled away, his heart pounding.

“There isn’t anyone else here, is there?” he asked, glancing around them, anywhere but at Kuroo.

He knew that there were a couple of Ravenclaw first years staying in the castle for Easter. That was why they’d agreed to meet during the dinner hour, while the others would be away.

“No, they’d just sat down to eat when I left the Great Hall,” Kuroo said. “We’ve got some time.”

But Kei was still uncomfortable. He would have thought it would be easier visiting another House the second time, but he’d never felt like this at the Hufflepuff Basement. Maybe it was because the room was so open and airy, but he felt exposed. He didn’t even know what the punishment would be for getting caught in a different House’s rooms, but he’d rather not find out.

“Want to go up to my dorm? No one else will go in there.”

The Ravenclaw dormitories were not that different from Kei’s own in Gryffindor, except that the hangings and the rug were blue, and the windows were taller, letting in more sunlight. It was also considerably tidier, and smelled less of sweaty Quidditch uniforms.

“I need to take a shower. Care to join me?” Kuroo asked with a leer.

“No, thank you,” Kei said coolly, sitting down on the edge of Kuroo’s bed.

While he waited for Kuroo to return, Kei looked through a small stack of textbooks on the bedside table. Curious about what NEWT-level students had to study, he picked up the book on top, _A Penetrating Guide to Wizarding Magic_ , and flipped through it.

It took him a moment to realise what he was reading. There were protections charms. Potions recipes for aphrodisiacs and lubrication. A chapter on sexually-transmitted diseases, both magical and mundane, titled ‘So It’s Turned Green Down There’. On every page, the pictures were only of men. A chapter on transfigurations with very graphic illustrations made him turn the page so fast it almost tore.

He was reading ‘How to Get Your Rear End Raring to Go’ when the door handle turned. He slammed the book shut and shoved it back onto the bedside table before the door even swung all the way open. Kuroo stepped inside, dressed in nothing but a pair of red boxers and a black T-shirt, rubbing his hair with a towel. He took one look at Kei’s face, and the book lying crooked on the table, and his mouth curled into a grin.

“Read something interesting?” Kuroo teased, hanging up his towel and sitting down beside Kei. “Something you want to try, maybe? I’m game for anything.”

Kei raised an eyebrow, putting on his least impressed face to cover his embarrassment. “Even the transfigurations?”

“Almost anything,” Kuroo corrected himself smoothly. “It’s a pretty good book though. You can borrow it, if you like.”

“No, thank you,” Kei said politely. He couldn’t imagine Shouyou or Tobio voluntarily picking up a book, and Tadashi wouldn’t touch his things without asking, but just the thought of having something so compromising in his room made him uncomfortable. “Aren’t you worried your roommates will open it?”

“If they don’t like what they find, they should ask first.”

Kuroo leaned back onto his palms, grinning, and Kei privately marvelled at how he could be so casual and open, when Kei was embarrassed just looking at the pictures in that book by himself. It was just another reminder that Kuroo was older, and more experienced, and Kei wondered again why he was wasting his time with a fifth-year virgin, when he could probably have anyone he wanted, guy or girl.

“Are we going to do this, or do you need time to read what to do first?” Kei asked.

He knew that was a bit rich, since he only had the vaguest idea of how men had sex. All he really had to go on were the magazines filled with large-breasted witches that the other Gryffindor boys passed around, which for obvious reasons weren’t particularly helpful. And Kuroo probably knew that.

But he just leaned forward and murmured, “Careful, Kei. If you say things like that I might actually think you’re really eager for this.”

“I wouldn’t want you to get the wrong impression,” Kei said and tilted his head a little to accommodate him, shifting just slightly closer, so that they were barely centimetres apart.

Like before, in the common room, when Kuroo kissed him, it was slow and soft. But this time, Kei pressed forward, his mouth rough and insistent, deepening the kiss. He found the hem of Kuroo’s shirt and dragged his hand up his bare back, against skin still warm and damp from the shower.

They were still sitting side by side on the bed and the position was a little awkward, but Kei couldn’t stop touching Kuroo. He’d never had so much of his skin accessible to him before. It was so much easier without wizarding robes in the way.

And Kuroo didn’t seem to mind at all, judging by the way he shoved Kei down onto the bed and dropped his mouth to Kei’s neck.

 “Wait,” Kei said, pushing Kuroo off him.

“Sorry,” Kuroo said, pulling back immediately to let Kei sit up.

“No. Just - I need to take off my shoes.”

Kei removed his shoes and socks, then stood up and set his glasses on the bedside table so that he could pull his robes over his head.

“I’ve never seen you without your glasses before,” Kuroo remarked.

“I prefer being able to see,” Kei muttered as he turned around to face Kuroo, putting his glasses back on.

Even though Kuroo was dressed the same, Kei felt self-conscious in nothing but a T-shirt and boxers. He’d never been comfortable waltzing around the dormitory in nothing but his underwear, like Shouyou was. He didn’t know how Muggles could stand to be so exposed all the time, without robes to cover them.

“I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Kuroo hoisted himself back onto the middle of the bed and Kei followed, settling on his knees between Kuroo’s long legs. As soon as they started kissing again, Kei’s hands dragged up Kuroo’s thighs, skimming over his boxers to slide back under his shirt. He pushed it up to touch more and before long Kuroo got the hint.

“You too,” Kuroo said, breathing heavily when he broke away from Kei’s mouth long enough to tug his shirt over his head.

School robes left much to the imagination, and while Kei had certainly imagined more than once what Kuroo looked like underneath them, it was nothing compared to having him half naked in front of him. Although Kuroo was slightly shorter than Kei, he was bigger, with broad shoulders and a lean, muscular body. He was so much hotter than Kei had imagined.

“Like what you see?” Kuroo asked with a smirk.

Realising he’d been staring, Kei fumbled to take off his own shirt. But he forgot about his glasses, and they got caught in the material. When he managed to untangle himself, and put his glasses back on, he was flushed with embarrassment.

Already he was regretting his own haste to get their clothes off, and he had to resist the urge to cross his arms over his chest. He felt more self-conscious than the first time he had kissed Kuroo after New Year’s, in the Charms classroom. He knew his body was awkward and thin, and it seemed even more so next to Kuroo’s. When Kuroo ran his hands down his sides, Kei could feel how his ribs stuck out under Kuroo’s fingers, and it made him want to pull away.

Instead, he let Kuroo push him down onto his back, and reminded himself that he was supposed to enjoy it when Kuroo touched him, kissing and licking his way down Kei’s chest and his stomach. But the more he thought about it, the more anxious he got about what came next, and the more frustrated with himself for being anxious.

He’d never felt so exposed in his life and they weren’t even naked yet. He couldn’t shake the feeling that somebody was going to walk in and see him like this. And at the same time, he was equally aware that Kuroo was shifting lower, and that there was one part of Kei that couldn’t hide his nervousness, no matter how much he willed it to play along.

Kuroo sat up, putting one knee on the mattress between Kei’s legs. His own arousal was obvious by the tent in his boxers, which only made Kei feel even more humiliated. When Kuroo touched him through his underwear, Kei tensed up and couldn’t relax.

After a moment, Kuroo’s hand fell away. Kei couldn’t look at his face. He slung an arm over his eyes, and his glasses dug almost painfully into his skin. He was a pathetic excuse for a Gryffindor.

“Kei.”

He felt the bed dip beside him and dropped his arm, schooling his face and turning his head to look at Kuroo. The older boy was lying on his side, propped up on one elbow, next to him.

“Can I kiss you?” Kuroo asked.

Kei tried to think of something dry or sarcastic to say in response, but he came up empty. Part of him wanted to say no, but that felt like admitting how flustered he was. And he didn’t actually want to stop. He just wanted to stop feeling so self-conscious.

_It’s just sex. It’s no big deal._

In the end, he didn’t say anything, just pulled Kuroo down for a kiss himself. Again, he made it rough, pushing his frustrations onto Kuroo. But Kuroo kept pulling away, forcing him to slow down. He kissed like he was trying to smooth Kei over and even though he knew it, instead of feeling condescended to, Kei let himself gradually relax into it.

“Can I touch you?” Kuroo pulled away to ask against his lips.

It was the kind of thing he said when he was teasing Kei, but this time it didn’t feel like teasing. It felt like he was asking for permission.

So Kei didn’t mind admitting, “I feel like somebody’s going to walk in.”

“They won’t. The first years would never come into the seventh-year dorms, and there’s nobody else here.”

“I know that,” Kei snapped, glaring at the bed’s canopy.

“Want me to close the drapes?”

Kei pushed himself up to close them himself, because he hated admitting to wanting anything. Next to him, Kuroo sat up and drew the other side shut too. Kei left a gap at the top to let in a triangle of light, so that they wouldn’t be engulfed in darkness.

It was easier, after that, and Kei turned back to Kuroo with a renewed sense of determination. Soon they were lying down again, facing each other on their sides as they made out. Kei was the one who pushed down Kuroo’s boxers first, and then they were both kicking their underwear off their feet and wrapping their hands around each other.

At first, Kei still felt embarrassed, because this was just what they’d done before. Kuroo had surely expected more than this, when he’d invited Kei to his bedroom. But it didn’t really feel the same. There was no fumbling between parted robes, or any need to keep an ear out for anybody walking by, or to rush back before roommates got suspicious.

They were both naked, with their legs and their breath entangled. The light was dim and Kuroo’s bed smelled like him. It was slow and dragged out, until Kei forgot about being nervous and lost himself in touching and being touched, finding all the most sensitive spots, building the tension, until they were both shuddering and gasping into each other’s mouths.

It felt … _intimate_.

Afterwards, Kei felt sleepy and boneless, like all the tension had been wrung out of him. The last thing he felt like doing was getting up and leaving the warm confines of the drapery to walk back to Gryffindor Tower. But he had no reason to stay, so he sat up to find his boxers at the bottom of the bed and pulled them on.

“Where are you going?” Kuroo asked, lying stretched out on his back.

“I should go back to my House.”

“The first years are probably in the common room. It’s still early. Just stay until they go to bed.”

“I need to study.”

“Study here.”

Kuroo slung an arm around Kei’s waist and pulled him back down onto the bed. Kuroo had Vanished the mess after they’d come, but his naked chest was still hot and sticky with sweat against Kei’s back. It should probably have felt uncomfortably familiar, or at least a little gross, but Kei hardly cared.

“This isn’t studying,” Kei muttered into the pillow.

“Mmm. Nap first. Then study,” Kuroo murmured sleepily against the back of Kei’s neck.

It wasn’t even dark yet, but Kei had had Quidditch practice all day and he felt so loose and sated. He wouldn’t actually sleep, of course. He never could, in unfamiliar places. He would just rest for a few minutes before he left.

 

* * *

 

When Kei woke up, it was pitch black. Kuroo was pressed up behind him, with an arm around his waist. He was hard against Kei’s ass and he was pressing soft kisses to the back of Kei’s neck, which was probably what had woken him up.

“Did I wake you?” Kuroo asked softly.

Kei hummed, too drowsy to formulate a response. Kuroo scraped his teeth against the crook of Kei’s neck and he almost shivered, pressing back against him in response. Kuroo’s hand slid down to grip his hip, grinding against him, before moving down to his front. Kei felt so warm and relaxed and turned on that by the time Kuroo’s fingers dipped beneath the waistband of his boxers, concerns about getting hard or staying hard were the last thing on his mind.

He fumbled over Kuroo’s arm to push his underwear down to his knees. He wanted to feel his bare skin on Kuroo behind him, and, _fuck,_ it felt so good when Kuroo ground against him with nothing between them.

“Ah - _Kei_ ,” Kuroo breathed, like all the air was being forced from his lungs.

“I want you to fuck me,” Kei said into the darkness. His heart was racing, but it was more out of anticipation than nerves.

The bed dipped as Kuroo pushed himself up onto his elbow and shifted away. Kei felt cool air flow across his newly exposed skin and he rolled onto his back to watch the dark, shadowy figure of Kuroo push the drapes up and fumble for something on the bedside table. His wand, apparently, because the next moment the bed was bathed in dim light.

Kei blinked, distracted by the blurriness of his vision. He hadn’t even noticed that he wasn’t wearing his glasses anymore. He was pretty sure that he’d fallen asleep with them on. But then Kuroo pressed them into his hands and when Kei put them on, Kuroo’s serious expression came into sharp focus above him.

“You sure?”

“Yeah.”

Kuroo kissed him, and then summoned a vial of lubrication potion before he settled behind Kei again. He took his time preparing him, until eventually Kei was panting and cursing. It definitely hadn’t felt like this when he did it to himself. But if just a couple of fingers felt this good, then he wanted more, he wanted Kuroo, and if he didn’t stop soon, Kei was going to come from just this.

“ _Fuck_. Kuroo, it’s fine. Just fuck me already.”

“I think you can start calling me Tetsurou,” Kuroo said, sounding amused.

Kei ignored him. It was hard to focus on conversation when Kuroo was pulling his fingers out of him.

“How do you want to do this?” Kuroo asked.

After a bit of awkward fumbling, Kei got onto his knees while Kuroo lay down on his back. It wasn’t as if he hadn’t already thought about this. All it really took was the moving pictures in the Gryffindor boys’ magazines and a bit of imagination, and the illustrations in Kuroo’s book had only made him more sure. If Kuroo was on top, then Kei could leave everything to his experienced hands and not worry about making an idiot of himself. But he hated the thought of lying back passively just because he was too much of a coward to take charge. He wasn’t afraid, and he wanted to be in control.

“Go slowly,” Kuroo advised, as Kei settled on his knees over him. “Take your time.”

It felt like a very long time before Kei eased himself all the way down onto Kuroo’s cock. But when he muttered an embarrassed apology, Kuroo just stroked his thighs and said, “Don’t mind me. I’m admiring the view. You’re so hot, Kei. You look so good.”

Kei had expected it to hurt a lot, but apart from a slight burning, it really didn’t. Mostly, he just felt hot and full. It didn’t feel good, exactly. It was more strange than anything else. But he liked the way Kuroo’s grip tightened on his thighs and his breath hitched as Kei started to move. It made him feel powerful and reckless and dirty.

“Kuroo, I want-” Kei said breathlessly, when he'd got used to the feeling. He felt restless and frustrated - he couldn't keep a good rhythm going. He wanted _more_. “I want you on top of me. I want you to fuck me and - just - kiss me.”

He’d never admitted to wanting anything so openly before, let alone something like that. But he knew Kuroo wouldn’t tease him. Not now. He felt like Kuroo would gladly give him whatever he asked for.

And of course he did. He surged up, wrapping an arm around Kei’s waist and kissing him deeply, as if he’d been holding himself back all this time.

When they changed positions, and Kuroo started to really fuck Kei, it was overwhelming. He couldn’t stop the small noises that escaped him. It felt so good. Kei thought that if he forgot everything else, he’d remember the way Kuroo looked then, with his face flushed with exertion, staring down at Kei with his half-lidded gaze heated. He looked so incredibly hot.

“Fuck, Kuroo, I need to-” Kei panted, reaching down between them to wrap his hand around himself. He’d barely touched himself before he was coming, harder than he ever had before, spilling over his fingers and his stomach. Above him, Kuroo dropped from his palms onto his elbows to muffle a moan against Kei’s neck.

“I can’t. I can’t,” Kei gasped after a moment, pushing at Kuroo’s chest. He felt completely over-stimulated, and he couldn’t stand it. “It’s too much.”

Kuroo sat up and pulled out to jerk himself off until he came across Kei’s stomach, his body stiffening and his eyes shut. For a moment, he simply stared down at Kei, breathing quickly. Then he leaned over Kei to kiss him briefly, roughly, and dropped onto his back beside him.

As they lay in silence, except for their heavy breathing and the thundering of Kei’s heart, Kei swirled a finger slowly through their come on his stomach. His whole body felt shaky and weak.

“Sorry about that,” Kuroo said, reaching for his wand to clean up the mess.

“No. It’s kind of hot,” Kei said distantly. He wondered what it tasted like. It was hard to believe that he had been so self-conscious before. None of that seemed to matter at all now. Maybe it was simple exhaustion, or more likely it was just the sex, and watching Kuroo come on his skin, but he felt strangely comfortable lying naked with him now.

“ _You’re_ kind of hot,” Kuroo said. “You’re kind of really, very hot.”

“I should go,” Kei said after a moment, making no move to rise.

“Just stay here. You can leave in the morning, before your roommates wake up.”

Kei didn’t bother to argue this time, though distantly he knew he really should. He barely had the strength to pull on his boxers again and remove his glasses, let alone get out of bed. The last thing he was aware of was Kuroo rolling over to sling an arm across Kei’s stomach, and then he was asleep.

 

* * *

 

Early the next morning, Kei eased out of bed and got dressed silently by the light of the moon. He had to feel his way around in the dark for his clothing, because he didn’t want to light his wand and risk waking up Kuroo, but when he fumbled around the bedside table for his glasses he accidentally knocked something onto the floor. _Smash_. The sound of shattering glass made him flinch.

 _Shit_. Kei shoved his glasses onto his nose. He’d broken the empty vial of lubrication potion.

“Tsukki?” Kuroo mumbled, shifting on the bed.

“Yeah. Sorry,” Kei whispered, pulling his wand out of his robe pocket to cast, “ _Reparo.”_

“Wh’t time ‘z’it?”

“Five a.m.”

Kei set the repaired vial back onto the bedside table, feeling awkward. This was exactly what he had been trying to avoid. He wondered whether he was supposed to say thank you, or something, for the previous night. After all, Kuroo had done him a favour, hadn’t he? He’d made Kei feel good, but he couldn’t imagine that sex with an anxious virgin was all that great. Not that Kei had asked him to do it.

“Keep your Sunday free,” Kuroo said sleepily. “We’re all meeting at eleven a.m. i’th’ Entrance Hall.”

“Who’s ‘we’?” Kei asked suspiciously.

But it seemed that Kuroo had fallen asleep again, because he didn’t answer. Kei couldn’t understand how he could be so tired. They had been in bed since around six the previous evening. Of course, they hadn’t been sleeping all that time, but even so.

At least it spared them both from awkward goodbyes.

By the time his roommates woke up, Kei had already showered, and was sitting in his own bed in the Gryffindor dormitories, reading to pass the time. He was confident that he’d got away with staying out all night, until Shouyou turned to him while they were all getting dressed for breakfast.

Tobio was already in his uniform, sitting sleepy and taciturn on his bed while he polished his broomstick. Shouyou, ever the morning person, was still stripping off his pyjamas, chattering away about a dream he’d had even though nobody was listening to him, when he said abruptly, “Hey, Kei, where were you last night?”

Kei had his back turned to the room while he put on his Quidditch robes, so nobody saw his hands still on his buttons. Without turning around, he said in a measured voice, “Excuse me?”

“I brought you a sandwich because you missed dinner, but you weren’t in your bed.”

“I went to the infirmary.”

He wondered what had happened to the sandwich. As he’d skipped supper, he hadn’t eaten since lunch yesterday and his stomach was hollow with hunger. Still, he wasn’t going to ask. Most likely Shouyou had already eaten it anyway.

“Wait, were you really sick? We all thought you were faking because you couldn’t stop me and Tobio’s shots.”

Kei turned around with a sarcastic comment on his tongue, but he hesitated when Shouyou’s eyes went wide.

“Woah. Are those hickeys?”

“What? Don’t be thick,” Kei snapped, resisting the urge to slap his hands over his neck.

He grabbed his toiletry bag and pushed past Shouyou to go to the bathroom. The mirror had been fogged up from his shower when he brushed his teeth this morning, so he hadn’t seen them before. But Shouyou was right. The marks littering his pale skin were unmistakable.

Staring into the mirror, Kei traced the bruises on his neck with his fingertips. There was another below his collarbone, just under the neckline of his shirt. He couldn’t even remember when exactly he’d got them. They were dark and ugly, but the sight of them sent a wave of perverse pleasure through him. He liked the idea that Kuroo was the one who’d left those marks on him.

Kei blinked and dropped his hand. Was he stupid? Kuroo’s lack of thought had just caused him nothing but trouble. The only thing Kei should feel was irritated.

Fortunately, he kept a small jar of essence of dittany in his toiletry bag, to get rid of the bruises and scrapes from Quidditch practice. Within a few seconds of applying it, the marks on his neck disappeared completely. It was like they had never happened at all.

If only he could erase them from Shouyou’s memory so easily. As soon as he got back to the dormitory, Shouyou demanded, “Do you have a girlfriend?”

“No. Shut up,” Kei said flatly, brushing straight by him to put his toiletry bag away.

“Whatever! I saw those hickeys! You snuck off yesterday to hang out with your girlfriend, didn’t you?”

“How would you even know what a hickey looks like?”

“I’m not an idiot. You saw them too, right, Tobio?”

“Are there even any girls in the castle?” Tobio asked, not looking up from polishing his broomstick.

“Yeah, there’s a couple of first years,” Shouyou said. “Oh! And a sixth-year girl in Slytherin. Are you dating a _Slytherin_? An _older_ Slytherin?”

Kei hesitated. He could deny it, but Tobio’s question had put him on edge. If Shouyou left the room now, he would tell the entire team. Ryuu and Yuu would tease him mercilessly, but Kei was more concerned about the seventh years. They most likely knew about Kuroo's preferences, and they might not be so quick to assume that Kei was with some Slytherin they’d never even seen him near. Not when Kuroo had been joining them in the library every evening - until last night, when they were both absent.

“You know,” Kei said, and Shouyou took a wary step backwards at his smile. “I never told Professor Ukai about how all of you got drunk at school last holiday. As a prefect, it’s really my duty to report that sort of thing.”

“You wouldn’t!”

“You’d probably all get kicked off the Quidditch team,” Kei added thoughtfully. Of course, he’d been drinking too, but none of them knew that.

Tobio looked up sharply at that. None of them doubted that their Head of House would go that far. It was common knowledge that Ukai had a long-time Quidditch rivalry with the Head of Ravenclaw that was as passionate as any student’s, but he was also extremely strict.

“There’s no way you’d do that,” Tobio said angrily. “The Ravenclaw game is in two weeks.”

“I don’t really care about that,” Kei said. “It’s a pointless match anyway. It’s not like we can win the Cup anymore.”

Tobio leapt to his feet. He crossed the room and grabbed Kei by the front of his robes, with murder in his eyes. Kei smiled down at him and said, “Do you want to get expelled, too? Go ahead and hit me.”

“Jeez, fine!” Shouyou burst out, hovering anxiously beside them. “We won’t tell anyone about your stupid girlfriend, okay?”

“As long as you don’t,” Kei said, keeping his eyes fixed on Tobio. “That goes for both of you.”

Tobio let go and turned away to grab his broom, growling, “Like I’d ever want to talk about your love life.”

“Why would anyone want to date an arsehole like you?” Shouyou said, scowling up at Kei, as Tobio stomped out of the room. “I was just teasing you.”

“I wouldn’t expect somebody who hasn’t even hit puberty yet to understand,” Kei said lightly, sitting down to pull on his boots. As soon as Shouyou left the room, he let the fake smile drop off his face.

Why was it so difficult to keep things uncomplicated?

 

* * *

 

“So. We had sex on Thursday.”

Kei raised an eyebrow at Kuroo’s words. They were having lunch at the Three Broomsticks and at this time of day, the pub was empty except for the two of them and Saeko Tanaka, the bartender. She was on the other side of the room, polishing beer glasses, but Kuroo kept his voice low enough not to travel.

“Right,” Kei said, deadpan. “That. I’d forgotten.”

“It just felt like the Erumpent in the room,” Kuroo said with a shrug. His mouth was amused, but his eyes were watching Kei closely.

Kei picked a bit of carrot out of his shepherd’s pie to give him time to think while he ate. He wasn’t sure what Kuroo was looking for. Signs of the post-virginal clinginess cliché? A sexual identity crisis? Kei was happy to disappoint him.

“Glad we got that cleared up, then,” he said coolly, setting down his knife and fork to reach for his Butterbeer.

Kuroo leaned back in his seat and gave a laugh. “I feel like we did this the wrong way round.”

Kei wasn’t sure what he meant, but he wasn’t interested in talking about sex over his food. Or ever, really.

“So are you ready for your exams?” he asked, to change the subject.

Kei hadn’t actually been thinking about Thursday night at all. Sex was sex. It was no great mystery why they’d both been there for that. What Kei couldn’t understand, though, was how he’d ended up spending his Sunday in Hogsmeade, alone with Kuroo.

Students weren’t ordinarily allowed to go to Hogsmeade village during the holidays. But when he’d gone down to the Entrance Hall at eleven that morning, as per Kuroo’s request, it was to find him, Akaashi and Professor Yamiji waiting. Apparently, Yamiji was on her way to the Bokutos’ for Sunday lunch, and had allowed the boys to come along.

The Head of Hufflepuff didn’t seem at all surprised to have Kei joining them. All she said was, “It’s so lovely to see more inter-House friendships.”

Which was all very well, until they arrived in the village and Akaashi turned to Kuroo and Kei to say, “See you later, then.”

“You’re not staying?” Kei asked, too surprised to hold back.

“I’m going to visit Koutarou. We’ll meet at the post office at one.”

“Don’t you want to go too?” Kei asked Kuroo, when Akaashi had left. “Bokuto’s your friend, isn’t he?”

“We’ll see him later,” Kuroo said with a smile. “He lives over the post office. His parents run it. Want to go to the Three Broomsticks for lunch?”

If Kei didn’t know better, he’d say he was on a date.

Honestly, he didn’t even know why he was there. If even Shouyou was starting to notice things, then it was time Kei started to distance himself from Kuroo. Besides, they’d already had sex. That was the end goal, wasn’t it? Kuroo was going to get bored of this game soon, and Kei would rather be the one to end it himself. And with exams coming up, they both had more important things to concern themselves with than sneaking around the castle to satisfy their sexual urges.

So why had Kuroo brought him here? It wasn’t like they could have sex in the pub bathroom or anything - Saeko would definitely notice that, when they were the only customers. So what did Kuroo expect from Kei? _Conversation?_

They’d never actually talked all that much before. Why would they?

“Knut for your thoughts?” Kuroo asked, as they stepped out of the Three Broomsticks after lunch.

“I was thinking about my careers counselling session next week,” Kei lied. He’d been reading job pamphlets that morning so it was the first thing that came to mind.

“Oh, yeah. You need to pick your NEWT subjects, right? You know what you want to do after school?”

“No. Do you?”

“Yeah, I’ve wanted to be an Auror since I was about ten years old. My family’s one of those ancient, pureblood ones with all the Dark Arts stuff hidden in the cellar. So I saw a lot of that growing up. I always hated it.”

He looked unusually serious and Kei was reminded that Kuroo had been disowned by his family. They had never talked about it since he’d first mentioned it, of course. Kuroo’s life wasn’t any of Kei’s business.

“What about you?” Kuroo asked, his tone lightening as he smiled. “What did you want to be when you were a kid?”

“A dragon tamer.”

“Really?” Kuroo laughed.

Kei walked away.

“Sorry, sorry,” Kuroo called, his grin still bright in his voice as he hurried to catch up. “It’s just cute. You should do it. It’d be really sexy.”

He grabbed Kei’s hand from behind and Kei spun around, jerking free.

“Relax. Nobody knows us here,” Kuroo said, but he balled up his hands and shoved them into his pockets.

It wasn’t even about being seen. At school, yes, it was different. He didn’t want the entire student body gossiping about him. Of course, there was still a chance of rumours being spread if the wrong person saw them on the streets of Hogsmeade - a parent of a student, or a friend of his family. But Kei hadn’t been thinking about that when he pulled away.

Kei had never been on a date before. He hadn’t held anybody’s hand since he was old enough to cross the road by himself. But he was still pretty sure that neither of those were things you did with a casual hookup partner.

Maybe for Kuroo it was. He was friendly and social with everybody. Maybe having sex had just made him more familiar. After all, what was a bit of hand holding after you’d touched someone in their most intimate places, and been inside them, and seen them lose control?

Sex was just sex. They were hormonal teenaged boys. It was what they were all supposed to want, and it didn’t have to mean anything. Especially for older, more experienced boys like Kuroo, who probably did this sort of thing regularly. Kei knew that. He wasn’t an idiot.

But holding hands felt different.

“You’re thinking too much,” Kuroo said.

“I don’t want to hear that from a Ravenclaw,” Kei said, turning away to step inside Dervish and Banges, a shop selling magical instruments.

But Kuroo was right. He was overthinking it. Kuroo had grabbed his hand because he wanted to stop Kei from walking away. That was all. There was no reason to read anything into it.

“Are you still lying to your best friend?” Kuroo asked, as he followed Kei down an aisle of the store.

Kei blinked. “Excuse me?”

“That guy with the freckles you’re always with. He’s your best friend, right? That time I talked to you in front of him you lied about what you were doing.”

Kei had got so caught up in his thoughts that it took him a moment to remember that Kuroo still thought he was concerned about being seen. He glanced at the storekeeper, but she was reading the _Daily Prophet_ at the till and didn’t appear to be listening. Neither of them had said anything revealing anyway.

“That has nothing to do with you,” Kei said, pretending to study a set of silver instruments he didn’t even know the use for.

It was the same thing he’d said to Tadashi, when they’d argued about just this. But unlike Tadashi, Kuroo didn’t look at all fazed by Kei’s bluntness. He just leaned against a shelf, watching Kei, and said calmly, “I just think it must be hard, keeping everything to yourself.”

The only hard thing about it was fielding everybody’s irritating questions.

“There’s nothing to tell.”

He couldn’t look at Kuroo, though he was hyper-aware of Kuroo’s eyes on him. He was overthinking everything, and he was starting to realise why.

Regardless of the fact that Kuroo had said that he liked to provoke Kei, he was always kind and patient. He wasn’t intimidated by Kei’s bad personality. He always read Kei’s coolness as an invitation instead of being put off by it. He was smart, and good at Quidditch. He was sexy and confident, and even though he teased Kei, he never made fun of him, despite his inexperience.

The problem wasn’t Kuroo trying to hold his hand. The problem was that Kei wanted him to.

And that scared him, because they were supposed to be just having fun until Kuroo graduated from school. There were never meant to be feelings involved. That was the way Kei liked things. He was _good_ at being dispassionate. He didn’t _want_ more. He didn’t want things at all, ever. Not when it always just led to suffering later.

But he thought he might be falling in love with Kuroo.

He had to end this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And to think Tsukki was all, “Omg a boy talked to me” in chapter one. They grow up so fast.
> 
> I spent way too much time considering wizarding sex (there goes my childhood) and the lack of internet in the wizarding world, hence 'The Penetrating Guide'. Condoms seemed like a very Muggle invention, so I left them out, but that doesn’t mean you should. Practice safe sex, folks.
> 
> Next chapter: Gryffindor faces off against Ravenclaw, and Kei faces up to Kuroo.


	7. Match Five: Gryffindor versus Ravenclaw

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kei fucks up.

It was a relief when the Easter holiday ended and the castle filled up with students again. It made it easier to avoid Kuroo. Of course, Kei would probably have to deal with him sooner or later, but maybe with some time apart, his feelings would go away and it would be easier to end it.

Or maybe he was just hoping that Kuroo would get caught up in Quidditch and his NEWT exams, and forget about Kei without him having to say anything at all.

He was also pretty sure that when Tadashi returned from home, their fight would end. Because of the two week holiday, they hadn’t spoken in a month. It was the longest they’d ever gone without talking. They’d never had a fight like this before. Kei wasn’t very good at keeping friends. Either people liked you or they didn’t. There was no sense in chasing after them. But it was unlike Tadashi to maintain a silence.

He should have known that it wouldn’t be so easy.

It started out well enough. As he’d expected, Tadashi spoke as soon as they were alone in the dormitory on Sunday night.

“Kei, can we talk?”

Kei had been loitering, straightening his already tidy side of the room, just in case Tadashi wanted to say something. He took a moment longer to lay out his pyjamas, then turned around to face Tadashi, who was kneeling in front of his trunk, unpacking his belongings.

“Sure.”

Tadashi scrambled to his feet and said, “About the fight we had last term, I wanted to say I’m sorry. I should have just minded my own business-”

“Let’s just forget about it,” Kei interrupted. He didn’t want to rehash everything. He just wanted it to get back to normal.

“Yeah, sure, I’d like that,” Tadashi said quickly. But he still looked anxious. “I just want to say this first. If you don’t want to tell me about your girlfriend, then just say that. You don’t need to lie to me.”

Kei rolled his eyes. This again. “I wasn’t lying.”

“Seriously?” Tadashi said indignantly. “You lied to me all the time. I know you don’t have that many prefect meetings, and I know what time the library closes, Kei.”

Kei made an impatient noise. This was all so unnecessary. He wasn’t going to be meeting Kuroo again, so he wouldn’t have any more need to lie about where he went. But of course he couldn’t explain that to Tadashi.

“Fine.” Part of him felt like he should be apologising too. But if Tadashi had known that he was lying, then why had he kept on asking? Whether Tadashi stopped asking, or Kei stopped answering, wasn’t the end result the same? So instead he just said, “I won’t lie to you again.”

“Okay,” Tadashi said, with a relieved smile. “Good. Thank you.”

“I wasn’t talking about that when I said I wasn’t lying though. I meant about the girlfriend,” Kei said. He wasn’t sure why it mattered, but for some reason he wanted Tadashi to know this. “I really don’t have one.”

But because Shouyou Hinata existed solely to aggravate Kei, the redhead chose that moment to come bouncing into the dormitory. Apparently he’d only listened to one word of the conversation, because he said eagerly, “Are you guys talking about Kei’s girlfriend? Can you believe anyone would actually go out with this guy?”

“Wh-what?” Tadashi said uncertainly.

“Shut up, Shouyou,” Kei said at the same time.

But Shouyou ignored Kei and said to Tadashi, “Yeah, he snuck off to visit her during the holiday and came back with his neck covered in hickeys.”

“I told you to shut up!” Kei snapped.

“But you guys were already talking about it!” Shouyou argued.

It was too late. The damage was already done. Tadashi took a step back and said quietly, “I really don’t get you, Kei.”

“Tadashi,” Kei said impatiently, then stopped. Really, what could he say?

“Talk to me again when you can be honest,” Tadashi said, and walked out of the dormitory.

Kei rounded on Shouyou, furious. “I told you not to tell anyone!”

“I thought he already knew!” Shouyou said, looking confused and defensive. “I mean, he’s your best friend. Why don’t you just tell him?”

“It’s none of your business.”

“Jeez. Why are you making such a big deal about it? If I got a girlfriend I’d tell everybody, even if she was in Slytherin.”

“Were you not listening when I told you to keep your bloody mouth shut?”

“I’m sorry, okay?” But apparently Shouyou had known Kei for too long to be intimidated by his anger. Already he’d turned his back to gather his toiletries for a shower. Then he swung around abruptly, like a thought had just occurred to him. “You’re not going to tell Ukai about the drinking, are you?”

Kei wasn’t, obviously. He wasn’t stupid enough to get the majority of the Gryffindor team banned from Quidditch six days before their final match of the season. The entire House would hate him until the day he graduated - if he lived that long. They’d probably feed him to the Giant Squid, or shove him off the Astronomy Tower before the end of the year.

But he wasn’t above letting Shouyou stew in terror for a while.

“It depends on what mood I’m in when I see him.”

He didn’t go after Tadashi. And when Tadashi returned to the dormitory later that night to sleep and avoided looking at him, Kei didn’t say anything. Because as far as Tadashi was concerned, the marks on Kei’s neck were proof that he’d lied again, after promising that he wouldn’t just moments before. And the only way to explain that he hadn’t got them from a girl was to admit that they’d come from a guy.

And Kei _couldn’t_ say that.

He’d rather have Tadashi hate him over a misunderstanding than for the truth.

 

* * *

 

On Wednesday morning, Kei was on his way to lunch after his careers counselling session, when he heard an all too familiar, “Hey, hey, hey! Tsukki!”

Kei barely had time to return a greeting before Bokuto was throwing an arm over his shoulders and dragging him in the opposite direction, with a cheerful, “This way!”

“Where are we going?” Kei asked, ducking out from under Bokuto’s arm. People were staring at them. Fortunately Kei didn’t know any of them.

“To the courtyard. I have a very important question for you.”

“Can’t you ask me here?”

“Nope!”

When they reached the courtyard, Kei wasn’t surprised to see Kuroo and Akaashi already there. What did surprise him was the bizarre scene they were sitting in. On the grass there was a blue carpet decorated with the Tutshill Tornadoes crest, on top of which was a large chess table and a number of mismatched chairs, including a deck chair, a park bench and a wooden rocking chair.

“Look who I found on my way from the kitchens!” Bokuto announced.

“Hey, Tsukki,” Kuroo said with a grin, from where he was stretched out on a chaise longue. “Pull up a chair.”

“I can’t stay,” Kei said, eyeing the selection of chairs. “I have to get to lunch. Are you setting up a furniture store?”

“We’re practicing conjuration spells.”

As Kuroo spoke, he waved his wand and a penguin appeared on the carpet with a _pop_. He would never let it show, but Kei was secretly impressed. Conjuration was NEWT level, so he wouldn’t start to learn it until his sixth year, but he could tell that this was advanced even for a seventh year.

“Eat with us!” Bokuto said, dropping into a squashy yellow armchair that wouldn’t have looked out of place in the Hufflepuff common room. “I asked the house elves to send our food here today.”

“No, thank you,” Kei said, watching the penguin as it waddled under the table. He could feel Akaashi scrutinising him, and it made him uncomfortable. He wondered whether Akaashi could tell that Kei was avoiding looking at Kuroo. “I should go.”

“Wait, Tsukki!” Bokuto said. “I had a question!”

Kei stopped, half turned away.

“You guys are going to crush Ravenclaw on Saturday, right?” Bokuto demanded.

“Yeah, right!” Kuroo snorted. “I already told Bokuto, we won’t go easy on you just because you lost your previous games, Tsukki. We’re definitely going to win.”

“Ah. Right,” Kei said blandly. As the only team to have won both their first two games, if Ravenclaw won their last one, they’d be guaranteed the Quidditch Cup. He smiled. “I guess this is an important game for you. But for us it doesn’t really make a difference. So we could throw the match for you, if you’d like.”

“What?” Bokuto squawked, before Kuroo could answer, sitting up straight in his seat. “You have to play your best, Tsukishima! Don’t let those bird brains beat you!”

“You’re just saying that because if Ravenclaw loses we still have a chance to win the Cup,” Akaashi said calmly, from his high-backed leather armchair. He was busy conjuring an elegant black and white tea set with yellow roses onto the chess table.

“That’s not true!” Bokuto exclaimed. “We played our best against Gryffindor, so they have to as well! Plus, I wanna see Tsukki’s team win!”

“Because then we can win the Cup.”

“No! Because they’ve worked really hard this year!”

Akaashi fixed him with a level gaze, and Bokuto dropped his eyes and mumbled, “Fine, and I wanna win.” Then he looked back up at Kei and said earnestly, “But I really do think it’s cool how hard you’ve been working, Tsukki. I wish our team would stay and practice in the holidays.”

“No,” Akaashi said flatly.

“Well, it’s too late _now_!”

“It doesn’t matter if you throw the match, or try your hardest, Tsukki,” Kuroo said with an easy smile. He was annoyingly difficult to provoke. “Ravenclaw’s still going to win.”

“That’s a lot of confidence for a team that relies on their Seeker to win every time,” Kei said, returning Kuroo’s smile. “You were behind on points in both games until you got the Snitch, weren’t you?”

“By about twenty points. Remind me how far behind Slytherin you were?”

“At least we didn’t just rely on our Seeker’s luck. But who knows? Maybe you’ll get lucky again. Well, we’ll see on Saturday. Enjoy your lunch.”

As soon as Kei turned his back, he let his smile drop into a scowl. But he was only halfway down the corridor when Kuroo caught up to him. He grabbed the edge of Kei’s sleeve to make him stop and then let go immediately as Kei turned to face him.

There were still a few other students in sight, but Kuroo kept his voice low as he said, “Hey. It’s been a while. We haven’t hung out since Hogsmeade.”

“I saw you every day in the library,” Kei pointed out, shooting a look at a couple of Hufflepuff third years that made them speed up as they passed.

He knew that sitting in silence, with Daichi and Asahi on the other side of the table, wasn’t what Kuroo meant. He’d passed Kei a couple of notes in the second week of the holiday, asking him to meet up again. But Kei had turned him down each time, claiming that he couldn’t get away without raising more suspicion.

It was probably true. Shouyou had seemed determined to catch Kei with his supposed girlfriend after the hickey incident, since he obviously had nothing better to do. Mostly though, he’d just sent Kei knowing looks when the Slytherin girl he thought Kei was dating was in the Great Hall at mealtimes. Fortunately none of the rest of the team had caught on.

“Are you avoiding me?” Kuroo asked.

Yes. But this wasn’t the time or the place for that conversation.

“I don’t think we should meet until after the Quidditch game,” Kei said instead. If they had to talk, it would be better to wait until then. It just seemed less messy. He wouldn’t have to face Kuroo again after the match.

Kuroo raised his eyebrows. Apparently he knew Kei well enough to know that he was perfectly capable of keeping his personal life off the Quidditch pitch. But for some reason he sounded relieved when he said, “I thought maybe you-” He cut himself off as a gaggle of fourth-year girls passed them, then grinned as he continued. “You know I was just teasing you, right?”

He was talking about their conversation in the courtyard, but Kei meant more than just that when he replied, “I know that.”

“Okay. If you want to keep things professional until the game, I can respect that.” Kuroo glanced down the corridor to make sure that nobody else was nearby, then lowered his voice further to say, “Meet me after the game and we can make things very _un_ professional.”

Kei knew he should just scoff and shrug it off, but his heart was beating uncomfortably. He wanted to say _I can’t do this anymore_ , but he couldn’t. Not here. Not when Kuroo was smiling at him like that, like nothing had changed.

“I’m not sure that’s a good idea,” Kei said, dropping his eyes to frown at the floor.

_Let’s stop meeting._

But of course, Kei was so seldom enthusiastic about anything, unless Kuroo provoked him to it, that Kuroo didn’t read anything into his reticence. As far as he knew, all Kei was thinking of was the potential awkwardness of meeting after one of them had lost the Quidditch match against the other.

“Don’t worry, Tsukki. If we thrash your team again, I’ll make it up to you.”

“And when we win?” Kei asked, despite himself.

“I’ll let you decide,” Kuroo said, with his most suggestive smile. “Meet me in the locker room after the game?”

“No,” Kei said. The Gryffindors might not care if Kei disappeared straight after the match, but the Ravenclaws would certainly notice their captain’s absence. Was Kuroo not even thinking? “The Ancient Runes classroom. After dinner.”

The classroom was on the sixth floor, directly between their two common, which meant they would go in separate directions as soon as they left. All the better.

“Okay,” Kuroo said, but he looked a little disappointed for a moment and Kei remembered him saying that he was sick of meeting in classrooms. Well, he wouldn’t have to for much longer. But then Kuroo smiled again and held out his hand, like they were making an Unbreakable Vow to meet, or something. “May the best team win.”

Kei shook his hand reluctantly. Kuroo’s hand was warm, and Kei remembered how it had felt on his neck when they kissed, on his stomach when Kuroo had lain pressed up behind him, on his thigh when Kei had been on top of him. That hand around him, inside him. He let go quickly and put his own hands into his pockets, clenching them tightly as if he could squeeze away the memories.

Kuroo looked over Kei’s shoulder and waved to somebody down the corridor with a smile. Then he turned his attention back to Kei and said, “I’ll see you soon, Tsukki.”

When Kuroo left, Kei turned to see Daichi walking towards him.

“What did he want?” Daichi asked, frowning at Kuroo’s back as the Ravenclaw captain walked away.

He’d just been offering Kei sexual favours.

“He was just saying good luck for the game.”

But Daichi didn’t seem to believe that. And why would he? The captain of the Ravenclaw team had no reason to be wishing luck to an opponent. Especially not one that, as far as Daichi knew, he wasn’t even familiar with.

“That guy’s as scheming as a Slytherin,” Daichi said. “He likes to play mind games with people. Don’t let him get to you.”

Too late.

“Right.”

 

* * *

 

The night before the match, Kei couldn’t sleep.

He should have just ended things with Kuroo back in the corridor. He should have ended it in Hogsmeade, the moment he realised that he was falling for Kuroo. The more he thought about it, the more the evening of the match seemed like a terrible time to do it. Either Kuroo would be in high spirits from winning the Cup, and Kei would look like a sore loser, or Kuroo would be disappointed by his loss, and Kei would look like a complete arsehole.

Well. Whatever, Kei thought irritably, rolling onto his side and pulling his blanket over his head. Kuroo could easily find somebody else to celebrate his victory with, or commiserate over losing with. He didn’t need Kei for that.

Kei just had to deal with it and move on.

 

* * *

 

Kei had never seen the school so worked up about a Quidditch match before. Gryffindor had been a strong team once, back when his brother was still at Hogwarts, but nobody had expected much from them in years. But since the match against Hufflepuff, everybody had been looking at them with new eyes. Gryffindor was stronger than it had been in a long time.

Kei had never thought he’d see the day when Slytherin was cheering for Gryffindor to succeed at anything - their House rivalry was as old as Hogwarts itself. So they were all astonished when Tooru Oikawa, captain of the Slytherin team, approached their table at breakfast before the match and said to Tobio, “You’d better not lose, Tobikins.”

While the rest of the Gryffindors gaped, and one girl actually squealed in delight, Tobio glared up at Oikawa from his seat and growled, “I won’t.”

Of course, the reason for all the support was that Ravenclaw was the only team that hadn’t lost a game this season. That meant that if they won this last match, they’d win the Quidditch Cup. If they lost, however, both Slytherin and Hufflepuff would still have a shot against them when they faced off in two weeks for the final match of the season. It would all come down to who had the most points.

“So we still have a chance of winning the Cup?” Shouyou had exclaimed, excited, when he heard this a few days earlier.

“No, Ravenclaw will still have won more games than us,” Daichi reminded him.

Shouyou sagged, scratching the back of his head in disappointed embarrassment. “Oh, right. I forgot.”

“Even if it were on points alone, we’d need to score at least five hundred in this game to have a chance at winning the Cup,” Kei said.

“We could do it!”

Kei rolled his eyes. “Go ahead and try.”

But judging by the grim atmosphere in the locker room just before the match, it seemed they were determined to try. They may not have a chance at winning the Cup anymore, but if they could topple the current favourite, that in itself would be enough to prove that all their hard work hadn’t been for nothing. If they could beat the team who had won against both Slytherin and Hufflepuff, it would almost make up for losing against those teams themselves.

As the team got up to file out of the locker room and onto the pitch, Ryuu said abruptly, “Kei.”

Kei stopped and turned around, raising an eyebrow. The rest of the team looked between them curiously, but Ryuu didn’t speak again until they’d all left.

“Ravenclaw’s going to try to rack up the points, to give them a lead in case they don’t win this game,” Ryuu said, when they were alone. “Don’t let them.”

Kei’s other eyebrow rose to meet the first. He may not be the most hot-blooded member of the team, but he’d attended every practice this year without complaint. He’d even sacrificed both his holidays for this. And he knew he was a much better Keeper than the one who had faced off against Slytherin in November. So he wasn’t sure why he’d been held back just to be told things he already knew. Especially by Ryuu Tanaka, instead of the team captain.

“I know,” he said and waited for an explanation for the impromptu pep talk.

“Do your best out there.”

“Right.”

“Merlin. Say it like you mean it!”

“… Okay.”

So apparently there wasn’t a point. Kei left the locker room with the nagging feeling that he was missing something important, until he stepped onto the pitch and let himself be distracted by the roar of the crowd.

Three quarters of the stands were holding up banners and flags in Gryffindor’s red and gold. Kei wondered briefly whether Tadashi was up there to support him today. Not Gryffindor - of course Tadashi wanted his House to win - but Kei, his best friend, who he had always encouraged to never give up.

In the centre of the pitch, Daichi and Kuroo shook hands. They were both smiling, but Kei could tell they were faking from halfway across the pitch. Both captains wholeheartedly wanted to win.

Kei found himself suddenly remembering Kuroo saying _If Ravenclaw wins the Cup, I want it to be because we were the best team, not because the other teams weren’t good_. He remembered the night Kuroo had climbed onto the back of Kei’s broom in the rain and taught him how to fly faster. Kei had no intention of going easy on Ravenclaw, whatever he felt for Kuroo. He wanted to show Kuroo everything he’d learnt since November. He wanted to beat him.

The whistle blew and Kei kicked off into the air, clearing his mind of everything but Quidditch. Ryuu. Tadashi. Kuroo. None of that mattered anymore.

“ _There’s a lot of expectation for this match, folks,_ ” commentator Terushima’s voice announced through his magical microphone. “ _On one side, we have the undefeated Ravenclaws, who are the current favourites to win - though personally I’m still confident Hufflepuff will win the Cup. On the other side, we have Gryffindor, with nothing but losses and a few bad years behind them. But everybody loves an underdog!_ ”

As in every game Kei had watched, the Ravenclaw team had a slow start while they analysed their opponents. Kei kept an eye on their Seeker, Kenma Kozume, who hovered high above the rest of the players, while Gryffindor soared forty points ahead. When Kozume flew down and started to communicate with the rest of his team, Kei knew it was time to be on his guard.

_“Azumane is looking nervous today. He quit the team after Gryffindor’s dismal failure against Ravenclaw last year and it looks like he’s worried about a repeat performance. Ooh! Good save by Ravenclaw captain Tetsurou Kuroo. And it looks like Ravenclaw’s gearing up for their counterattack!”_

Ravenclaw had a good, solid team, but they didn’t have any outstanding Chasers like Bokuto, or Oikawa, or Tobio. Kei was fairly confident that he could handle them, as he blocked shot after shot. It was like he could read where the ball would go before it even left the Chasers’ hands.

Kei didn’t take his eyes off the Quaffle as Lev Haiba shot towards him like an arrow. At the last second, he tossed the ball to Morisuke Yaku and Kei was forced to whip in the opposite direction, leaning into his broom the way Kuroo had taught him to make the most of his Moonbeam’s speed. He got behind the ball and caught it to his chest like it was the easiest thing in the world.

The crowd roared. It felt like the greatest save of Kei’s life. He felt like he could do it again a hundred times.

“ _Tsukishima’s on a roll today! He’s working that international racing broom for all it’s worth. Look at him blur!_ ”

The problem was that the Ravenclaw team was so cohesive that they got to the goals far more frequently than they should, and Kei barely had a moment of respite. Gradually, Ravenclaw caught up and the two teams fought neck-and-neck for the next hundred and fifty points.

_“Gryffindor hasn’t won a match since Nishinoya broke school records by catching the Snitch within six minutes when they faced Hufflepuff last year. Looks like they’re trying to set a record for the longest match, this time.”_

Kei’s palms were stinging, and his muscles were starting to ache. If it hadn’t been for their all-day practices during the holidays, he wasn’t sure he’d have been able to stand such a long match.

It was another half an hour before everybody in the stands suddenly jumped to their feet, screaming and waving their red and gold flags.

 _“Nishinoya’s spotted the Snitch! Kozume’s in close pursuit. Go, go, Nishinoya! Don’t let Ravenclaw get the Cup! He’s done it! Nishinoya’s got the Snitch! Gryffindor wins, three hundred and seventy to two hundred and ten!_ ”

When Kei hit the ground, he stopped for a moment to look up at the hoops. Bokuto had been right. Back in November, he’d said, _If you have a moment like that, then you’ll really get hooked on Quidditch._ And Kei had had fun today. He’d thought he would be glad to be done with Quidditch for the season. But he found himself looking forward to his next game.

A moment later, he was surrounded by his teammates, all laughing and congratulating each other on their victory.

“I’m sorry I ever doubted you,” Ryuu said, slapping Kei hard enough on the back to push him a step forward.

“That was the best you’ve ever played,” Daichi told Kei.

“Next year we’ll definitely win the Cup!” Shouyou swore.

 _Yes_ , Kei thought. _I want that. I want to win again._

 

* * *

 

If Kei hadn’t let his stupid emotions get in the way, he could have finished off his day with sex with the captain of the Ravenclaw team. Instead, he pushed his dinner around his plate and avoided looking up at the Ravenclaw table until the Great Hall began to clear and he had no choice but to head up to the Ancient Runes classroom.

When he arrived, Kuroo was already there, leaning against the professor’s desk, near the door.

“Congratulations,” he said with a smile, as soon as Kei had closed the door. “All my teaching backfired on me. You were amazing today.”

“I did tell you,” Kei muttered. Why did Kuroo have to be so fucking nice? Couldn’t he at least sound a little bitter about losing?

“So what do I get in return for my lessons?” Kuroo asked, his smile turning a touch lascivious as he pushed away from the desk.

“Kuroo,” Kei started, then cut off when he hit the door as he took a step back.

“I told you to call me Tetsurou.”

Kei turned his face away, expecting Kuroo to try to kiss him, but instead Kuroo wrapped his arms around him and let out a tired sigh. Kei stood frozen, his hands raised slightly at his sides, just centimetres from touching Kuroo’s waist. He knew he should push him away, but he couldn’t get himself to move.

“You don’t have to be so stiff, Tsukki,” Kuroo said near his ear. “I’m not going to hold the match against you. We could still win, you know. Hufflepuff and Slytherin would have to score more than three hundred points to beat us.”

Maybe he wasn’t bitter, but he was disappointed about losing. Kei could hear it in his voice.

For a moment, Kei considered giving in. Just this one last time. Maybe he didn’t have to say anything at all. Would it really be so bad to just let this continue until Kuroo graduated? Kuroo never needed to know how he felt. After all, Kei knew he was good at hiding what he was thinking and feeling.

But he knew he was lying to himself. He didn’t want to feel this way, and being near Kuroo just made it worse.

Kei pushed Kuroo away and slid out from between him and the door. It meant that Kuroo was blocking the exit, but at least Kei had some distance when he faced him and said, “I think we should end this.”

“What? Why?” Kuroo said, looking completely caught off guard.

Kei gripped his left elbow with his right hand. He couldn’t quite meet Kuroo’s eyes when he said, “I need to focus on my studies. I’ve got my OWLs next month.”

“I get that, Kei,” Kuroo said, but he sounded like he didn’t get it at all. “But I’ve got my NEWTs too. Trust me, I know studying comes first right now. We can figure that out. Is this because we had sex?”

“What? Why would it be?” Kei frowned.

“You’ve been weird since then. I _knew_ you were avoiding me. Look, if you’re regretting what happened, or you’re freaking out because you had sex with a guy-”

“It’s got nothing to do with that,” Kei interrupted. It hadn’t even occurred to him. If anything, having sex with Kuroo had just confirmed what he’d already known. He certainly didn’t regret it. “I just don’t see the point in carrying on.”

Kuroo paused. “What does that mean?”

“Well, this is all just a game anyway, so why are we dragging it out?” Kei kept his voice cool, but his heart was thundering and he felt like his body was trembling on the inside.

“A game,” Kuroo repeated flatly.

“That’s what you said, isn’t it? You said you like to provoke me.”

“You think I had sex with you to _provoke_ you?” Kuroo asked, and he sounded suddenly angry.

Kei said nothing. He’d never seen Kuroo angry before. He’d never even seen him properly annoyed. Not when Kei teased him, or even when his team lost the Quidditch match. Kuroo seemed to go through life always at least slightly amused, but there wasn’t the slightest trace of humour on his face now. Kei wasn’t afraid of him, but he suddenly wished he were anywhere else.

“Merlin, Kei. If you thought that, why would you even -?” Kuroo demanded, his voice rising until he cut off abruptly.

Kei didn’t know how to answer. _I wanted to learn from you_ would sound vulgar said aloud. _I wanted you_ was too honest.

“You know what?” Kuroo said, his voice controlled and furious, as he took a step back. “Fuck you. I’m leaving.”

Kei flinched as Kuroo slammed the door behind him. For a while he stood impassive, counting in his head until he was sure that Kuroo would be out of sight and then he opened the door and stepped out into the corridor.

When he reached Gryffindor Tower, his House mates were still celebrating their victory, as if they’d won the Quidditch Cup itself. It seemed that Ryuu had received another delivery from his sister at the Three Broomsticks pub in Hogsmeade, because most of the older students were drinking Butterbeer.

“Kei! Come drink with us!” somebody - he didn’t know or care who - shouted across the common room.

Without so much as glancing towards them, Kei brushed through the crowd. He headed straight for the fifth-year boys’ dormitory, hoping for some peace and quiet. But Tadashi was already there, kneeling at the foot of his own bed as he dug through his trunk for something. He looked up as Kei shut the door behind him to block out the noise coming from down the stairs, and his eyes widened.

“What’s wrong?”

Kei ignored him, getting onto his own bed and jerking the hangings shut around him. Tadashi hadn’t said a word to him all week. There was no reason to start now. Kei didn’t want to talk to anybody at all. He hated sharing a room. He hated living in a boarding school. He hadn’t been home in nine months and all he wanted was to be in his own bedroom and have some space to himself, without everybody constantly questioning his every action. Was a bit of privacy really so much to ask for?

But Tadashi didn’t take the hint. From the other side of the hangings, he asked cautiously, “Are you okay? Did … Did something happen with your girlfriend?”

“I don’t have a fucking girlfriend,” Kei snapped. “Leave me alone.”

For a moment there was silence, then he heard the door open and close quietly as Tadashi left.

Kei sat in the dark on his bed, with his elbows on his knees. He took off his glasses and pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, trying to force back the prickling feeling behind them. He took a deep, unsteady breath.

He wasn’t going to cry. Not over something stupid like this. He wasn’t a child smashing his own toys and then crying when they were broken. He’d done this himself. It was what he’d wanted. It was for the best. But he felt like he’d made a big mistake.

He hadn’t realised that there was anything that could be broken.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Only one chapter left! Thanks to everybody who's subscribed, bookmarked, left kudos, and especially thanks to those who've commented so far. I wouldn't have got this far without you.
> 
> Next chapter: Tsukki talks about his feelings *gasp shock horror*


	8. Match Six: Hufflepuff versus Slytherin

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kei realises Quidditch is an analogy for his love life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: the title is a lie. There is no Hufflepuff-Slytherin game in this chapter. I realised that since neither Tsukki nor Kuroo play in the match, it didn't belong in this fic. I just kept the title for symmetry. So you'll have to wait for the third and final part of the series (about Bokuto and Akaashi) to find out who wins the Cup. Sorry!
> 
> Thanks to everybody who's stuck with this story until the end, and left comments and kudos! This fic is more than twice as long as anything I've ever written before, and it's been a humbling experience XD I really hope you enjoy the final chapter.

Kei told himself that he wasn’t going to speak to Kuroo, or look at him, or think about him after Saturday. There was no point in second-guessing himself now. Regardless of Kuroo’s reaction, it didn’t change the facts. And the fact was, it wasn’t going to work anyway. However he felt about it.

But forgetting everything was proving to be a lot more difficult than he’d anticipated.

“Hi, Kei. Can I talk to you about something?”

Kei looked up from his History of Magic textbook to see Daichi standing over him, and blinked. They were the only two left in the common room. It must have been past midnight already.

“Sure,” Kei said, just to be polite. In truth, Daichi’s serious expression made him wary. He didn’t think he was going to like whatever this was about.

The seventh year sat down in the armchair next to Kei’s and asked, “Are you okay?”

“Why wouldn’t I be?” Kei said neutrally.

“You’ve been really quiet since the match.”

Kei just raised an eyebrow. And? Wasn’t he always quiet?

“More quiet than usual,” Daichi amended. “Shouyou says you haven’t even been bullying him lately. And I haven’t seen you with Tadashi in a while. Did you guys have a falling out?”

“It’s nothing,” Kei said, looking down at his textbook. “I’ve just been busy studying.”

The exams were in four weeks and most of the fifth and seventh years were starting to panic. Personally, Kei had never been one to stress over exams, but lately, he hadn’t been sleeping well, or had much of an appetite. Every day this week, he’d stayed in the library until it closed, then come back to the common room to carry on studying until he was too exhausted and his head hurt too much to think.

He didn’t want to think right now.

If anybody understood exam stress, it should be Daichi, who’d had to escort Asahi to the hospital wing for a Calming Draught just the day before. But Daichi didn’t look at all reassured. His eyebrows were still drawn with captainly concern, and it was making Kei uneasy.

“But I’ll make sure I insult Shouyou the next time I see him, since you’ve asked,” Kei said, hoping to ease the tension.

It worked. For about five seconds.

“For such a polite kid, you sure can be mean sometimes, Kei,” Daichi said, shaking his head. But then his expression grew serious again and he took a deep breath. “Ryuu told me his sister saw you at the Three Broomsticks over Easter. With Tetsurou Kuroo.”

Kei’s heart missed a beat.

Of course. Ryuu’s sister was the bartender at the pub in Hogsmeade. He’d been so caught up at the time overthinking everything with Kuroo that he hadn’t even considered that Saeko might tell her brother that she’d seen one of his teammates with the Ravenclaw captain.

How could he have been so stupid?

“Don’t worry,” Daichi said. “I made him promise not to tell anybody else.”

So that was why Ryuu had pulled Kei aside before the game. He’d probably thought Kei was scheming with Kuroo to throw the match, or something.

Maybe he could shrug it off. Say that they’d just met to talk about Keeping or - or maybe Kei had asked for help with his OWLs. Kuroo was a Ravenclaw, after all. He probably did well in class. He’d say that he really had been conspiring to throw the match, if he thought Daichi would believe it.

But they weren’t supposed to be in Hogsmeade over the holiday at all, and Daichi probably knew that Kuroo was interested in guys. It had been another seventh-year Gryffindor who had first told Kei, after all.

There was nothing he could say. Daichi already knew. Even Ryuu had probably figured it out by now.

“I had to make him swear not to go after Kuroo,” Daichi said, when Kei didn’t answer. It was obvious that he was trying to lighten the mood.

The last time Ryuu had concocted a revenge scheme, it had been to punish Tooru Oikawa for stealing the attention of all the Gryffindor girls. He and Yuu had spent a month brewing a love potion, with the intention of humiliating him by making him fall in love with a professor in front of the whole school. In the end, the potion had had no effect at all, but frankly, Kei thought it was a miracle they hadn’t accidentally poisoned the Slytherin captain and killed him instead.

“If Ryuu wants to pick fights, I’m sure it has nothing to do with me,” Kei said at last, and it came out surprisingly cool.

Daichi had said that Ryuu wouldn’t tell anyone, but could he really trust either of them? After all, this was the same Ryuu who’d more than once threatened to hit him with a Bludger if Kei didn’t stop mouthing off during practice. They weren’t exactly friends. Neither of them had a reason to do Kei any favours.

But Daichi just said seriously, “We’re your teammates, Kei. We’ll always have your back.”

Kei didn’t know what to say to that.

“That’s all I wanted to say.” Daichi reached over and squeezed Kei’s shoulder briefly, then he got to his feet. “If you need any help with the OWLs, you can ask me or Suga. Make sure you get some sleep.”

“Thanks,” Kei said, and they both pretended that he was just talking about the offer to help with his studies.

It was a long time before Kei could focus on his textbook again.

 

* * *

 

It was hard to forget Kuroo when he sat down at the Ravenclaw table directly in Kei’s line of sight at lunchtime. It was even harder to ignore his presence when he was smiling and talking to the pretty girl sitting next to him. She kept touching his arm, and he looked her in the eye as she spoke and didn’t pull away.

Kei pushed his hardly touched plate of food away, and stood up.

“Huh? You done already?” Shouyou asked through a mouthful of steak, looking surprised.

On the other side of the table, a few seats away, Tadashi lifted his head. Kei avoided his gaze.

“I’m not hungry,” he said, already walking away.

“You need to put on some muscle before next season!” Shouyou yelled after him.

Kei went back to the library. It was a Saturday, and he didn’t have anything better to do now that Quidditch practices were finished for the year, so he’d been studying since breakfast. He couldn’t concentrate anymore.

It had been exactly a week since he’d spoken to Kuroo. He’d been trying not to think about it, but it was difficult to forget the expression on Kuroo’s face before he’d turned away and slammed the door behind him, when Kei saw him smiling at somebody else.

Maybe it was more obvious in retrospect, or maybe Kei just hadn’t allowed himself to consider the possibility, but he thought that maybe Kuroo really did like him. Had liked him.

In truth, he didn’t want to consider it now either. There was no point. There never had been. Even if they both liked each other, what difference would it make? They were in different years, and different Houses. There was no plausible reason for the two of them to be seen together. Kuroo might not care about what people thought of him, but Kei didn’t want that sort of attention. Even if Daichi was right in saying that the team would support him.

In the end, they’d still have to sneak around the castle to meet. They couldn’t … _date_ … or whatever it was two guys who liked each did, apart from have sex.

But most importantly, Kuroo was still going to graduate in June. That was _next month_. He was going to leave Hogwarts behind, along with its curfews, rules, House points and all the other preoccupations of their childhoods. His concerns would be his Auror training and learning to live like an adult. Not some schoolboy dalliance.

And yet, Kei couldn’t stop thinking about the way things had ended. He’d never seen Kuroo angry before. All Kei had wanted was a clean break, and instead everything felt like a mess.

Kei pushed up his glasses and pinched the bridge of his nose. He needed to forget about all this. He was just going around in circles.

Somebody dropped into the seat next to him, and Kei looked up with a scowl, opening his mouth to tell them that this table was taken. But when he saw Tadashi, looking at him with a mixture of nervousness  and determination, the words died.

“Are you okay?” Tadashi asked.

Why was he being asked that again? He’d checked his face in the mirror after Daichi had spoken to him, so he knew he looked the same as always. There was nothing wrong with him.

“I’m trying to study,” Kei said shortly, though his textbook wasn’t even open.

“That’s not what I asked,” Tadashi said, undeterred. “I know it’s none of my business, but … You always get stuck in your head about things. And, um. I think maybe it helps talking about it.”

Kei’s first instinct was dismiss Tadashi’s words, and say that he had no idea what he was talking about. The only thing Kei had on his mind was his exams. But he’d promised Tadashi he wouldn’t lie anymore. And Tadashi had helped him before, when he got caught up in wondering what the point of trying hard for Quidditch was.

But this was different.

“This isn’t something you can help with,” Kei said, flipping his book open at random so that he wouldn’t have to look at Tadashi.

“I can listen.”

 _I think it must be hard, keeping everything to yourself_.

Kuroo had said that.

Kei thought of all the people who already knew the truth about him, without him having any say in it. Kuroo. Bokuto and Akaashi. Daichi. Even Ryuu and his sister, Saeko, apparently. A year ago, nobody had known, and now six did. It still made him uncomfortable, and he still wanted to keep his life private, but at the same time, he’d been surprisingly reassured by Daichi’s support. He wouldn’t have thought that he’d care about that sort of thing.

“Sorry,” Tadashi said, wilting under the long silence. He scrambled to his feet. “I won’t bother you again.”

“Wait,” Kei said. If there was anybody he could trust, if there was anybody who he actually _wanted_ to tell, it was his best friend. “Let’s go outside. We can’t talk in here.”

Outside, the weather was warm and sunny. Tadashi filled the silence as they left the castle with six weeks worth of missed conversation. He didn’t seem to mind that Kei barely responded. He was used to that.

When they started to walk along the edge of the lake, Kei shoved his fists into his pockets and looked straight ahead as he said, “I wasn’t lying before, when I said I didn’t have a girlfriend.”

“Okay,” Tadashi said warily.

Kei’s heart was pounding. His face was impassive.

“The person I was seeing was Tetsurou Kuroo.”

“The Ravenclaw Quidditch captain?” Tadashi sounded confused. “Isn’t he a seventh year?”

“Yeah,” Kei said, though he didn’t see what Kuroo’s year had to do with anything.

“What were you doing with him?”

Kei raised an eyebrow. Seriously? Did he really have to spell it out? He knew Tadashi was a virgin, but this was a bit much. “What do you think?”

“Playing … Quidditch?” Tadashi asked, sounding very uncertain.

“Yes. Well. That,” Kei said. He could feel his face flushing, so he covered his embarrassment with a scowl and looked away, out across the lake. “And having sex.”

Tadashi halted. “You’re - you’re joking, right?”

Kei’s scowl deepened as he stopped too and turned back to face Tadashi. What had he been thinking? This had been a terrible idea. Tadashi wouldn’t want to hear this from somebody he had to share a bedroom with for another two years.

“Are you gay?” Tadashi asked, when Kei didn’t answer. He looked completely thrown.

“Yes,” Kei said, keeping his voice calm and matter-of-fact. And then, just because he could, just because he’d never said it out loud before, he added, “I’m gay.”

“Since when?”

“Since always,” Kei snapped. _Idiot_. He wasn’t even sure if the thought was for Tadashi or for himself. “I wasn’t magically _turned gay_. I wasn’t hit with a curse, or given a love potion, or any of the other stupid shit people say. It doesn’t work like that.”

“S-sorry,” Tadashi stuttered. “That wasn’t what I meant. I’m just surprised, okay? I had no idea. I meant, how long have you known?”

“Since I was twelve.”

“Since first year?” Tadashi looked dismayed. “Why did you never say anything?”

“Why should I have to? It’s not as if you ever had to tell me that you liked girls.”

“Yeah, but … I did, though? I told you when I liked somebody and who I thought was pretty and stuff.”

“It’s not the same,” Kei said bitterly, looking away.

“I guess,” Tadashi said. “But you know you can, if you want to, right? Tell me stuff?”

Kei swallowed.

“Like, if something happened with Tetsurou Kuroo, you can tell me.” Tadashi’s voice sharpened suddenly with anxiety when he added, “He didn’t do anything, did he?”

Kei almost laughed. “No.”

“So what happened?”

“It doesn’t matter,” Kei said. It was a relief, to be done with all the secrets and the lying. But at the same time, he felt exhausted. He wanted to go back to the library and forget everything but his studies. He wanted to go to bed and actually have a good night’s sleep for a change. “It’s over. He’s graduating next month. There’s no point in dragging out something that’s going to end anyway.”

Tadashi frowned. “Is that what he said?”

“No. I was the one who ended it.”

“So, he didn’t want to?” Tadashi asked, and waited for Kei’s shrug before he continued. “And you didn’t want to. So-”

“What makes you think I didn’t want to end it?” Kei interrupted, eyebrows rising coolly.

“Because you’ve barely been eating or sleeping all week, and I know you don’t stress about exams,” Tadashi said.

“They’re important exams,” Kei muttered defensively. Had Tadashi really been paying that much attention? Even when they weren’t speaking to each other?

“So if neither of you wanted to end it, then why did you?”

“It was going to end anyway.”

“Kei,” Tadashi said. “You realise this is Quidditch all over again, right? You thought it was pointless, so you didn’t want to try at first. But in the end, even though you guys didn’t win the Cup, it was still worth it, right?”

Kei thought about how much he’d improved over the past year, at Keeping and at flying. He remembered the satisfaction he got when he managed to block Koutarou Bokuto’s powerful shots in the Hufflepuff game, and when they’d won against Ravenclaw.

He never would have spoken to Kuroo, and spent so many Saturday evenings on the pitch learning from him and playing games with him, Akaashi and Bokuto, if it hadn’t been for Quidditch. He never would have stayed at school for the holidays, and visited _two_ other Houses’ common rooms, or drunk Firewhiskey and set off fireworks at the top of the Astronomy Tower.

Even the time he’d spent training with the Gryffindor team hadn’t been awful. He wouldn’t go so far as to call them friends, but they’d lost together and won together, and they were a team.

Despite all its inconveniences, it had been a good year.

“I’m sorry we fought,” Kei said at last. He knew it was long overdue.

“Same. Thanks for telling me the truth,” Tadashi said with a small smile. “So … What are you going to do about Tetsurou Kuroo?”

“Tell him the truth, I suppose.”

 

* * *

 

Kei didn’t think of himself as a particularly brave person, but he’d never thought he was a coward either. If he thought about things rationally, there generally wasn’t anything to be afraid of. When he’d stood up to the boys bullying Tadashi in first year, he’d known they couldn’t hurt him. None of them had learnt any real hexes yet, and they were all smaller than him. And when he’d played Quidditch with a dislocated finger, he’d known that his team needed him, and that it could be healed right after the match.

There was no sense in getting worked up over things.

Ever since he’d found out that his brother had lied to him, Kei had resolved not to hope for anything. He wasn’t going to be a dragon tamer. He wasn’t going to be a Quidditch star. He wasn’t going to fall in love. But he was starting to realise that choosing not to care about things was really just a fear of failure. It was an act of cowardice.

He wasn’t going to run away anymore.

Still, it took all of his courage to walk to Ravenclaw Tower on Sunday afternoon, and waiting twenty minutes in the corridor for a Ravenclaw to appear wasn’t much easier.

He’d been hoping that the first person to arrive would be some anonymous first year who wouldn’t have any interest in Kuroo’s affairs and would instantly forget Kei after delivering his message. But the one who finally rounded the corner was the Ravenclaw Seeker, Kenma Kozume.

Besides being teammates, Kozume almost always sat next to Kuroo at mealtimes, so Kei assumed they must be friends, even though the Seeker was in the year below Kuroo. Kei remembered him, because seeing them together had made Kei feel a little relieved to know that Kuroo didn’t only like people who were loud and outgoing, like Bokuto, and his other teammates, Taketora Yamamoto and Lev Haiba.

Kozume took one look at Kei, and then avoided his gaze as he approached the spiral staircase up to Ravenclaw Tower with his shoulders hunched.

“Excuse me,” Kei said politely.

Kozume stopped. He glanced up at Kei, then off to one side.

“Could you please tell Tetsurou Kuroo that Kei Tsukishima would like to talk to him, if he’s not busy.”

Kozume nodded and then disappeared up the stairs.

The minutes dragged by and Kei only got more restless as he waited. He knew how to get inside Ravenclaw Tower himself, of course, but he wasn’t about to barge into Kuroo’s House uninvited. Besides, he wanted Kuroo to talk to him of his own accord. If he didn’t want to see Kei again, then all he had to do was not come down, and that would be the end of it.

Kuroo arrived after either ten minutes or half a lifetime - it was hard to be sure. For once, he wasn’t smiling at all, and Kei felt his anxiety spike.

“Thanks for coming,” Kei said, glancing down the corridor to make sure nobody else was there, even though he’d only seen one other person in half an hour. “Sorry for bothering you.”

“It’s fine,” Kuroo said, his tone inscrutable. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you too. Do you want to find an empty classroom, or …?”

“No,” Kei said quickly. The only thing they’d ever done in classrooms was hook up, and he didn’t want Kuroo to think that that was what he was hoping for. But he didn’t want to stand right in front of the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower either, where any of Kuroo’s friends might walk past. “Let’s just walk for a bit.”

“Someone might see us together.”

“It’s fine. The Quidditch season is over for both of us,” Kei said as they started to walk, thinking of Ryuu’s suspicion about them scheming to throw the match. “There’s nobody up here anyway. They’re all doing revision.”

After a moment’s awkward silence, it occurred to Kei to add, “Unless it’s a problem for you.”

“No,” Kuroo said calmly. “I would have kissed you in the Great Hall in front of everyone, if I’d thought you wanted me to.”

Kei almost missed a step. But Kuroo didn’t even glance at him as he walked onwards with his usual slouch, as if he hadn’t just said something extraordinary. For a long moment, there was silence. Everything Kei had prepared to say had completely flown from his mind.

Of course, he would never _want_ Kuroo to kiss him in front of the entire school. Even if it wasn’t such a big thing for two guys to be seen together, he’d hate that sort of public display of affection. But the fact that Kuroo wouldn’t mind being seen with him like that completely threw him for a loop.

When they reached a massive corridor, with the afternoon sunlight streaming in through tall, arched windows that looked out onto the mountains, Kuroo stopped. He sighed as he scrubbed a hand through his already messy hair, making it stick up even more, and said, “I guess I’ll go first, then, shall I?”

Kei said nothing. He resisted the urge to cross his arms.

“I’m sorry about the way I reacted last week,” Kuroo said, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I shouldn’t have lost my temper at you. I just felt - anyway, I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.”

“Look, I’m just going to be honest with you. If all you want is casual sex, then that’s your own decision, but I’m not into that kind of thing.”

“I don’t-” Kei cut himself off. “I thought that’s what you wanted.”

“ _Why?_ ” Kuroo asked, like he couldn’t understand it at all.

“Because …” Kei frowned at the floor. “You’re older, and experienced. And you have a lot of friends. And … you’re good-looking, I suppose. And you’re the captain of the Ravenclaw team.”

“What does that have to do with anything?”

“Well - I’m not … any of that.” This was so embarrassing. With more of his usual coolness, Kei added, “And anyway, all we ever did was hook up and you’re about to graduate so-”

“That’s not true,“ Kuroo interrupted, eyebrows furrowing. “We went flying together, and I invited you to New Year’s, and-”

“That was Bokuto.”

“Yeah, because he knew I liked you.”

Kei hesitated. That had been _five months ago_ , before they’d so much as kissed. Had Kuroo really liked him? For all that time?

Kei had spent so much time downplaying their interactions in his head that he hadn’t actually realised just how much time they’d spent together over the past half year, outside of hooking up. Saturday nights flying with him, Akaashi and Bokuto. Almost every day in the library over the holidays. New Year’s Eve. Hogsmeade. He hadn’t wanted to overthink and see things that weren’t there.

Maybe he’d just been afraid to admit what really was there.

But how was he supposed to know? He had nothing to compare to. And besides -

“You said you liked provoking me,” Kei said stubbornly.

“I didn’t mean it like that. I mean, yeah, I like teasing you, but … You always pretend that nothing affects you. I just like getting a genuine reaction out of you.”

“That’s called bullying.”

Kuroo huffed a surprised laugh. “I just mean I like getting you to be honest.”

Kei had no comeback for that. He felt so conflicted that he wasn’t even sure what honesty would entail right now.

The smile slid off Kuroo’s face. He sighed and said, “I’m sorry. The first time I was with a guy, I ended up really regretting it, so I didn’t want to push you into anything. And I know you don’t like talking about things, so I just kind of went along with it. But I should have at least made sure we were on the same page.”

“Sorry. I assumed …”

“Yeah. I feel a bit used, to be honest,” Kuroo said. He shrugged his shoulders like it didn’t really matter, but his averted eyes suggested otherwise.

It had never actually occurred to Kei that he had the power to hurt Tetsurou Kuroo’s feelings. He had just assumed that he was being played with, because he couldn’t imagine that somebody like Kuroo could be serious about him. But all this time, Kuroo had been sincere. No wonder he’d got so angry when Kei had called it all a game.

“I didn’t - It wasn’t like that, for me,” Kei said quietly.

He’d told himself over and over that it was just a game, but the truth was that Kei had cared about what Kuroo thought of him ever since he’d strolled onto the pitch during Kei’s Quidditch tryout in September. He never would have been so nervous about kissing Kuroo in the first place if it didn’t matter to him. He never would have had sex with him if he hadn’t trusted him. He wouldn’t have had to constantly remind himself that it was all just a game if he’d really believed that it was.

“What do you want from me, Kei?” Kuroo asked, looking him in the eye.

But Kei couldn’t be quite so direct. “Does it matter? You’re graduating next month.”

“That doesn’t have to change anything.”

“Of course it does,” Kei said irritably and it was a relief to feel something as familiar as annoyance. “You’re not going to want to date a schoolboy when you’re an Auror.”

“Even if I get accepted, I’ll be a trainee for another three years before I actually become an Auror,” Kuroo pointed out. “Anyway, you make it sound so dodgy, but you’re only two years younger than me, Kei, and you’ll be of age in a few months.”

“That’s not the point. I’ll still be at school,” Kei argued. “We wouldn’t be able to meet except at the holidays, and you’d have more important things to worry about.”

“We can figure it out. I’ll wait for you, Kei.”

Kei had felt ridiculous bringing up the future when they hadn’t even figured out what they were doing _now_ , but Kuroo was even worse. He was talking about _two years_ down the line.

“ _Why_?” The question finally burst out. Kei couldn’t hold it back anymore.

“Because I really like you,” Kuroo said simply.

Maybe Kei should have been happy to hear that, but Kuroo had already said as much earlier. Instead, he felt a stab of guilt. He was the one who had asked to speak to Kuroo. He was the one who was supposed to be admitting his feelings. So at last he said what he’d only allowed himself to think when he was drunk, sitting at the bottom of the stairs to the Astronomy Tower with Kuroo on New Year’s Eve.

“I don’t want to be friends with you. And I don’t want play games with you.” Kei took a deep breath. He could feel his face turning red. But Kuroo had been so open and honest for the entire conversation, and he deserved the same from Kei. “I want to date you.”

“Really?” Kuroo exhaled, like he’d been holding his breath.

Kei nodded at the ground, scowling with embarrassment.

Kuroo stepped towards him and Kei’s eyes jolted up to look at him again. Kuroo was smiling, so widely and happily that it was infectious, and Kei had to raise a hand to cover his own mouth.

“Kei,” Kuroo said, tugging at Kei’s wrist to pull his hand away from his face. “Will you be my boyfriend?”

 _Stupid_.

“Isn’t that what I just said?” Kei muttered.

Kuroo cupped Kei’s face in his hands, forcing him to look up at him, and said teasingly, “So is this what you look like when you’re happy?”

“No. This is what second-hand embarrassment looks like.”

He didn’t know how Kuroo could say that word without cringing. Later, Kuroo would make him say it too. He’d provoke Kei with kisses and touches and sly teasing words, until eventually Kei was embarrassed, annoyed, and turned on enough to admit that, _fine_ , they were _boyfriends_.

But for now, Kei just stepped closer and kissed him. It was short - after all, they were standing in a great, open corridor in the middle of school, where anybody could see them. But it was a firm kiss, with Kei’s fingers gripping the front of Kuroo’s robes, and Kuroo’s hands still on his face. It was a relief, and happiness, and an apology, and a promise.

 

* * *

 

“ _We’re free!_ ” Bokuto yelled and soared off into the sun.

“Hey, we still have to make the teams!” Kuroo shouted from the ground, but Bokuto just corkscrewed through the sky and whooped. Kuroo sighed and grumbled, “Stupid badger.”

“He’ll be on my team,” Akaashi said. “We’re two short, though. Yukie already had plans and Kaori didn’t want to be the only girl.”

“We could ask Kenma to join us,” Ravenclaw Chaser Lev Haiba suggested, from where he stood looming over teammates Morisuke Yaku and Taketora Yamamoto.

“It would take very Dark magic to drag Kenma out into the sun on a day off,” Kuroo said dryly.

“Um, actually,” Tadashi said, looking nervous and embarrassed to be speaking in front of everybody. “Shouyou and Tobio saw me leaving and they kind of invited themselves. They should be here soon. They just went up to get their brooms. Sorry, Kei.”

 _Great_ , Kei thought sourly. Kuroo and Bokuto had gathered enough people from Gryffindor, Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff for one last Quidditch match. Tonight was the Leaving Feast and tomorrow morning everybody would board the train and go home for the summer holiday. This was the last opportunity that they would have to play together at Hogwarts before the seventh years graduated, and Kei hadn’t planned on spending it with Shouyou or Tobio.

“Should we play Gryffindors versus Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs, then?” Daichi said. Besides Kei and Tadashi, he, Ryuu and Yuu had been invited too. Only Asahi had been too busy with last-minute packing to come. With Shouyou and Tobio they’d have a full team.

“Is it really okay that I’m here?” Tadashi asked Kei quietly, while everybody else discussed Daichi’s proposal. “I’m the only one not on the Quidditch team.”

“You will be next year,” Kei said.

Tadashi looked flattered, but Kei hadn’t said it to compliment him. He knew it was going to happen.

“I’m going to go get the ball crate,” Kuroo announced. “Tsukishima, come give me a hand.”

“What, is it too heavy for you?” Kei asked with a sarcastic smile, raising his eyebrows.

“No. It’s just _hard_ to do alone.”

Resisting the urge to hex Kuroo for his dumb innuendos and stupid smirking face, Kei followed Kuroo out of the stadium, aware that at least half of the people behind them knew exactly why they were going together.

Once they were out of earshot, he said, “I’m not going to jerk you off in the broomshed.”

“Tsukki, I’m shocked and appalled!” Kuroo said, clutching his chest dramatically. “I don’t know where you’d get such an idea!”

“Don’t pretend that wasn’t exactly what you meant when you asked for ‘a hand’.”

“I’d never! The youth of today are so corrupted.”

“The only one who’s corrupted me is you,” Kei said flatly, pushing open the door to the broomshed.

As he glanced around for the ball crate, Kuroo came up behind him and slid his arms around Kei’s waist. His voice was a predatory purr in Kei’s ear when he said, “Well, in that case, how about I corrupt you a little more? I’ll make it so that you can never come in here without remembering me and getting a little-” He pressed a kiss to Kei’s neck before he finished “-turned on.”

Kei was pretty sure Kuroo had already done that on Saturday, after their final exams. They’d come down to the pitch to fly with Akaashi and Bokuto, and ended up on the floor of the broomshed, doing things that made Kei feel hot again just thinking about. But of course, he was never going to give Kuroo the satisfaction of knowing that.

“Everybody’s waiting for us,” Kei grumbled, but he made no move to pull away.

“So let them wait.”

Kuroo’s hands slid to Kei’s hips and tugged gently to make him face him. Whatever Kei had been planning on retorting, he forgot it as soon as he turned around. Kuroo’s hot, hooded gaze was on his mouth and he brushed his thumb across Kei’s bottom lip before cupping his jaw and pulling him into a soft, deliberate kiss.

It reminded Kei of the time Kuroo had kissed him in the Ravenclaw common room. Back then, he had pulled away, made uneasy by the affection in Kuroo’s touch. This time, he just relaxed into it, even as his heart pounded. He’d learnt that Kuroo had many different ways of kissing to suit his mood - affectionate, teasing, happy, hungry - and he liked them all.

“I’m going to miss you,” Kuroo said against his lips, when he finally broke away.

“Shut up,” Kei said with a frown and pulled out of Kuroo’s grip. “You’ll see me on Wednesday.”

“You know what I mean.”

Kei did know. This was the last day that they’d be living at Hogwarts together. There would be no more studying in the library together, or sneaking away to empty classrooms, or even just looking up at breakfast and seeing Kuroo across the room. But Kei didn’t want to think about school starting again in September, and Kuroo not being there anymore.

“Are we going to go play Quidditch, or are you stalling because you’re scared of losing again?” Kei asked, raising his eyebrows with a mocking smile.

“Don’t worry. I’ll go easy on you, Tsukki,” Kuroo said with an easy grin, and hoisted the ball crate onto his shoulder. “I can’t have your team deciding they need to stay at school over Christmas and Easter for extra training again.”

“Why? Are you afraid we’re going to crush Ravenclaw without you?”

“No. Because you’re going to be spending the holidays with me.”

Christmas seemed like a very long time away. By then Kei would be in his sixth year, and Kuroo would have started his Auror training, if he was accepted into the programme. There was still so much that could go wrong before then. Kuroo could get too busy with his training to concern himself with Kei, or realise he was no longer interested in dating a schoolboy, or meet somebody else out in the wide world beyond Hogwarts.

But even knowing that, and even though he’d never admit it out loud, he liked that Kuroo talked like it was a given that they’d still be together six months from now, and maybe even beyond that.

Kei turned away to hide his flush and stepped out of the broomshed, into the sunlight. When Kuroo joined him to head back to the stadium, Kei said, “I knew you didn’t need my help carrying.”

Kuroo just grinned and changed the subject.

“So, for our date on Wednesday, I was thinking we could go to Muggle London. I could show you around the city.”

A real date, where they wouldn’t have to worry about being seen by anybody who knew them. He’d be able to see Kuroo dressed in those scandalously form-fitting clothes that Muggles wore, when they had to change out of their wizarding robes for the Muggle world. And they could hold hands in public and do whatever it was that real couples did.

There was nobody else in sight out on the grounds, so Kei hooked his fingers around Kuroo’s free hand, just for until they reached the stadium, and said, “Yeah. I’d like that.”


End file.
